Mystery Cat
by The Lady Elizabeth
Summary: Everyone has to begin somewhere. A story about a most fascinating character, Macavity. Starts out when he is a small kitten to just beyond the Jellicle Ball.
1. I

**MYSTERY CAT  
**_by Medianoche  
(aka The Lady Elizabeth)_

**Chapter One**

Panting, I hurled myself between two garbage cans, overflowing with the remains of human meals and other, even less savory, items. My stomach nearly forced up the contents of my breakfast at the smell, but I didn't dare back out of there. The moment I stopped running, my legs went weak with exhaustion and I sunk to my knees. Since my legs didn't seem to want to work anymore, I managed to drag myself backwards until I reached the wall behind the cans. Pressing my back against it, I told myself not to cry, even though I desperately wanted to.

"_Damn it!_ I saw him run down _this_ way!" The booming baritone voice paused. I could almost see its owner glaring savagely at the others around him. "Well, don't just _stand_ there, you idiots! _Find him!_"

There were grunts of agreement and I heard their voices scatter throughout the alley, no doubt hunting for me. My heart was thudding so loudly in my chest, I was certain they could hear it. As several thickly accented voices drew nearer to me, I pressed my paws over my chest and closed my eyes. It's very strange, trying to will your heart to stop beating so loudly. Of course, I began to realize that it wasn't a matter of _if_ they would find me but _when_ they would find me. I licked at my lips and tried to calm down. The crash of a garbage can not to far away brought me out of my feeble attempts to calm myself. My eyes snapped open.

_Fine,_ I thought. _If you want me you're going to have to __**catch**__ me._

Forcing my exhausted body to crawl along the brick wall behind the garbage cans, I noticed that my breathing was hoarse and raspy from too much running. I considered myself to be decently athletic, so I knew I was fast pushing my body to its limits. I didn't let myself worry about my limits nearly as much as I began to worry about the echo of my breathing behind the metal garbage cans.

Crawling behind the garbage cans wasn't exactly the safest thing to be doing, but what other option did I have? Go on a mad dash out from behind them and see if I could outrun them? _That_ was a laugh. I could outrun a lot of kittens my age, but trying to outrun full-grown, strong, street-hardened (did I mention _big_ yet?) toms was a death wish. I preferred the more cowardly, less lethal method of sneaking out past them before running back home.

Of course, just as I was nearing the edge of where the cans and wall hid me, my forepaw fell over a piece of jagged glass and immediately sunk in. For second, I didn't feel a _thing_. Then, as the pain sunk in, I screamed and tried to pry it from my paw. Almost immediately after I began to claw at the piece of glass did I realize that everyone had just heard me just as well as if I had shouted out exactly where I had been hiding. There was nothing else left for me to do than run, so I stood up and did.

I got about three strides before I felt something heavy collide with the small of my back. I barely choked back another scream and sunk down onto my knees.

_I was dying. _

At least, that's what it felt like. My middle felt like millions of molten hot shards of glass had exploded inside of it. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. Then, just as suddenly as the pain had exploded within me, my body shut down and I felt nothing. I closed my eyes and gasped in the little bit of air my abused body could handle. There was rustling around me and distant voices. I opened my eyes to find a fog of unfamiliar, unfriendly faces. I winced.

"Stand him up," the biggest tom growled and I felt myself being yanked upright.

Even without the bizarre pain in my back and abdomen, the two toms holding my arms tightly prevented me from even attempting to escape. I winced again as I felt my legs tremble mutinously. After a brief fight with myself to stay upright, I left myself fall limp. As I had predicted, the toms holding onto my arms kept me upright. I raised my hand to stare back at my captors.

"Well," the tom in charge growled. "You certainly have a lot of fight in you, don't you, kid? It's a shame that one good hit brings you down. But, then again, what can you expect from a _Jellicle_?"

He nodded to another tom, meaning for me to follow his gaze. I looked reluctantly. The other tom sneered at me then tossed a wooden board to the ground. I winced once more. No wonder my back felt the way it did. I turned back.

"My _back_," I gasped weakly, unable to make a threat, boast of confidence, or even a plea for mercy. "I can't..."

"Can't what?" He laughed as I raised myself up and tried to stand on my own feet. My legs trembled, shook painfully, and gave out. "Feel it? A good blow will do that, you know. You're lucky though. He could've hit your head and killed you."

"Why _didn't_ he?" I asked, surprised at the newly found strength in my voice. I decided to go with it. "Not _scared_ to kill a _kitten_, is he?"

"Brave little thing, aren't you?"

He didn't wait for me to respond. Instead, he pulled back his arm and, before my brain could figure out what was happening, slammed it hard into my stomach. I felt the air rush out of me and tears automatically sprung to my eyes. I tried to crumple into a protective ball, but was forced to stand up right. I felt my tears run down my face as I struggled to catch my breath.

"Well, there you go, boys. Remember: if you hit a Jellicle in the stomach, it will cry for you." He raised my chin and gave me a repulsively sympathetic smile. "Isn't that right?" he cackled.

I pressed my lips together, determined not to actually cry. If my eyes watered from pain, _fine_, but I wouldn't let myself cry in front of him. He had probably seen too many of his victims sob and beg for mercy. I wasn't going to be one of them. If I was going to die, I was going to die with a little more style than that. I narrowed my eyes and put on my fiercest face.

"Just _kill_ me already," I growled. "I know that's what you have planned anyway."

"True," he agreed. "Very true, but not _just yet_. I thought it'd be fun to rough you up a bit first." He raised his eyebrows at me as if sharing a secret. "Besides, a quick death would be _too_ easy for you, my friend. With all the grief you've cause me, death shouldn't come too _soon_ for you."

I heard myself scream in my head as he unsheathed his claws and drew his paw back a little further. I once more struggled to my feet and found myself able to maintain my own weight for a longer period of time than before. I swallowed and raised my head up, even though the kitten inside of me was hysterical.

"Don't fight, kid. I'll only make it worse for you if you do."

I shook my head, playing my last card. "No. You're a _coward_. You don't have the _nerve_ to kill me."

He threw back his head and laughed as if that were the funniest thing he'd ever heard. I looked around quickly as the other toms joined just a bit too late. He shot them a disgusted look and they all fell silent. "And why is _that_?"

"My grandfather. You're scared of him."

Suddenly angry, he grabbed me by the throat and jerked me away from the other toms. I struggled pointlessly to stay on my weakened legs as he tightened his grip, his stale breath on my face. Blackness began to creep into the edges of my vision. I had to fight to stay conscious.

"Your _grandfather_," he hissed, "is _nothing_ anymore. He's little better than a figurehead. Everyone knows that."

"No," I choked. I tried to push his paws away as colored spots danced in front of my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but they were just as determine to stay in my face as the tom holding onto my throat was.

"_Yes._ And _who's_ going to save you now? Nobody. Not even your own father is here to save you."

"_No_," I gasped again, feeling consciousness start to slip away.

"And why would he be? You were a _mistake_. They never _wanted_ you."

"Not... true..."

"It _is_ true. Why else would they _abandon_ you?"

Maybe it was the pain or the sting of the truth, but I began to cry. My tears weren't loud and I don't think I shed more than a few, but it didn't matter. I had started to cry for real this time. Satisfied at that, he dropped his paw and let me collapse to the ground. My throat burned and my stupid tears only made it worse. I wiped my face weakly and looked up. There was still a black, fuzzy edge around my vision.

"You're _wrong_..." I gasped weakly.

"_Am_ I? Why don't you ask your _grandfather_ about it? That is, if you survive."

I started to protest, but was yanked roughly to my feet again. Before I could move, my face was struck with his fisted paw. My head snapped back with the blow and I felt my nose break as it made a popping sound. I stayed on my feet for a moment, which was probably a bad thing. The tom grabbed my shoulders and used my own body to leverage his knee up against my stomach. Once more I was reduced to a gasping ball on the ground.

"Hell, why don't we just rough him up and send him back to his _grandpa_? A little _gift_, let's say, for him. I'm sure he'd like to see just what his precious little _grandson_ looks like broken. That'll tell him that we don't mess around, even if the offender _is_ only a kitten. We'll kill the kid later. After his _grandpa_ gets a chance to see him." This was met by more laughter and cries of approval.

I felt another blow against my back, which made me arch my stomach forward. That gained another kick to my stomach. After that, I slipped to a foggy, semi-conscious state as the kicks and blows rained down mercilessly onto my body. I could feel myself speeding quickly towards death and began to cry harder, even though I could barely hear my own voice above the rushing of my blood in my ears.

Suddenly, it stopped. Everything was quiet and, even though my body was screaming in agony, nothing new hit me for a full few seconds.

"Boss! Someone's coming."

"All right. Maybe it's his grandfather, after all. We'll leave him here. C'mon."

I stopped trying to hide my tremors of pain as they slipped into the shadows. My back went into a violent spasm and I cried out.

"Oh, Heavyside. Is that _him_?" I heard someone ask. I squeezed my eyes tightly, hoping to shut away my brain from my body.

"Yes," another male voice replied.

I felt my head being lifted gently. Someone was obviously examining my condition. I wondered what they were seeing. My head was lowered, but almost as soon as it was back on the ground, strong arms were under my knees and back. I was lifted off the ground slowly and cautiously.

"Do you have him?"

"He won't fall."

"Good." I felt a paw run down my cheek. I struggled to open my eyes at the profoundly gentle gesture.

"_Grandpa_?" I asked weakly.

"Shh. You're hurt pretty badly this time. What did you _do_ to provoke this?"

"Grandpa, I..." I couldn't say anymore. I pressed my battered face against the chest of the tom carrying me and whimpered. My whole body ached too badly to speak.

"Oh, Macavity, what _are_ we going to do with you?" I heard him ask before I fainted.

* * *

I sat with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and watched Jennyanydots bustle around. She glanced at me and frowned.

"Why can't you just stay _out_ of trouble for _once_ in your life? Your brothers never give me this kind of grief." She motioned for me to lean forward. "I don't remember the last time I had to fix either one of them up."

She dabbed at a cut on my forehead. It stung so I clenched my teeth together. "I'm not _like_ them, Aunt Jenny," I replied softly.

She leaned back. "Of course you're not. You've got more of your father in you than I'd ever like to see in anyone."

"What do you mean?"

She hesitated. "Nothing." She patted my head, giving me a smile. "There. Feeling _any_ better now?"

I nodded slightly. "Yes, but my back still hurts. Right here," I said, pointing to the small of my back.

"And it will. You took a pretty good beating there."

I caught her eye again. "Are you mad at me?"

"I..." She sighed deeply. "No, Macavity, I'm not mad at you. I wish you wouldn't go _looking_ for trouble, though. I really do." She caught my chin in her paws. "You don't know what I go through every time trouble finds you."

"Aunt Jenny, I-"

"I thought you were _dead_ this time," she said, cutting me off. "I thought he'd finally gotten sick of giving you a bump here and there and decided to _kill_ you. And you know what? I blamed _myself_." She let out a nervous little laugh. "I blamed myself for not keeping better watch over you."

I stared at her, numb. She blamed herself for my knack for finding trouble where ever I went. I felt my bottom lip tremble.

"I'm sorry," I said weakly.

She wrapped me in a tight hug before I could actually cry. I'd cried enough for one week. After a moment, she pulled back and looked deep into my eyes.

"_Promise_ me that you won't go looking for him." I looked away. "Macavity!"

"I can't promise you anything, Aunt Jenny. If I find him again, I-"

"_You're a kitten!_" she cried and slapped me across the face.

We were both shocked; she'd never hit me before. I touched the side of my face, half expecting blood.

"You're no match for a big tom like him," she finished weakly.

"OK," I said softly. She stroked my face, trying to make up with me.

"I just don't want to see you get _hurt_ again."

We sat in silence for a moment. "Can I go play?"

She frowned slightly. "I suppose so. If you start to hurt again, come straight here. And no rough housing."

"I won't." At least that was a promise that I could keep.

She swatted lightly at me. "Go on, now. Go play."

* * *

"Eh _hem_," I said, loudly clearing my throat.

My youngest brother jumped to his feet, concern all over his face. My other brother gave me a slightly disgusted look and looked back down at the ground.

"Macavity! How are you? We heard what happened. Did they hurt you bad?" my youngest brother asked.

"Nah, they could never hurt me _too_ badly."

My other brother raised an eyebrow. "That's why you spent the last three days unconscious at Aunt Jenny's."

I narrowed my eyes. "I bounced back, _didn't_ I?"

"With one eye swollen shut, _yes_, you did."

"And," I said, taking an aggressive step forward, "I suppose you, the great and wonderful Munkustrap, could've done any better?"

He scowled darkly. "I wouldn't have gotten into a fight to begin with."

"Oh, excuse me. You're the _pacifist_, huh? No fights for you."

"Maybe I'll make an exception for you," he growled, angry now.

Luckily, our other brother held up his paws. "Guys, stop. We should be glad that Macavity's not dead, right?" He looked pointedly at Munkustrap.

"I guess so," he mumbled, not looking very convincing. "Let's play tag or something, Tug."

Tugger nodded eagerly. "OK. You're It, Munk."

"I'm always It."

" 'Cuz you're so good at it," Tugger laughed.

"Fine. I'm only counting to ten, so you'd better run."

"_Wait_! What are we playing?" I asked. Munkustrap rolled his eyes.

"Hide and Seek."

With an abrupt spin, he started the game. Tugger grabbed my paw and practically dragged me after him. I almost laughed, but I bit my lip to hold it back. We ducked into a huge, long since abandoned pipe.

Tugger turned to me anxiously. "Are you _sure_ you're OK?"

"I'm fine. Like I said, you have to get up pretty early in the morning to pull one over Macavity."

"Just be _careful_," he warned, not laughing at my cocky behavior like he usually did. "They've had it out

for you since you found out about their warehouse."

I shrugged and picked at the peeling paint on the inner walls of the pipe. "I _know_ that." I looked up at him. "I'm not _that_ stupid, Tug."

"I didn't say you _were_. But... please, Macavity. Remember what they _did_ to Orion's dad?"

I shivered involuntarily. "Of course I do. How do you go and forget something like that?"

Looking older than I'd ever seen him, Tugger shook his head sadly. "You don't. That's why I'm warning you."

I patted his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, little brother. I've got things under control."

He smiled slowly. "I hope you do." Then his smile turned distinctively devilish.

"What? What are you gonna-"

"MUNK! He's in here!" he shouted as loud as a kitten of his size could and raced out the pipe.

My jaw dropped. "Rum Tum Tugger, you _jerk_! I'm going to get you for that!"

I raced out of the pipe after him, trying to dodge away from Munkustrap, but still getting tagged. I stood still for a moment and caught sight of a couple of the other Jellicle kittens run over to him to join in. Alonzo and Cassandra giggled madly for a moment, then she ducked behind Munkustrap and Alonzo raced off after Tugger.

_Oh, well_, I thought, grinning. _Wait until I get my paws on that stupid brother of mine._

Old Deuteronomy stared down at me, his face blank and expressionless. I shifted my weight nervously, wanting to hide from his disproval. Then, almost without warning, he broke into a wide smile. He opened his arms and I ran into them, clutching him tightly.

"Macavity, my boy, _what_ are we going to do with you?" he laughed. "Maybe chain you up somewhere until you're old and gray?"

I shook my head. "I'd bribe Orion to get the key."

Ruffling the fur on the top of my head, he laughed again. "I guess you're right."

"Of _course_ I'm right. I'm Macavity!"

"How could I forget?" he replied, rolling his eyes a little. Then he turned serious. "I don't want to you to leave the junkyard for about another month or so."

"_What_? Why not, Grandpa?

"They'll kill you if they catch you," he said bluntly. Somehow it seemed so much more like a real threat when he said compared to my brother. I paled a little. He noticed and patted my shoulder.

"Don't worry. As long as you stay within the junkyard, they wouldn't dare to touch a hair on your head. They're cowards at heart."

I didn't say anything. The fact that they were cowards, most of them, changed little. They still wanted me dead and I would be if they ever caught me. Deuteronomy hugged me again.

"It's fine, Mac. Just stay close and you'll be fine."

I nodded then remembered what _he_ had said to me before. I hesitantly looked up at my grandfather. I didn't know if I should ask him or not.

"Something wrong, Macavity?"

"Grandpa..."

"Yes?"

"He... he told me that I was a mistake. That my father never wanted me... is that _true_? Is _that_ why I was left here?"

Old Deuteronomy stared at me for a very long moment. He didn't answer. I felt sick to my stomach. It was true. My own _parents_ hadn't wanted me. I let out the air I hadn't realized I had been holding in a low rush of disappointment.

"Macavity? Look at me."

I looked. He put his strong paws on my shoulders. I wasn't sure if I wanted his comfort, but I didn't dare to shove him away.

"You're wanted here. Your aunt Jenny loves you very much and so do I."

"What about my father? My mother?"

"Macavity, I don't think it was that they didn't want you. They just couldn't have you."

"Or Munk and Tugger?"

He paused a little before responding. "Or them. You're much better here than with them."

"But _why_? Why would they just abandon us _here_?"

He patted my arm. "In time. I wish I could tell you all that you want right now, but you're still too young to understand fully."

"But, Grandpa-"

"No buts. I'll tell you when you're old enough."

I wanted to shout that I was old enough to know why my own parents hadn't wanted me, but I knew better. He would tell me when he felt that I was ready. Not before. It didn't stop me from being upset, though. I blinked and turned my face away from his eyes.

"Yes, Grandpa. I understand."

I could see him smile out of the corner of my eyes. "Good. I knew you would. Now, go play with your brothers. They've missed you while you were so ill."

I sighed and headed away and out towards where the other kittens were playing.

* * *

_Mystery Cat_ is a 16 part story which I began writing in **late 2001**. I first published the story on my CATS website (which is still up and being updated, time permitting) in **Janurary 2002**. The story was completed in **September 2002**. This was a landmark fan fiction for me because, while not being the first one I wrote, this was the first attempt I made at a long, in-depth story that I actually finished. Major revisions are being made to each chapter in order to improve the quality of the story, but it will remain the same story overall.

**NOTE:** I am also desperately looking for an artist/illustrator who would be interested in illustrating this novel. I'm sure we can work out something privately, but please, even if you only want to do a picture or two, I would adore having this story illustrated. Thanks so much in advance to everyone who responds.


	2. II

**Chapter Two**

"Macavity? _Macavity?_"

I felt something nuzzle against my face. I blinked a couple of times before stretching. Wiping my paws across my eyes to clean away the sleep, I then focused my eyes so that I could see who had waked me up. Inches from my face another Jellicle kitten was staring warmly back at me. I yawned and smiled at her.

"Hi, Cassie. What's up?"

Her sleek brown nose was about three inches from my own and her deep brown eyes were trained closely on mine. We didn't move for a second then she smiled and leaned back.

"Nothing. I was bored and wondered what you were doing," she replied, looking a little embarrassed. I thought she looked pretty when she did that. Quickly, I shooed that thought from my mind. You weren't supposed to think that your friends were cute. It just felt weird and wrong. "Sorry that I woke you up."

"That's all right. My side still hurts a little, so I decided to take a short nap," I admitted. She frowned, looking concerned.

"I'm sorry. If I had known that your side sill hurt, I would've have bothered you."

"No, it's all right," I assured her, sitting up. "See? It doesn't hurt that much." I poked my ribs to prove my point. Instantly, I bit the inside of my lip to fight back an exclamation of pain. My ribs were still tender to the touch, but Cassandra looked relieved, so I didn't say anything about the way they were now starting to ache again.

"I'm glad you're feeling better."

I started to nod slowly. I wasn't exactly feeling much better. Physically, I was much better and well past the point where I couldn't do much before needing to rest. I was still shaken up about my encounter. I nearly shivered when I thought about how close I had come to death. However, the worst part, the part I hadn't yet managed to ease the sting of, was what he had told me. How could he have possibly known that I was an orphan, living only because my grandfather had taken us in when my parents deserted us.

Cassandra smiled again then suddenly found her long, brown tail very fascinating. Her brown eyes dropped from mine and she didn't seem to want to look at me. She twisted her tail through her slender paws several times before releasing it and looking timidly back up at me.

"What did they do to you?" she asked so softly that I almost couldn't hear her. I looked away, feeling a little ashamed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You can tell _me_ anything," she said softly. "You always have. Besides, I'm worried about you."

Still dwelling on my painful feelings, I lased out at her. "Well, don't be. I'm perfectly fine. Every keeps treating me like a baby or something. Why does everything think I need to be protected?" I snapped angrily.

She pulled away from me, her sleek, brown face looking hurt and her eyes betraying tears. She drew her knees up against her chest and watched me warily, her breath coming faster. The air was tense between us. I wanted to hit myself for being so stupid.

I hung my head. Damn my short temper. "I'm sorry, Cassie. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

I saw her relax out of the corner of my eye. She suddenly looked ashamed, like she had done something wrong. I looked up, curious as to what she'd say.

"And... and I shouldn't be asking you. Things that you don't want to answer, I mean. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings or anything," she mumbled.

I smiled weakly and looked down again. It was weird, feeling so awkward around my best friend all of a sudden. It was as though my little brush with death had suddenly thrown everything into a different perspective for me. Instead of seeing Cassandra as my best friend, I was beginning to see as a rather pretty kitten who was turning into an even beautiful young queen. I swallowed.

When I had calmed my nerves, I looked back up to apologize again to her. To my surprise, she quickly moved closer in front of me, her lips parted as if she couldn't find the words to fill in what we were both thinking. For a moment, neither of us moved or said anything. I had an idea of what she had planned, I knew deep down somewhere, but my heart seemed to have stopped. We were both too scared to move or act on anything that was in our minds.

"Cassie..." I murmured softly. She sighed softly and leaned her forehead against mine. Her dark eyes fluttered shut. The warmth of her body again mine was frightening and comforting at the same time. I shut my eyes. "Cassie?"

"Kiss me, Macavity," she murmured. "Just kiss me."

I pressed my lips against hers quickly then pulled away. She opened her eyes slowly and looked cautiously at me. Her eyes were too searching. I felt like she was probing into my soul with them. I looked away. "Macavity? Are you all right?"

She stood then suddenly uncomfortable as I was. "I have to go. I'm sorry… I have to go now. I need-"

I grabbed her arm and spun her around before she could leave. Something in her eyes suddenly made my heart pound against my chest. I felt lightheaded, nervous, and elated, all at the same time. She opened her mouth once more, her eyes searching my face to determine what I was expecting her to do.

I pressed my mouth to hers, deciding to ignore the part inside of me that was shouting that I shouldn't do this. I felt my stomach twisting nervously as I pressed my tongue against her lips, demanding entrance. She opened her mouth willingly and I felt my body tingle as I tentatively began to explore her mouth.

I wrapped my arms around her and felt her press against me. She was still a little taller than me, so I had to tilt my face up a little to kiss her properly.

We sunk down onto my bed and she reached up with her paws to cup my face. I nearly toppled on top of her as we sunk down, but somehow managed to avoid crushing her underneath me. She moaned suddenly and I ended the kiss breathlessly.

"Should we...?" she trailed off, her eyes questioning. I kissed her again, but the heat there before wasn't there anymore. I pulled away from her, feeling embarrassed

"Cassie, I just… I don't think…"

I hung my head and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. This wasn't right. I wasn't why, but instead of feeling good about kissing her (the older tom kittens told us a little about what it was like to be intimate with a queen), I felt miserable. When the thought of how close I had come to death and to missing out on any of this, I felt hot, shameful tears course down my cheeks.

"Shhh," she whispered.

I felt her run her paws down my back in slow, comforting circles. I buried my face against her neck and choked back another sob. One embrace was turning me into mush, but I couldn't help myself. All of my doubts were whirling around in my head too fast for me to gain control over any of them.

"Macavity, you're safe here. You're wanted here."

I didn't ask how she knew.

* * *

Nearly a week passed. Cassandra and I hadn't said much to each other and we hadn't told anyone what had happened between us. I had fallen asleep in her arms and she'd left me alone. I hadn't even confided in my best tom friend, Orion.

At that moment, he punched me in the arm. I jerked upright, startled from my thoughts. "Wake up, Macavity! We're trying to play a game here, in case you didn't guess."

"Huh?"

"If you don't wake up, we're going to get tagged and lose! And if we lose because your head is in the clouds, I'm going to beat the kitty litter out of you."

I shook my head. "No, you're not." I smiled when he raised his eyebrows. "You never win when we fight, remember? Now, let's see where my wonderful brother is."

I moved forward and spotted my brother seriously surveying the junkyard. His face was almost serious enough for me to burst into laughter. I clapped a paw over my mouth and backed up quickly. "_Captain Serious_ is right out there," I snorted through my paws. Orion's upper lip twitched, trying to hold back a grin at my rather stupid sounding noises.

"Right out there?"

"Yeah. We'll have to go the other way." I giggled again then tightened my grip over my mouth. I sounded like an idiot giggling and I wasn't going to give Orion the satisfaction of making fun of me.

Nodding, Orion crept forwards toward the fence, towards the great tire in the center of the junkyard. I followed closely behind him, covering my mouth so that I wouldn't burst into laughter as Munkustrap's ears jerked forward and he spun to face some unseen foe. No doubt he'd spotted one of the other kittens playing with us as he crept in the opposite direction.

Orion made a circle next to his ear to indicate that my brother was nuts and poked me. I shrugged him away, refusing to look at him, lest I burst into more demented giggling. We darted behind the tire, grinning to ourselves. We must've looked like crazy kittens to anyone watching us.

My smile instantly slid off my face when we got behind the tire. I staggered back with a gasp.

"Cassie?"

She looked up, frightened and startled. She was pressed close against Alonzo and it was pretty clear that they had been kissing. Alonzo grinned sheepishly, his arms still around her waist.

"Don't you guys _knock_?" he asked blushing. Orion snickered.

"Why don't you get a room, Lonnie? Then maybe you wouldn't have people barging in on you."

Cassandra seemed to be the only one aware of me. Her mouth opened a little and her eyes widened. I could see terror of what I might do welling up inside of her. She shook her head slightly, trying to convince me not to say anything.

Suddenly, as if I didn't have any control over my body, I reached out and jerked him away from her. Wide-eyed, he didn't say anything as I jerked him to his feet. He stumbled over his own feet and when I did have him up, he was still a few inches shorter than I was.

"Get your damn paws off her!" I snarled.

"Macavity, _stop_!" I could hear Cassandra shrieking at me now, but I didn't pay her any heed. She didn't have any idea of what she'd done, _did she_? How _dare_ she try to stop me? I turned my attention back to Alonzo.

I gave him a hard shake and he seemed to leave his temporary state of shock. His spotted fur tumbled into his eyes and he tried to push me away.

"Macavity! What are you doing? _Stop it!_"

I shoved him hard against the fence and he let out a yelp of pain as one of the wires dugs into his back. That startled me enough for me to relax my grip. He shoved me back and tried to run past. I tripped him and jumped on top of him. I heard a rush of air as I knocked the breath out of him.

"_Macavity_!" I felt Orion try to pull me off, but I shoved him away angrily.

I felt my paw connect with Alonzo's jaw and felt a jolt of pain shoot up my arm, but my anger was too hot for that to stop me. He cried out and tried to cover his face. I could hear Munkustrap running towards calling for our grandfather. Calling for some sort of adult help. Alonzo managed to flip over and started to crawl away as I hesitated, wondering what sort of trouble I was in for now. Quickly, though, that thought abandoned my mind. I pushed my full weight onto him and he was pressed flat onto the ground.

A nasty cracking sound brought me abruptly to my senses. Time seemed to slow down. The other kittens fell into silence. Orion's eyes widened in horror and Cassandra looked as though she were going to faint. I saw Munkustrap freeze in shock and stand with his paws hanging at his sides. He shook his head slowly, his eyes meeting mine.

Then Alonzo gave a scream of agony.

I leaped off of him, horrified. I staggered away, my breath coming in rapid gasps from exertion. I looked down at the other, younger kitten, wanting to turn back time more now than ever before.

He rolled onto his side, bringing his legs up towards his chest, trying to protect his injured arm. Deep gasps and sobs were coming from his shaking body. He held his right arm close to his chest. For a fleeting moment, I couldn't figure out why he was so upset. Then reality snapped back into play and I reeled farther away from the younger kitten.

"What's going on here?"

I didn't dare move as Skimbleshanks knelt beside Alonzo. He drew the nearly hysterical kitten into a sitting position. I could tell that his paw, maybe even his arm, was broken the moment I caught sight of it.

"_What happened_?" Skimbleshanks demanded again, angry now. I shook my head and backed away.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

"Not a step further," Skimblshanks growled. "Don't you _dare_ move!" He wrapped his arms around Alonzo.

"Are you all right?"

His bright eyes glanced at me and he shrunk back in fear. His nose was bleeding onto his white fur and I felt my heart sink. He buried his face in the older tom's coat. "Macavity... he... he..." He didn't get any further than that since Skimbleshanks scooped him off the ground. His sharp green eyes narrowed at me.

"_You_ follow me!" he snapped. He glanced back at the other kittens. "You, too."

I followed him, feeling more drained than ever before in my life.

* * *

I walked numbly away from Jennyanydots' den.

I'd been punished, of course. A month of having of having to stay in my den with Jellylorum bringing me food and water. What had drawn me into a numb, blurry state was the raw hatred in Alonzo's eyes as his paw was bandaged and the anger and disappointment in my grandfather's eyes.

When I got back to my den, I flung myself onto my bed. After a moment, I felt eyes on me. I sat up and turned around to see Munkustrap standing in the doorway, looking for once unsure and ill at ease.

"What do you want?"

"Why'd you _do_ that?" he shot back.

I slumped back onto my bed and facing away from him. "Go away."

"Not until you answer me."

"What do you want to hear?"

I could almost see him trying to figure out the right words to say to me. "I want to hear what you have to say! I don't want some answer just to get me out of your face."

"You wouldn't understand, even if I told you," I said softly, still refusing to look at him. "You just… you just wouldn't get it. Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Macavity, I want to understand." I could hear him come closer and remained still as he knelt down on the edge of my bed. "I'm your brother. If you can't talk to me, who else can you talk to?"

"Please leave."

"No!" Munkustrap snapped. "Not until you answer me! I deserve an explanation!"

"_I broke his arm!_" I shouted. "And I would've killed him, I think! Can you understand _that_? Can you _understand_ what I just did?"

He was silent save for shallow, nervous breathing. I could picture him, his face screwed up in concentration, struggling to understand what I had said. It was probably a foreign idea to him. He stayed safe within the junkyard and innocent of anything outside of it. I was the one with the urge to explore and I was the one who had seen more things than perhaps I should have. Death and violence wasn't a new discovery to me as it was to him. Of course, there was the fact that I had a violent streak that he lacked.

"What happened?" he asked carefully. I could tell that he was trying to ask it in such a way as to not upset me. I rolled over to finally look him in the eye.

"He was kissing Cassie" I told him slowly. Munkustrap glanced down at the bed with his eyebrows furrowed. He shook his head.

"So?"

"So? She's supposed to be my best friend." Munkustrap shook his head helplessly. "And, we had taken a step beyond just being friends. I had thought that she wanted to be with me, but she was probably just trying to make me feel better." I laughed bitterly. "I don't know if you understand this at all, but I really thought that she and I were going to take a new step in our relationship. Instead, she wanted to be with him more than me."

Instead of answering me with words, Munkustrap bent his head down and pressed his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed, so I reached up and pulled him towards me for a hug. He flopped down beside me, nuzzling my head and shoulders, trying to comfort me like we had done when we were much younger kittens. I sighed heavily and he opened his eyes to look me in the eyes. His dark eyes were surprisingly sad.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," he said softly.

I closed my eyes again, trying to figure out exactly how to handle this situation. I decided to tell him the truth. Maybe then he'd be able to better understand why it had hurt so much when Cassandra betrayed me.

"They didn't want us, you know," I told him.

"Who?" he asked softly.

"Our parents. They never wanted us. We're mistakes."

I opened my eyes to see him shake his head in disbelief. His dark eyes, so expressive and innocent, looked betrayed and hurt. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He shut it and squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

"That's not true," he whispered. "It wasn't that they didn't want us. Grandpa said so. They just… you know…" He trailed off and opened his eyes. The hurt in his eyes didn't stop me from barreling on ahead.

"It is true, Munkustrap," I told him honestly. I suddenly felt ashamed as his eyes began to grow watery with tears. "Why else would we have been left here? Think about it."

He sat up suddenly, brushing the tears from his eyes with hard, frantic swipes. "Why do you hate me?"

"What?" I asked, knowing exactly why he was saying what he was.

"You _hate_ me!" he shouted. "I don't know _why_, but you do!"

My mouth dropped open. So, here it was. This is what he thought of me. He actually thought that I hated him. It wasn't hard to understand why, of course. I couldn't even seem to stop hurting anyone who was stupid enough to try getting close to me. I sighed, more disgusted with myself than him. He had every right to his accusation. Maybe I did hate him a little bit for being the more handsome, sturdy kitten of two parents we had no memories of.

"I don't hate you," I said weakly.

"_Shut up!_ I'm sick of trying to help you! I'm sick of trying to be friends with you and you insulting me and trying to hurt me! All I get is grief for helping you!" He shook his head, backing away. He stumbled over a piece of stray garbage and tumbled to the ground.

I got up and hurried to him. He hung his head, trying to hide his tears. I wasn't sure if they were tears of hate or sadness. I tried to put an arm around his shoulders, but he shrugged me away.

"Stop," he whimpered. "I don't want you to try to make me feel better."

"Please, Munk, I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please listen to me," I pleaded. He looked up at me, but instead giving me a small smile like I'd hoped, his face was granite cold.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"What?"

He pushed me suddenly and, being already off balance, I toppled over. He stood up and glared down at me.

"I knew I was _right_ about you," he hissed. "All you care about is yourself. You're in pain, so you have to try to hurt me, too."

With that, he spun away and ran out. I leapt up and ran to the door.

"Munk! Wait!"

He halted and turned around to glare at me. I felt my blood run cold.

"Don't bother," he growled. "I don't want to have anything more to do with you!"

I watched him storm away, wondering what I was doing to everyone around me.

Cassandra approached me not long after Munkustrap left. Not the greatest timing, but then again, any time she might've chosen to see me would've been the wrong time. I refused to look at her.

"_Please_, Macavity. Please listen to me. You need to understand what happened!" she pleaded. I swallowed.

"What do I _need_ to understand, Cassie? That you were leading me on? Is that what I need to understand? Because I think I understand that much," I growled, still not looking at her. She drew in a shaky breath.

"That's not it at all."

I spun around. She shrunk back, probably remembering what had happened to Alonzo. Not that I could blame her.

"Then what _is_ it? What could you possibly have to _say_ to me!"

She hung her head. "The kiss... it wasn't what you thought it was, Macavity."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... I mean, that I don't have _those_ feelings for you," she whispered. I could tell how hard this was for her to get out, but I didn't care. Once again, I felt that everyone seemed to have little concern as to my needs and feelings.

"Then _why_ did you kiss me like you did? I thought that we..." I trailed off, my anger disappearing. I felt cold and defeated. My head slipped down so that my chin rested on my chest.

"I know, Macavity. I'm sorry. I never _meant_ for you to think that."

"Then why did you kiss me?" I asked, not moving. She began to pace back and forth and I knew she was struggling for an answer that I wanted to hear, much like I had done to my brother only a short time before.

"Because you _needed_ it. Because you needed to know that someone wanted you."

"Only, not _you_, right?"

"Oh, Everlasting Cat, Macavity. I _do_ want you, but not like that. I want you here with me because I love you and you're my best friend. You're my closest friend, but you're not who I need to be with."

"So, who _is_ it that you really care about?" I asked. Without warning, I felt my temper flare up. I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes. She stopped pacing to stare at me. "Do you even care about Alonzo at all or is he also not someone you picture is good for you? Or, is it that you think that nobody will ever be good enough for you?"

"Please, don't. You don't understand what I'm trying to tell you." Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Why are you trying to twist everything I say to you around so that you can hurt me with them? Don't you care that you're hurting me?"

"Do you think I _care_ if you feel sad? Do you even realize what you've done?"

"Macavity, please-"

I stood up suddenly and snapped my arm out to clamp onto her wrist. She let out a nervous gasp as I pulled her tight against me. I could see her swallow hard, as though she was struggling not to cry or reveal how frightened she was fast becoming. Perhaps she had forgotten how easy it was to smell fear.

"I might've _killed_ Alonzo," I growled. "Do you _realize_ that? Do you understand that? Or don't you really care?"

"Stop," she whimpered. I could see her start to wince in pain as I tightened my grip on her wrist.

"Of course," I spat, releasing her wrist and pushing her away from me. She stumbled backwards and tucked her wrist against her body. She rubbed at it, looking sad and hurt.

"You were my friend once," she whispered. "But now that I see the _real_ you, I'm not so sure that I want to be friends with you."

I laughed then. It was colder than I'd ever heard it before. I think we both noticed that. "Go right ahead. I don't need _you_ or anyone. And besides, maybe you can go make a Macavity-hater club or something. Thanks to you, both Munkustrap and Alonzo hate me, too."

"_You_ brought that onto _yourself_," she hissed, standing. "I didn't tell you to act like a _lunatic_ and try to _kill_ him. That's what you are! You're a _horrible_ cat and I can't believe that I ever thought _any_ good could come from you!"

Without thinking, my paw lashed out and slapped her across the face. She reeled backwards and stumbled against the doorway. I almost stepped forward to help her, but one look at her eyes told me to stay put. She lowered her paw from her face after a few seconds and looked down at like she had been expecting blood. Her eyes snapped back up to her face.

"Thanks for proving what a complete bastard you are," she hissed. "I don't blame Munkustrap from thinking you are a lunatic." I opened my mouth to speak, but she shook her head violently. "Just stay the hell away from me, all right?"

She turned and fled from my den. I watched her leave and rush into the young queens' den. The moment she was out of sight, I felt myself grow weak and stumbled back over to my bed.

I had slapped my best friend- a queen, no less!- and now nobody would have anything to do with me. I lowered my head and groaned. I wasn't sure whether to feel angry, sad, or hurt. Maybe I could just stick with feeling all three.

* * *


	3. III

**Chapter Three**

"So, you're not under house arrest anymore?"

"Huh?"

"You can leave the junkyard again, right?"

I finally looked up from my dinner at the fluffy white kitten standing in front of me. Orion looked down at me, his arms crossed over his chest. His white fur shone crisp as snow under the morning sun. I almost wished that my coat was as bright and unusual as his was, instead of the boring, old red mine was. He grinned, revealing two rows of perfectly white teeth.

"I guess so, Ry. How come?" I wondered what he had cooked up this time, starting to feel excitement grow inside of me.

"I thought we could do some exploring," he said.

"Exploring?" I swallowed my last bite of fish and pushed away the bones. "Go on. You've got my attention. Where did you have in mind?"

He gestured for me to lean forward. I did.

"Down by the docks," he whispered.

"_The do-_"

He clapped a paw over my mouth, glaring at me. "_Shh!_ Do you _want_ Old Deuteronomy to find out?"

I shook my head and we stared at one another, each unwilling to give in. He finally removed his paw, rolling in his eyes.

"The docks?" I whispered. "But that's where..." I glanced over my shoulder to make sure that nobody was watching us. "Growltiger lives."

His grin got wider. "Very good, Macavity. Wouldn't it be fun to go exploring down there?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you _trying_ to kill me or something? You know that he wants me dead!"

Orion's confident grin faltered. "Well... I never said that we were going to pick a _fight_ with him or anything. Just explore."

"_Just explore?_"

"Yeah."

I thought about it. If I told myself that we were just exploring, it didn't sound so bad, but I knew my friend well enough to know that the theoretically flawless plan would surly backfire. His plans usually did. In fact, it was almost a natural law that any of Orion's "plans" would backfire.

On the other paw, I did have a reputation to uphold. Tugger was fast becoming the ladies' tom and Munkustrap... _well_, Munkustrap was the strong, quiet, responsible one. I just naturally seemed to fall into the category of troublemaker. And Orion was my right hand tom. I knew that if he suggested something this daring, I'd better take him up on it or else risk losing my reputation.

"All right," I sighed. "When?"

He leaned forward. "Tonight. Meet me by the tire. Then we'll sneak out."

I hesitated. "What about Old Deuteronomy? What if-"

"What about him? We're Macavity and Orion, remember? If we don't want to get caught, then it's that simple. We _won't_ get caught."

He was right. Whenever something bad happened, we were usually prime suspects, but nobody could ever find any evidence that we did anything. It drove Aunt Jenny absolutely crazy whenever that happened.

"You're on, Ry."

He laughed and tackled me to the ground.

* * *

I glanced at Orion nervously, but he gave me a cocky grin instead of looking even remotely concerned. He stood on his tiptoes and peered over the cardboard box we were hiding behind. He ducked back down and gave me a huge grin.

"Coast's clear," he whispered.

"Are you _sure_?"

"_Positive_. Old D's sound asleep and none of the other adults are even outside tonight."

I scowled at the sky. "That's because it's so nasty outside. Nobody in their right mind is outside tonight. Maybe we should do this when it's nice outside."

He shook his head quickly. "No. If we do that, you'll find a way to back out."

"_Me?_ Back out? _No_. I'm not trying to back out."

Orion raised an eyebrow. "Oh, please, Mac. I don't think you're scared, but I do know that you really don't want to do this."

"That's not it," I murmured.

"Then what is it?"

"Damn it, Ry," I hissed. "Would you just _drop it_ already? I _said_ I'd do this with you and I am, so _just shut up already!_"

He licked his lips and turned away, pretending to still be making sure everything was safe. I could see that he was angry with me and didn't want to blow up and start a fight with me. I wasn't sure precisely why he was refusing to say that he was mad, normally he would just tackle me to the ground and punch any bit of fur that was available, but I guessed it was a combination of not wanting to get caught out past curfew, not wanting to get into a fight right before our "mission," and maybe just a twinge of fear that I would go totally berserk like I did with Alonzo. I sighed and looked down at the ground, waiting for him to calm himself down. Finally, he got back down from his perch on the edge of the box and nodded.

"Let's go then. If we don't do it now, we're gonna get caught."

"Fine," I replied shortly.

We snuck forward. For once, I was glad that I had darker fur. Orion stuck out like a sore thumb in the dark of the night. I was worried that someone would see his coat in the moonlight and catch us.

"What are you guys doing?"

We spun around guiltily, thinking it was an adult coming to scold and punish us. I ran my paws through the fur on the top of head, in a bad habit I'd acquired when I was nervous or frightened. It made the fur on my head stand straight on end instead of resting neatly against my body like poor Aunt Jenny tried to force it to do.

Instead, a very sleepy looking Tugger stood behind us. He was trying to rub the sleep from his eyes while stifling a yawn. I had to admire his valiant efforts not to look like a little kitten, but they really weren't working.

"Where are you going?" he asked, finally blinking himself awake. He glanced between the two of us and must've noticed how stiffly we were standing or how my fur was now standing out all around my head from being nervously combed through by my paws. Knowing me better than most of the other cats in the junkyard, Tugger's face went from merely curious to slightly anxious.

"Nowhere, Tug. Go back to bed," Orion replied, glancing at me nervously.

I caught his eye and knew the exact same thing was running through both of our minds. What would happen if Tugger decided to call out for an adult? What happened if my little brother decided to tattle on us and the whole thing blew up right in our faces? I swallowed nervously before facing my brother again. I tried to force a smile, knowing full well that he wasn't going to be fooled by it.

"What are you doing?" Tugger asked again, his voice becoming a little strained and his body showing tell tale signs of being ready to bolt for help. "You're not _leaving_ the junkyard this late at night, are you? You know that even if you don't get caught, you might get hurt."

"Don't worry about it." I took a step towards him and reached out a paw. He eyed me warily for a moment before reaching out his own to touch mine. He looked back up at me, eyes searching mine desperately for a way to get me to stay without getting himself into trouble with us. The guilt I felt when I met his eyes was almost enough to turn to Orion and tell him that this whole thing was off and that I was going back to bed. Instead, I pulled away from my little brother to stand back next to my best friend.

"Go back to bed," I told him. He shook his head slightly. "_Yes_, Tugger. Do it right now or else… well, I'm going to…"

"Are you _threatening_ _me?_" he asked in disbelief. I wanted to shake my head, laugh, and tell him that this was all just a joke, but Orion nudged my side ever so slightly and I narrowed my eyes instead.

"I guess so," I said softly. "Get inside."

Tugger's mouth opened in disbelief and snapped shut again. I didn't blame him. Tugger was my favorite little brother (even though, admittedly, I only had two) and although we had our typical little spats every so often, we had never actually had any kind of major fights like I had with Munkustrap. As far as brothers went, we were probably the closest two in the junkyard. I loved my little brother unconditionally and it probably stung to hear me say that I was sinking so low as to threaten him. I glanced away from his hurt gaze.

"Macavity, are you going somewhere where you _shouldn't_ be going?" he asked. Now I could clearly hear the fear in his voice. "_Please_ don't do anything you shouldn't be doing. You aren't going down to the docks, _are you?_"

"_No_," I answered simply.

Tugger glanced around, looking as though he was searching feverishly for help. After a couple scans of the junkyard, he looked back at me and let his shoulders slump down in defeat.

"I'm not going to be able to stop you even if I really want to, am I?" he asked quietly. I shook my head.

"No, Tugger."

He swallowed roughly and looked down at the ground. I could tell he was struggling not to cry. Despite the fact that we all liked to parade around as big, strong toms, we were still just kittens. I knew that he would hate me if I made him cry, so I reached out again and bumped my paw playfully against his chin. Tugger didn't move, so I tried it a second time. This time, he swatted me away, finally looking back up. I could see that he had managed to get his tears back under control again.

I smiled at him. "Don't _worry_, Tugger. I'll be back before morning. Nobody will even know that we left." He shrugged, looking very unconvinced. "I promise that _you_ won't get into any trouble."

"_I don't care about_ _that_." He looked away again, back up at the big tire where our grandfather usually kept careful watch over the junkyard. I could almost hear him wishing that he would come out right this minute and put a stop to all of this. Tugger swallowed again and looked back at me. "What am I supposed to say when the adults asked where you went?"

"Tugger…" His expression went from distressed to stubborn in a heartbeat. I shrugged. "I don't care. They won't care where I went and, like I said, we'll be back before anyone even notices that we're gone."

Tugger nodded once more and turned on his heel. I almost reached out again to comfort him, but Orion's paw closed around my wrist and gave a slight tug. I could tell that he was becoming anxious to leave. I tugged back and Orion stood still as we watched Tugger slip back into his den, turn around in a couple circles, and slump down onto his bedding. We could all see one another clearly, even with Tugger down in his bed.

My brother and I kept eye contact with one another for a few more moments before he closed his eyes and turned his head so that he wasn't facing directly towards me anymore. His head sagged down onto his bedding and I finally turned to Orion.

"Come on," I said softly.

I glanced one more time at Tugger, feeling supremely guilty about what had just happened. Still, how was I to know that was the last time we would saw each other as kittens?

**

* * *

**I was shivering. Orion was shivering. I wanted to go back to the junkyard and I bet he did, too, but neither of us wanted to admit it. It seemed to be the unspoken law that whoever said that they wanted to go home first was the coward and, despite our friendship, this was one thing that I'd never let Orion win.

"You cold?"

"No. _You?_"

"Nope."

"Sure about that?"

"Just as sure as _you_ are."

"Good."

Orion was tracing little circles into the dirt with his fore claw. I focused my eyes carefully on what he was drawing before realizing that he wasn't actually drawing anything in particular. He was probably just trying to figure out some way to keep his mind off of how cold he was.

Even though I was usually jealous of how bright and unique Orion's white coat was I had to admit that tonight I was definitely not. Unlike the unruly mane of fur that I had, Orion's fur was neat and tidy, despite most of the trials he put it through. This was mostly due to the fact that because his fur was so thinly spaced over his body and looked limp whenever it grew too long, Aunt Jenny and Aunt Jelly always made sure to keep it trimmed short. Even if his fur had been grown out long, like mine was, it wouldn't have offered him much protection against the wind tonight.

I looked away from Orion's drawings in the dirt and stared up at the dimly lit warehouse.

_This is so stupid_, I thought. _I'm not going to sit here freezing my tail off or let Orion freeze to death just because we've come this far just to sit and stare up at this stupid building._

"Let's go explore the warehouse," I suggested. Orion's head jerked up, eyes widening in surprise. I could tell in that first instant that he was frightened. I admired how quickly his look of fear turned into a look of concern. A look of concern for me, of course.

"Are you_ sure_?"

"_Positive_. It'll be warmer than sitting here and looking at you."

"I'll bet," he snickered. "But, I'm so pretty, how could you not be warmed through and through by just looking at me?" He made kissing noises and I swatted at him. He rolled back, giggling. I shook my head as he smudged his drawing and streaked his coat with dirt.

"You're an _idiot_, you do know that, right?"

"Well, you hang out with me, so wouldn't that make _you_ kind of an idiot, too?" He put his paws on his hips, trying to look as serious as he could manage.

"Oh, shut up," I grumbled, rolling my eyes.

"_Ah ha!_ It's true," he laughed and stood up. Giving me a punch on the arm as he passed me, he trotted away towards the building.

I almost had to run to catch up with him. Aunt Jenny said that with my bone structure, I'd probably end up being one of the tallest Jellicles in the junkyard by the time I grew up. Of course, that didn't help the fact that I was still shorter and much slimmer than Orion. Being the gracious tom that he was, he used every single opportunity to point that out, even if it was only by walking with a greater stride than mine so that I had to hurry to keep up with him.

We started to creep towards the back entrance of the old building when the front door was flung open. The sudden bright light hurt my eyes and I raised my arm to shield them against it. I could feel Orion back up against me, obviously thrown off by this unexpected, new development. I couldn't tell if the shivering I felt when his body touched mine was due to the wind or the unwelcoming glares of the cats staring at us.

"_Boss_," the silhouetted tom shouted back into the warehouse. "There're some kittens out here!"

Orion stared back up at him, dumbfounded. I clamped my paw around his upper arm and tugged him roughly backwards. He stumbled back, stepping on my paws as he did, and cast a horrified look at me. This was definitely not what he had planned on. I didn't need to say anything to him as I pulled him back. We both knew that our little exploratory expedition had suddenly become a rescue mission with us being the ones needing rescuing.

I stopped dead in my tracks, though, when I saw _him_ storm out in the wind and rain. _Growltiger_.

"It's that worthless kitten, _Macavity_," he growled angrily.

Before I could move, he strode forward, reached down over the top of me, and yanked me forward by the fur on the back of my neck. My body knocked Orion down onto the damp ground as Growltiger hauled me forwards then up so that he could look me right in the eye. I felt my body go rigid in fear.

"Looks like you decided to make it easy on me and just come here on your own, huh?" he snarled. "What's with the other kit?"

He nodded to Orion, who stared up at me in abject terror. The moment two toms grabbed hold of his arms and jerked him roughly to his feet, I felt adrenaline rush through my veins and jump start my body into gear again. I lashed out viciously, frustrated that my arms and legs weren't long enough to do much harm.

"_Let him go!_ He's not the one you want!" I growled.

Growltiger stared at me mildly for a second then flung me to the ground. My head thumped solidly against the ground and I bit into my tongue. I should've cried out in pain, but with the threat to my friend, I hardly noticed the blood leaking out of my mouth.

"No," he said, grabbing my scruff again and dragging me to my feet. I dragged my claws into the ground to make it harder for him to pick me up again. "You're right. I have no use for your friend, but he's here and I can't let him go running off and _tattling_ to the Jellicles, now can I?"

I glared mutely at him, flexing my claws in what I hoped was a menacing way.

"After I kill _you_, I'll have to kill _him_, too. No witnesses. Surely you understand that." I struggled to punch him, but he pretty effortlessly held me back at a safe distance. He waited until I had stopped before going on. "Or should I kill _him_ first? Make you watch your friend die?"

"_Let him go!_"

Growltiger laughed. "All right. You don't have to _shout_." He nodded back to the other toms. "Let him go."

"Boss?"

One of the toms holding onto Orion's arms looked as though his boss had gone completely mad. I couldn't blame him. I wondered what the pirate tom was up to. I glanced at Orion and gave him what I hoped was a comforting look.

"Into the sea. Drop him over the side of the dock."

Orion's mouth dropped open and his eyes search mine frantically. He barely fought against the toms as they hoisted him up and began to carry him over to the dock. I tried briefly to fight my way towards him and when he saw me, he sprang back to life. Without any words, he began to kick and lash at the toms who were dragging him towards the edge of the dock. They had a little more trouble now that he was fighting them, but not enough that Orion could get away. I spun back towards Growltiger, knowing that the only hope I had left was to beg and plead for Orion's life.

"_Don't!_" I screamed. He tilted his head in mock sympathy and nodded as though he was trying to hear my case and help me. I felt tears spring to my eyes. "Don't kill him. _Please_. He hasn't done anything to you and he won't. _I promise._ I'll _make_ him promise not to tell anyone where we went. I swear. Just let him go. You can do whatever you want to me, _just don't hurt him_."

"Tough luck, kid," Growltiger laughed. I wrenched back around to look at my friend and Orion was suddenly pitched forward into the dark water below.

I screamed in disbelief as his face disappeared from view in one instant. I struggled towards him again and felt myself snapped back. This time, instead of trying to use any kind of civilized form of bargaining, I lashed out with everything in my body. I felt my arms and legs extend themselves beyond what I was aware they could do and almost laughed in satisfaction when I felt one of my paws connect solidly with flesh. I could feel my claws rake into it and started to aim again at the same spot, only before I could, something heavy and hard slammed against the side of my head as Growltiger let out a yowl of pain.

My body was thrown down to the ground once more and I felt a heavy paw come to land down on the middle of my chest. Squinting upwards, I could see him glowering down at me, claws glinting in the backlight of the warehouse.

"Growltiger, _what_ are you doing?"

The big tom turned his head to look back at the warehouse, his expression looking almost guilty. I felt my jaw drop at the sight of the beautiful, white furred queen.

We had pretty queens back at the junkyard but none that were as beautiful as her. She wasn't very old either. More than a few years older than I was, but still pretty young. Standing with her paws crossed over her full chest, her tail twitching in faint annoyance, and her large, beautiful eyes fiery, she almost made me forget to breathe. Growltiger quickly took on an annoyed look himself.

"_Griddlebone!_ Go back inside. This isn't business for a _queen!_" he snapped. She gave him a haughty look, tossing her mounds of thick white fur off of her forehead. I felt my breath quicken a little more and my heart was fairly thudding in my chest. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of these sudden, completely inappropriate feelings. I had just witnessed the death of my best friend, was facing my own death, and all I could think about was how good looking some queen was?

"Are you going to go and kill that kitten, Growltiger? Well, I've seen you do it before. Don't worry about me, _dear_."

Angry with her now, not to mention me, he grabbed the back of my neck hard enough to draw blood. The queen winced momentarily then glared angrily at him. I had the feeling that I was suddenly no longer simply a personal nuisance to Growltiger, but now also a pawn to be used against the pretty queen he obviously had some kind of relationship with. Once more, a kind of bizarre anger flared in me. Not even my own _death_ was about me.

Suddenly, I felt myself being spun around and closed my eyes to keep from becoming dizzy. I didn't know why. I knew what was awaiting me, so what was the point in keeping from a little dizziness?

I struggled to keep my footing as Growltiger hauled me forward. He stopped suddenly at the edge of the dock and spun me back around to face the queen. I met her eyes and she blushed a little. That, needless to say, surprised me. I wasn't sure if she were embarrassed from the fact that she realized that she was using me to help punish her mate or from the fact that she saw me giving her a last, hard look, trying to memorize her every curve. It wouldn't hurt to have something good to focus on while the water filled my lungs.

"Take a _good look_, Grid," he said. "It's the last you're going to get."

For a moment, nobody dared to move. The pretty queen drew in a breath and narrowed her eyes again. I knew what that meant. She seemed to have gotten over her guilt. Then the world whirled in a blur of foggy colors.

I felt a choked cry escape from my throat as I plunged off the edge of the dock. For an instant, I felt frozen in air and didn't think that I would actually fall. I could fly away if I chose to. Then, cold air rushed around me and I crashed into the black water below.

The shock of the icy water took my breath away. I plunged down into it, watching as the black water rushed around my face and eyes. I didn't move for a few moments, too shocked and cold to be able to. Thousands of needles felt like they were piercing through my fur and into my skin. Then, frantically, I flailed my arms and kicked my legs, trying to push myself up out of the water.

When I finally managed to break the surface, I took a gasping breath then sunk back under the water. I forgot myself and tried to scream. The icy water flooded into my mouth and into my lungs and stomach. The needles flooded through my body, stabbing into my stomach and throat. It burned enough to make me try to scream again.

Suddenly, I felt a paw grab onto the fur on the top of my head and I was jerked upwards. I gasped frantically and kicked for all I was worth to stay out the water as best I could. The paw released my fur and before I could sink, I felt an arm wrap around my middle and drag me backwards. I almost panicked, thinking some horrible water creature was about to drag me under for a quick meal. Something closed over my mouth before I could scream again and I slumped back against it. What was the point in fighting?

"_Macavity?_" a voice breathed at the point where I could just barely hear my name. I sagged a little more before stiffening. I glanced over my shoulder and my eyes widened in surprise. My mouth was released.

"_Orion?_" I choked out as I stared at his damp face. He smiled grimly.

"Hold onto this," he said, thrusting me towards one of the thick beams under the dock. "_And don't say anything_."

I wrapped my arms around the thick pole as best I could and listened. The toms on the dock were roaring with laughter at their triumph over a couple of kittens. I seethed angrily, but gritted my teeth and resorted to glaring at the boards above me. After a little while, their voices grew silent and I heard them tramp back into the warehouse. A moment later, the bright lights blinked out and the two of us were left alone in the moonlight.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't stop them from tossing you over the edge of the dock. I tried to help, but…" My voice trailed off. I swallowed. "Ry?"

He didn't move. His arms were weakly clutching at the pole and he was awfully low in the water. His eyelids were half shut and I could barely see his breath in the pale light. I moved my body closer to his, pressing up alongside him.

"_Orion!_ Answer me!" I said a little louder, giving him a firm shake. He gave a startled jerk, as though he had dozed off with his eyes still open. His eyes turned slowly towards my face and seemed to move as though they were locked in slow motion. His eyes were too blue against his pale skin surrounding them.

"I'm so _cold_," he said through chattering teeth. He panted a little and shut his eyes fully. "I... I can't feel my _legs_... and my arms are so _cold_..."

I circled my arm around him so that I was holding onto the pole on either side of him. Wrapped around him, my own body began to shake from the force of his shivering. I alternated paws as I rubbed frantically at his arms. I tried to keep myself pressed against him as much as possible, but the current of the water kept forcing us apart. I tucked my head down against the nape of his neck.

"I can't hold on anymore," he whispered. "My paws won't work."

"We'll just swim over to the shore," I said desperately. "We'll get over there and we'll find someplace to warm you up. You'll be fine, Orion. You just have to hang in there for a little while longer, all right? I just have to figure out which shore is closer." I blinked my eyes. "They keep moving on me."

"Neither of us can swim," he reminded me. I fell silent. His body was slowly beginning to shiver less and less.

"Is this how we're going to die?" he asked me after a long while.

I whimpered. "No, don't say that."

"_Is it?_"

"I don't know."

* * *

An hour passed then two. Soon the dark of night began to melt away as the first rays of morning sunlight cracked through it.

Orion had gone silent long before. I had turned him around in the water so that I could make sure that he was breathing. Once his breath became too shallow to show in the frigid night air, I kept pressing my cheek to his mouth to make sure that there was still breath coming from his body. Soon, my body had grown so cold and numb that movement was limited. I kept my cheek close to his mouth at all times now, my eyes shut and my mind barely registering when Orion did breathe. If he still did.

Sound distorted in my eyes, I heard loud, demonic pounding on the dock above me. My eyes cracked open and I struggled to look up.

"Dad! _Look!_"

A second thudding thundered above us. I could feel the vibrations deeps in my bones. "What, Nick?" A pause. "Oh, _Jesus_. Quick, Nick, go get something to fish 'em out."

"_What?_"

"I don't know. _Something_. And hurry."

A couple of minutes passed, maybe more and maybe less. Suddenly, I felt something scoop me from underneath. Orion's rigid body crashed into mine as we were ensnared in the net. We were pulled out of the water and back up onto the dock.

Something thick was wrapped around my body. Noticing that Orion was being wrapped in one of those things that the humans called a coat, that's what I figured was happening to me. Two strong human hands lifted me and I felt my own fur being rubbed dry.

"What were they doing in the water?"

"I dunno. Lucky we came along when we did, huh, Nick?"

The younger human voice didn't answer. It pressed a finger against Orion's mouth and held it there for a long time. Finally, it drew away from his face.

"Well, this one's still alive. Barely. How about yours, Dad?"

I felt a human hand itch under my chin. I had never felt the touch of a human before and immediately felt terror rush through me. After everything we had been through, we were going to die at the hands of some humans? I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Come on, little guy," the human coaxed and itched at my chest and down onto my belly. I felt my breath catch in my throat and did the only thing I could think to do. I lashed out with everything I had, which wasn't very much. I heard the deep rumbling laughter of the human holding onto me.

"Yeah. Looks like it."

Suddenly, I felt air rush around me and knew I was high up in the air again. I tensed and prepared to be flung down again. I wanted to hiss and scratch, but all I could manage was a weak mew of protest. At that moment, my body was rushed in another direction and felt myself being pressed tight against something hard, solid, and warm. I cracked my eyes open when I heard the steady thumping of a heartbeat. I was being cradled against the human's chest like an infant.

I blinked, very much startled. All of the adults at the junkyard had told nothing but horror stories about these human creatures. I didn't think they would even be capable hugging or showing any love towards us. I decided to ignore Aunt Jenny's warnings and slumped against the human and shut my eyes, too tired to care anymore if the human was intending on hurting or healing me.

"Let's get them home to your mother and sister."

The younger human laughed. "This'll be a challenge for Allie if ever I saw one."

"Quick, though. While the little white one is still alive."

_Orion_, I thought before I fell into a deep sleep.


	4. IV

**Chapter Four**

I don't know when I awoke next.

When I did, I really wished that I hadn't. My entire body, from my head down to the ends of each of my paws, felt like stiff, unbendable lead. I tried flexing each major muscle group to wake myself up and only found pain and a renewed ache from that area. With a moan of discomfort, I opened my eyes slowly and stared straight up above me.

The ceiling was high and made of wood.

Not the kind of tossed together wood and string where the youngest of kittens were kept until they could be moved out of the nursery and into their parents' lodgings. Unless, of course, they were orphans, in which case, they would go to live with my Aunt Jenny or my Aunt Jelly. Aunt Jelly's only son, Asparagus Jr., was already grown and spent most of his time with his grandfather, Gus, who happened to be in the theater business. Aunt Jenny and Uncle Skimbleshanks had been trying for years to become pregnant, but nobody said much about that. They would only say how good Aunt Jenny was to take in stray, lost kittens and raise them as her very own.

Feeling a little bit more courageous, I sat up. I half expected Tugger to come barreling in with some new toy he'd discovered or to hear Jennyanydots scold me for oversleeping again, but of course, that didn't happen. I didn't know when that would ever happen again. For all I knew, I could be trapped here forever. I glanced around in worry, wondering who the humans were who saved me and if I could slip past them.

In front of me, a cozy fire was blazing. I felt the muscles in my body began to ease with steady crackling and popping of the flames. It was comforting and some of my worries slid away as I let my eyes drift lazily along each crest and fall of fire. I smiled contentedly and wrapped my arms around my legs, drawing them up to my chest. I rested my chin on my knees and let my eyes slide halfway shut.

"So, you're up, are you?"

My ears were the first to perk up and they snapped the rest of my body to attention. I only moved my head towards the sound of the voice, but kept flexing my claws, just in case there was a threat. I wasn't surprised to find that there wasn't much threat, or, at least, that it was cleverly masked.

"Who are you?" I countered.

I watched carefully as the old tom walked forward. He didn't seem very worried at all that I looked tense and ready to attack. In fact, he gave me a faint smile and sat down in front of the fire, not even facing me. I continued to watch him, but continued to stare into the flames as though I wasn't even there.

"For a scraggly, fuzz ball of a kitten, you're awfully straightforward, aren't you?" he asked. I was so surprised that I could only shrug, even though I know he wasn't looking at me. "You're just lucky that the humans found you when they did. Otherwise, you would have been an icicle."

"_Orion!_" I cried suddenly, scrambling to my feet and ignoring the groaning protests of my body. "Where is he?"

The old tom glanced over his shoulder. "Who?"

"_My friend!_ Where is he?"

"The little white scrap of a tom?" the old tom asked raising his eyebrow.

I glared at him. "His name is Orion."

The old tom shrugged and gazed back at the fire. "Upstairs. They're keeping a careful eye on that one."

"I want to see him," I said stubbornly, not even very sure that I did.

The tom stood. "Follow me. And don't go and _get lost_. I don't want to go _hunting_ for a lost kitten. I'm not as young as I used to be and I have _better things_ to be doing with my time."

Feeling my stomach twisting into knots, I followed closely after him. The old tom continued to lecture me, drifting off into new tangents every so often while I worried about Orion. Having been raised by one of the most competent Jellicle nurses in our Tribe, I knew a few things about being in cold water for too long that I was beginning to wish that I didn't know. My stomach began to twist itself into knots and I placed a paw over the top of it, struggling to stay calm.

The old tom stopped abruptly and I nearly slammed into him. I took a step back as he turned to face me. His face had hardened considerably and I felt my mouth go dry with sudden fear. I took a step back, away from him. He took hold of my arm and dragged me close to him, just inside the room where I knew Orion was.

"Now, don't you be loud or anything while you're in there. The kit's probably not even awake yet. And if he is, then I've_ seen everything_ and I can die now."

I entered the dimly lit room slowly. There were tables and chairs arranged around in the room in a very organized manner. Personally, I couldn't see what the point of placing them so far apart was- you couldn't easily hop from one to the other. There baskets filled with yarns and fabrics, too. If I weren't feeling so devastated, I would've been in kitten heaven. Then I noticed that one of the baskets looked as though it had been cleared out. Feeling my heart begin to thud heavier, I approached the basket.

I let out a muffled whimper as I approached the edge of the basket and covered my mouth with my paw to stifle any more. Orion was wrapped in towels that were nearly the same color of white as his coat. His eyes were closed, but at least he didn't look like he was in any pain. At least, I think didn't think he did, but I could've been wrong. I had learned a lot from Aunt Jenny, both through watching her work and through our occasional lessons, but I certainly wasn't a Healer or anything.

Orion moaned a little bit, then snuggled deeper down into the thick white towels. I waited for him to wake and take notice of me, but he didn't. His brow wrinkled as though he were having a nightmare then smoothed out again. His body, usually so strong and muscular, looked so frail and beaten down in that little basket. I chewed on my lower lip nervously until I could taste blood.

"Well, is this what you expected to see?"

"Is... is he going to die?" I asked softly, not looking at the old tom.

"I shouldn't think so. He's just got a bad case of hypothermia and is awfully exhausted, but he looks like he's out of the woods. I don't suspect that he'll be waking up for another couple of days, though."

"You don't?" I asked in dismay and stretched out of my arm to touch my paw gently against Orion's. I turned back around, ready to leave. The old tom was seated and watching me intently. I backed against the basket. "_What?_"

"Who are your parents, lad? You look _very_ familiar to me. As if I've seen you before or at least someone that looks like you."

I blushed as much as a red-furred tom-kitten could blush and looked away. "I don't know exactly. No one has ever told me."

The old tom shook his head. "That's a shame. Toms and queens are running around and having so many kittens that no one can even keep straight which kitten belongs with which set of parents. If there even _is_ a set of parents. I'm amazed that anyone even knows who their parents are these days. In _my_ day, we had _one_ mate and that was _that_. You had kittens with your queen and only if one of you died did you go and get a new mate. And by then, everyone was too old to want to go capering around and making more kittens. You'd be surprised how tiring making kittens can be when you're old."

I didn't say anything for a while. The tom slipped into thoughts concerning this matter which seemed to bother him greatly. After a while, I sat down and rested the back of my head against Orion's basket. My movement jerked him out of his thoughts and he looked over at me.

"What's your name?"

"Macavity." I tugged on the tip of my tail self-consciously. I caught his eye. "What's yours?"

The old tom slapped his forehead. "_Of course!_ I knew that I forgot something. This old mind ain't what it was, that's for sure. Nothing is. Right, my name. My name's Ira. Let's see here... what _else_ do you need to know? Oh, yes. You've been here for about two days and the female humans have been doting on the two of you like you were their own kittens. No, that's not right. I mean... uh... children. That's the right word. These humans make up the oddest words, I swear. If _I _were in charge of their language, I'd throw away almost _all_ of their words."

I got back up, Ira's words still washing over me in a continuous shower, and looked down at Orion again. He had rolled over and looked peaceful. I still felt horrible. I knew that this was in some way my fault. I couldn't exactly pin down how, but I knew that it was. I yawned and leaned against the side of the basket. I felt a paw on my shoulder. Ira was standing over me.

"C'mon, lad. You should go back to sleep. You can tell me all of what happened when you wake back up again. We'll have a nice, long talk when you do. I'll tell you all about this house and the humans and you can tell me about yourself. Maybe I'll even tell you some stories about when I was a kit. I have some pretty incredible stories about the Pollicles around here. Did you know that most of the Pols around here fear me because I could kick that Doberman's tail when I was young. Don't know if I could do now, though."

I allowed myself to be led back to the bed that had been made up for me in front of the fire. I curled into a ball on it and was soon asleep again.

* * *

I awoke later, smelling something unpleasant. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and started to roll over to escape the horrible smell. A low growl froze me in my position. My eyes snapped open and I stared silently at the eyes watching me.

Then, letting out a blood curdling yowl which I hoped would scare it away, I leapt out of my bed. Hissing, I backed away and extended my claws. The creature growled viscously and I felt the fur along the back of my neck rise up.

"_OK!_ That's _enough_ of that!"

I felt a strong hand scoop me up off the ground and I was again high in the air in the arms of a human. This time, I didn't try to squirm or try to get away. The evil creature was down there after all and there was little chance I'd willingly go back down there.

"Go on, Smoky. Leave the kittens alone."

Smoky, my now named adversary, growled again, scowled, and trotted away. After a moment, I was set back down on the floor. I felt the hand run down my back then scratch behind my ears. Figuring it would make the human go away, I purred softly. It seemed to do the trick since the human left.

"I see you've met the Pollicle."

I turned to see Ira walk in, his dull coat even dustier and more tangled than before. He smiled crookedly then sat down heavily in front of the fire. I walked over and sat down next to him.

"_That_ was a Pollicle?"

His mouth dropped open and he stared at me in disbelief. "You don't know what a _Pollicle_ is? What is the world coming to when a tom cat doesn't even _know_ what a _Pollicle_ is!"

"I _know_," I replied quickly, hoping to cut off a long rant about the state of young toms nowadays or whatever it was that he was going to share with me.. "I've just never _seen_ one before."

"Really? Then, you're not a stray, huh?"

I shook my head. "Not technically. I live in the junkyard, but not with any humans." I paused. "Does that me a stray?"

"I don't think so," he said. He smiled again. "Besides, I think that maybe you'll become a housecat. The humans really seem to enjoy you."

"What? No. Not _me_. Besides, what about my family?"

"Who's your family?"

"At the junkyard. My aunts and my grandfather. And my little brothers."

Ira thought a moment. "Which junkyard are you from?"

"The one near the humans' really big road."

"Their Main Street, you mean?"

"Yeah."

He itched his head thoughtfully. "What's your grandfather's name?"

"Deuteronomy. Do you know him?"

Ira nodded. "Old D? 'course I know him. Fine tom. Very regal. I remember when we were young toms, we'd terrorize the neighborhood Pols, him and me. None of the humans knew what to do with us. But, then he found that pretty little queen, fell in love- like a fairy tale, it was- and made a litter of kittens. After that, he got serious and now he hardly ever comes around. Too much responsibility, I guess. But, then again, he _is_ the leader of the Jellicles and that _does_ mean a lot of work. Don't know if I'd want to be in his place. What with the strays and the cursed Pollicles always going after the kittens and all." He pointed at me. "Which child of his is your mother?"

I hesitated. "I don't know. And I thought I already told you that."

He shrugged. "Maybe. _Maybe_. Well... Who are your aunts? If he only had the three that I can remember, then I figure I'll be able to tell you who your mother is. I've always been good at things like this."

I hesitated again. I didn't want him to tell me so matter-of-factly. Seeing that he was so determined, I agreed to do it. I figured that he's end up badgering me until he got what he wanted and I could stand listening to him chatter on and on, but I would go crazy listening to him pressing me constantly for my aunts' names.

"Jennyanydots and Jellylorum."

He tapped his chin thoughfully, looking off into the distance a little bit. "_Huh_."

"What do you mean, '_huh'_?" I asked. "What does that _mean?_"

"I didn't realize that she had _had_ any kittens," Ira snapped, giving me a dirty look, perhaps for being so impatient. You'd think, of everyone I knew, that he would be the best able to understand impatience. "I always thought that she would've been too busy to even _want_ kittens."

"_Who? What's her name?_" I was having trouble not jumping on Ira and throttling him right then and there.

"Grizabella," he said slowly, still distracted by his thoughts. "Deuteronomy's eldest child. A pretty little kitten, she was."

I swallowed. "Grizabella? _The Glamour Cat? _The queen that left the junkyard to go performing at nightclubs? _Her?_"

"Yeah, _her._ You wanted to know, right?"

"What? Oh. Yes, I did. Could you excuse me?"

"Certainly."

I stood and dragged myself out of the room. Once I was out, I found a window and perched myself on it. Watching the outside world bustle by, I sighed heavily and leaned my forehead against the cool glass.

_You did want to know_, I reminded myself. _And it wasn't so bad, was it?_

It wasn't like I was the son of a criminal or a murderer or something. Just an actress. And that wasn't bad at all. I wondered exactly what she was doing right then. Thinking about me? Not likely. I could hope, though. Now that I knew she was my mother, I imagined that she thought about me constantly, even if I knew that it wasn't true.

I must've fallen asleep because when I awoke later, I found myself back in my basket.

* * *

I wandered through the parlor, the human's entertaining room Ira had explained. They apparently poured flower juice- or perfume, as Ira called it- all over themselves and then would sit around laughing at stupid things. That crazy Pollicle wasn't allowed in here, which only sweetened it when I ran in here to hide. Most of the time ole Smoky would growl and bark in the doorway for a few minutes then become disgusted and storm away. It was literally sweet, too, since there was always candy in the little glass bowls on the top of the tables.

I flopped down underneath one of the armchairs and began to groom my coat. Not that I had too much work to do. It wasn't dusty at all in here and I hadn't had the opportunity to really dirty myself since I had yet to discover a way outside. It wasn't so bad, though. They kept my food bowl full, the water was crystal clear, and it was _always_ warm in here. Still, I was _not_ becoming a housecat.

Ira marched into the room, a determined expression those old cat features. I allowed myself a tiny smile when he scanned the room and looked positively triumphant to find me in it.

"Hello, Macavity!"

"Hi, Ira," I replied, giving him a playfully suspicious look. "Why are _you_ so happy? The humans get rid of the Pollicle?"

"Unfortunately, no. They're keeping it around. Everlasting Cat knows why. The creature serves absolutely no purpose. Not like us. We're worth _something_, cats are. All it really does is eat, sleep, and poop. And _bark_, too. And really loud at that. How could you live a life like that? I couldn't. I'd honestly die of boredom. Pollicles must-"

"_IRA!_ I thought that you had something to tell me! Spit it out already!"

He scowled and ran his claws through his whiskers. I knew that he had been hoping to smooth them down, but instead they shot out in all directions anyways. I grinned at him and Ira rolled his eyes indulgently. "Honestly, you kittens these days are _impatient_. You know, you ought to take life slow and enjoy it. You'll be old someday, _old like me_, and you'll regret rushing through everything when you were young." He looked at me as if he expected me to debate with him about this. I didn't bother. Every debate I tried to hold with him, I lost. Maybe my debating skills were getting better, but Ira sure knew how to talk the wind out of someone.

I was also picking up some of his expressions.

"Well, since I wasn't allowed to lead up to it properly, what with you _snapping_ at me, I'll just come right out and say it. Your friend is finally awake."

I jumped to my feet, almost tripping over my tail in the process. "_Orion's awake?_ Is he OK? What-"

"Why don't you just go on up and see for yourself? I don't imagine that you'll get the answers you want out of me."

With a considerable lack of grace, I trampled out of the parlor and went flying into the sewing room- which was what Ira said that the humans called it- and skidded to a halt. Orion, who was sitting up weakly in his bed, looked at me sharply and jerked back a little bit.

"Ry! You're awake! How are you feeling?"

He regarded me cautiously. "Better, I guess. Don't run in here like that. You scared the kitty litter out of me."

I bounded to the bed and leaped in. His eyes widened in surprise. "Sorry. I'm just so glad that you're awake again.

"How long was I out of it for?"

"About a week and a half. Almost two."

"Wow," he breathed. He looked around again. "Where are we?"

"Human house. But now that you're up again, we can go back home." I leaned back and nestled comfortably into the blankets in his basket. "I guess Jennyanydots is going to explode when she finds out what happened to us, but she'll be happy enough that we're safe that she might even let us live afterwards."

"_Jennyanydots?_"

I looked at him sharply. "Yeah. My aunt. Jenny."

"I..." He shook his head apologetically. "I don't have any idea who you're talking about."

"You... you _don't?_ Do you know who I am?"

"_Of course_. You're Macavity. And I'm Orion, but I haven't got clue who this Jennyanydots is." I must've been staring hard at him because he shifted uncomfortably. "Honesly, Macavity. I feel like someone painted white over some things."

"_Everlasting Cat_," I whispered, drawing back. He didn't remember Jenny. Did he even remember anyone else? "What about Old Deuteronomy? Jellylorum? Skimbleshanks? Munkustrap, even?"

His eyes welled with tear and he put his paws on either side of his head. "No. _I don't_." He shook his head. "What is this? _Why can't I remember?_"

I hugged him quickly, fearing he'd panic. "_I don't know_. Maybe you'll remember in a little while. You've been asleep a while. Maybe it has to wear off or something."

Orion pulled away and wiped under his eyes. "Yeah. I'll be fine in a couple of hours."

"Of course you will."

I still couldn't fight that anxious feeling deep in the pit of my stomach.

* * *

"I'm going to be leaving tomorrow."

Ira looked up, startled. We were watching the fire crackle in the fireplace again. I knew that I was going to miss the warmth the most once I left this house. "Leaving? Where to? What about Orion? Are you taking him with you?"

I shook my head. "No. He's staying here. I just need to get things straightened out. I have a lot of things that I need to deal with right now. And I can't do that here."

"Does it have anything to do with what I told you about your mother?"

I glanced at him quickly. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess. But maybe you shouldn't go rooting around through things like this. Leave well enough alone."

I looked away again, back into the fire. "Things _aren't_ well enough, Ira. I need... I need to find her and find out about me. I don't even _know_ who I am. Is that so much to want?"

Ira shook his head and smiled gently. "Of course not. I couldn't really stop you anyway. You're not exactly a kitten anymore, you know. And besides, you'd be a living hell here if I did somehow manage to stop you. You're just like your grandfather was when he was young. Always headstrong and not caring what anyone thought. No one could talk him out of something that he wanted to do. And I think you're the same way. So, I'm not even going to try doing that. I'm just going to give you my blessings and hope that you find what you are looking for."

"Thank you." I looked towards the sewing room. "Will you watch him for me? He's just not the same since... he's _not the same_. Tell him that I'll be back as soon as I can. And he'll be better by the time I return. Maybe he'll remember."

"_Maybe_," Ira replied, sounding doubtful.

I can't say that I didn't echo his thoughts.


	5. V

**Chapter 5**

I breathed a sigh of relief as I sunk down onto one of the wooden crates that were serving as chairs in this dismal place. My paws were nearly throbbing with pain and all I wanted then was to lie down and sleep. I'd been walking or running, as the case would sometimes be, for nearly a week now and had _yet_ to find any traces of my mother. Maybe she didn't want to be found. I resolved that I'd give it another couple of days then I'd return to the humans. I'd take Orion back to the junkyard, even if I had to drag his stubborn tail. There was no point in making Aunt Jenny and Grandfather worry about the two of us for very any longer than necessary.

Only, as much as I intended to return to my family once this business was straightened out, things really didn't end up working out the way I had planned.

I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. It was a dirty little hole in the wall that I believe was always happened upon accidentally. There hadn't been a sign or even a carving on the wood to indicate a safe place for Jellicle cats, but I had slipped inside anyways, keeping my house cat form until I saw exactly what was going on inside. I summed things up quickly and realized that I was in a bar where not only alcohol was being served.

I felt something jab into my side as I was concentrating on blacking out the terrible smell of old beer, feces, and unwashed bodies. My eyes flew open and I found myself staring into large golden eyes that looked mean and uncompromising. I swallowed roughly.

"What was that for?" I demanded, trying to sound a little older so that I wouldn't automatically get kicked back out into the misty night air.

"Are you going to order something or what? You'll have to leave if you don't. We don't need tomcats just loitering around; it's bad enough as it is to keep this place afloat without those kinds of toms cluttering up the place," the queen snapped. She stared at me. "So, what's it going to be?

"Milk."

She stared at me in disbelief then burst into laughter. I felt my face start to burn as some of the other patrons glanced over and began to snicker. Shaking her head, the red and cream colored queen wiped her eyes. "Listen, _kit_, all we've got here is booze and water. We don't serve milk straight because we don't serve kittens."

"Um..." I glanced around uncertainly. "Can't you put something in the milk?"

She nodded. "I think we can manage that, kit." She began to go on to the next table, but paused when the small stage at the front of the bar was suddenly lit up. My waitress paused as a dazzling white queen sauntered onto the stage. She shook her head a little, as if say stupid, young kittens these days, then glanced back at me.

"You'll like her. Her name's Griddlebone. Quite the little show queen if you ask me," my waitress said, clucking her tongue in disproval. "Got the toms flocking _all_ around her when she's not on stage. Too bad she works in such a slum. She'd probably make a good housecat. Of course, she's nothing compared to ole Grizabella."

I leaned forward. "Grizabella? Do you know her?"

"Of course I do. She owns this little joint now that she doesn't perform much anymore."

I couldn't believe my luck. I smiled my most winning smile at the older queen and she blushed.

"Thank you."

"It's not anything," she laughed nervously and hurried away.

I turned my attention back to Griddlebone. She was the queen who had been down at the docks. I recognized her. She was Growltiger's queen. I wasn't sure what she was doing here- Growltiger didn't seem to be the type of tom to let his queens go places by themselves- but she looked just as beautiful as ever. Our eyes met twice during her performance and she faltered a little. I realized that she was now looking at an older tom. Maybe I wasn't very old, but I was now technically an adult. My "loss of innocence" dance would've been a week ago had I been at the junkyard. And, now that I was an adult, I could now take full notice of her without fearing some older cat scolding me.

The waitress returned with my drink as Griddlebone practically skipped off the stage, blowing kisses at her admiring fans. The red and cream queen set my drink down and glanced towards the other end of the bar. She narrowed her golden hued eyes and hissed. I jumped, instantly terrified. One thought raced through my head.

_Growltiger!_

She looked back at me curiously.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Who did you hiss at?" I asked weakly, knowing that my voice was shaking as I asked the question. I shifted uneasily on the crate as she stared at me for a moment.

"_Them_," she replied, pointing a slender paw towards the other end of the bar. Two tiger striped kittens looked up guiltily. The queen motioned for them to come over, her jaw set angrily. "Those blasted kittens that Grizabella let stay here! I hate when she takes filth in off the street and gives away our hard earned money to it."

"They're only kittens," I murmured. She made a face.

"Yeah, and my tom has done me over pretty damn well the past couple of weeks they've been here." She touched her cheek softly and I could make out the bruising just under her fur. "He doesn't like it when I don't come home with much small tips, he thinks I'm hiding it, so he smacks me around before doing what he thinks he does best." She tossed her head in angry defiance. "So, you'll have to forgive me if I'm not thrilled with having those two little brats use the tip money for their dinners."

When the pair of kittens came near enough, the queen cuffed the male on the ear and the little queen kitten hissed and darted behind him. "Stay _out_ of trouble, you horrible little wretches! _How_ many times do I have to warn you? Do it, or I'll make sure Grizabella really does kick you out!" the queen hissed.

"We weren't doin' nothing," the little male protested. The queen raised her paw to strike at him again, but I caught her arm before she could bring it down. The kittens glanced at each other with looks of mingled mirth and horror. The waitress looked at me with wide, startled eyes.

"I'll take of them for you," I offered. "You don't need to hit them."

She glared at me then turned to them. Both kittens shrank back, the little queen slipping behind the tom kitten with a faint whimper. Finally, the waitress shrugged.

"_Fine_," she replied, huffing away.

The kittens watched her go, with their mouths partially open. Their expressions of wonder were identical and it was all I could do to keep from laughing. Finally, the little queen kitten turned to me and swallowed.

"We really didn't do _anything_," she piped up timidly. I studied their faces for a moment then smiled.

"You remind me of someone I know."

"And who might _that_ be?" the little male asked, crossing his arms over his chest. The tiny queen kitten moved so that she could see the other kitten and crossed her arms over her chest, making a tiny thumping noise as she did.

"No one you would know." I gazed at them for a little while longer. Neither kitten moved, seemingly as interested in me as I was in the two of them. "What're your names?"

"Well, _my_ name's Rumpelteazer," the female kitten replied. She poked her male counterpart. "And this dope is my _brother_, Mungojerrie."

"Dope?"

"Well, you are."

"If I'm a dope, that makes you a... a... _sister of the dope!_"

"What?"

"Shut up, Teazer," he grumbled and she slapped him. They looked about ready to fight, but quickly stopped when they caught sight of the waitress waving them down. Rumpelteazer smiled at me apologetically, then grabbing onto Mungojerrie's paw, trotted over to the queen. I watched them go with a smile growing on my face.

"Did you enjoy the show?"

I jumped a little and turned to see that Griddlebone had sat down beside me. I licked my lips nervously and nodded.

"You were stunning."

"Thank you," she giggled and glanced away for a moment. It was clear that she wasn't used to a compliment like that. Recovering quickly, she traced a paw down my chest and I felt my breath begin to quicken. "And maybe I could thank you _properly_ in a little while."

"Prop... properly?" I asked, feeling my heart race.

"Of course. What do you say?" she purred, edging even closer.

"Uh, sure. OK. When?"

She shrugged and leaned forward. "When you get down talking to Grizabella. Ole Tanzie told her that you were askin' about her and she's more than a little curious now."

"Grizabella wants to talk to me?"

"Yeah. She's right over there. Go on. And when you're done, we'll have a little conversation of our own."

* * *

Grizabella stared at me for a long time before finally speaking.

"What are you doing, snooping around here?" she demanded. She had made me sit down in her private office and was now pacing back and forth in front of me, her tail switching dangerously. "Most cats don't take to that sort of thing very well and _I'm_ one of them."

I played with the cup in front of me. I couldn't quite look her in the eye yet. "That's understandable, but I've been looking for you for a while now. It's an accident that I stumbled into here today."

She laughed bitterly. "Why? Did some other bar kick you out for having just one too many drinks?"

"I've _never_ been drunk before in my life!" I protested quickly and felt my skin flush under my fur.

She raised an eyebrow. "A street cat that's never been drunk before in his life? _That's_ one that I haven't heard before."

I finally looked up. "That's because I'm not a street cat."

Her eyes narrowed sharply. She had a length of blue silk wrapped around her, highlighting the flecks of blue in her eyes. It looked very much to me like a human robe. "Not a street cat, huh? I suppose you're one of those housecats, right? _Slumming_ it, right? Or maybe trying to defy your parents or something like that? Trying to prove something? Well, if that's what's going on, I suggest you get on out of here. There are a lot of toms around in here that wouldn't mind roughing up a pampered housecat."

"I'm _not_ a housecat, either," I replied coldly. "I live in the junkyard."

She softened her face a little and saw the traces of a once beautiful queen. "The junkyard? Which one might that be?"

"Old Deuteronomy's."

Her distant look disappeared left and she sat down behind her desk, pretending gallantly not to look too interested. "Really? How come you live there?"

"Deuteronomy's my grandfather. My aunt Jenny raised me."

Her face paled. There was an immediate fear, cold and deep, in her eyes that made a chill run down my spine as well. Her claws sank into the soft wood of her desk. "Jenny? Did something happen to Jellylorum? Was she..."

I shook my head. "No. Jellylorum's fine. But she's not my mother."

Grizabella stood suddenly, all traces of emotion gone from her expressive face. "I think you'd better leave." She ran the claws of one of her paws through the blonde locks that had grown long around her head. "I don't have time to chatter on with you into the wee hours of the night- I've got a business to run."

"She raised all three of us," I said quickly, standing as she did.

She whipped back around, grabbing onto my arm and tightening her grip. I gasped a little at the pain she was able to administer with her slender paw. She certainly didn't look strong enough to be bruising my arm the way I was certain that she was right now.

"What do you _want_ from me?" she hissed. "Why are you here? Did Jenny send you here to humiliate me? Is that it?"

Suddenly she dropped her paw and looked very old and exhausted. She dropped her gaze and let her shoulders slump a little. I placed a paw on her arm and she looked up a little.

"No, she didn't. I only wanted to find you. You're my _mother_, after all."

"Keep your voice low," she murmured. Finally, she met my eyes. "What's your name, by the way? I know that sounds bad, I mean I am your... mother, but I have no way of knowing. Jennyanydots named you three."

"Macavity. And brothers' names are Munkustrap and the Rum Tum Tugger. But everyone just calls him Tugger. It's a lot easier."

"Are you the oldest?"

"Yes."

She gave me a skeptical look. "If you're _really_ Jennyanydots' nephew, how did you manage to get out the junkyard and way out here? I know her well enough to know that she'd never let anyone come out here so long as she had a breath in her body."

I looked down quickly, feeling my heart begin to beat harder. "That's a long story and I'd rather not talk about it."

Grizabella nodded slowly then sat back down. She looked tired and defeated. "I understand about long stories," she said with a bitter laugh. She looked me in the eye. "You can stay here if you've got nowhere else to go."

I nodded slowly. "If that's what you really want…"

Grizabella laughed. "Nothing turns out the way I ever _really_ want it to, but sometimes you just have to accept what comes your way and mold it into something that you like." I nodded again and she waved her paw at me. "Go on now. I think Miss Griddlebone is waiting to talk to you."

* * *

"Do you really think that we-"

I was cut off as the snowy white queen slammed her paws against my shoulders, driving me back against the wall. Her fiery eyes looked into mine briefly then closed as she pressed her mouth against mine. For a moment or so, I simply stood there, pressing my lips back against hers. When I felt her tongue pressing against my lips, demanding entrance, I let her deepen the kiss. I was beginning to feel dizzy for air when I felt one of her paws wander lower, caressing places that had never before been touched.

"I'm not sure we ought to do this," I gasped breathlessly. She moved back a step, keeping her paws on my shoulders.

"Oh_, c'mon_. You're _kidding_. We're both adults and this is what adults do, right?" Her mouth found its way to my neck. Her lips and tongue on my body made me shiver with unknown anticipation.

"Yeah... but... I..."

She looked into my eyes again, searching me carefully. Then a strange light seemed to illuminate her eyes.. Her gaze softened.

"You've done this before, right?"

"Well, not exactly."

She moved away, running her paws through her fur. I leaned against the wall, trying to control my racing heart. She sat down across from me on an upturned tissue box. Her legs crossed and she leaned forward.

"So, let me get this straight. You're still a virgin?"

I flushed. "Yeah. Just a little."

She stared at me for a long while then finally stood up. I watched her as she sauntered over, wrapping her arms around my neck. I stumbled forward as she jerked me towards her. She wet her lips.

"Well, let me _remedy_ that for you."

"It's not-"

I let out a startled gasp she spun me around and just about flung me to the ground. My elbows smacked against the hard ground and sent a jolt up my arms. I quickly forgot about them when Griddlebone jumped on top of me, her eyes sparkling. She was too beautiful.

"This is gonna be fun!" she cried, covering my mouth with hers before I could utter another word. I struggled to shove her away.

"But, wait! I'm still really only a kid! Are you sure you want to do this?"

My head slammed against the ground again as she hit my shoulders hard. I stared up at her in awe. How did this little queen pack such a punch? _Everlasting Cat_, she wasn't even close to being as big as I was, yet she had pretty decently managed to pin me down. She narrowed her pretty eyes.

"C'mon, then. Why are you scared? You're a real tom, right?"

"Of course I am!"

She kissed me roughly. "Then show me!"

"My aunts wouldn't-"

She clapped her paws over my mouth, her eyes wide with terror. I could see her breath quicken. I grabbed her upper arms and pulled myself up, pulling her close against my chest.

"What's wrong? What do you see?"

As I stood, tensing my body for an attack, I heard her breath a sigh of relief. I turned back around, confused. She had her paw over her heart and was staring at me admiringly.

"Thank the Everlasting Cat! I thought I had heard a wimpy, little kitten, but it really is a real tom." She patted the ground next to her, smiling seductively. "Now, if you're a real tom, why don't you come over here and prove it to me?"

I stared at her, more than a little shocked. She was just about the most unpredictable queen I had ever met. I'll admit it. I wanted her more than I had wanted anything else before in my life. I jumped forward with a hiss and landed with practiced perfection immediately next to her. Griddlebone playfully gasped in shock and pressed her paw against her forehead. I could see her fighting back a giggle.

"Oh, my! What _shall_ I do? There's big, strong tom sitting right next to me!"

"You want to see a _real_ tom, Madame Griddlebone?" I demanded. Before she could move or answer, I straddled her hips, pressing my knees on either side of her hips. I pressed her shoulders down with my paws and smiled down at her.

"That was exactly what I was waiting for." She paused then fluttered her long lashes up at me. "And what are _you_ going to do about it, Mister Macavity?"

"_Let me show you._"

* * *

I awoke the next morning, feeling alive and, shamelessly, like a full grown tom. Curled into the crook of my arm, Griddlebone was still sleeping. I brushed a lock of her silky white fur off of her forehead, gazing at her with wonder. She looked like a kitten, nestled against me, so trusting. Any trace of hardship was erased in her peaceful sleep. I kissed each closed eyelid before gently kissing her on the lips.

"Morning," she whispered, snuggling against me. She draped an arm across my middle. "Sleep well?"

"Better with you here."

She smiled and planted a kiss on my cheek. "You're a ladies' tom. Such a sweet talker."

"That's me."

Griddlebone yawned lazily and sat up. She raised her arms high in the air, arching her back to stretch. Eventually, she stood up and began to smooth down her bed ruffled fur. I smiled.

"Where are you going?"

"Work," she replied. "A girl's gotta make a living."

I sat up, immediately jealous. "You're not going to... to sleep with another tom, are you?"

Her pretty face turned to me. "_Don't_ do that. This is my job. One night was nice and you're a sweet kid, but that _doesn't_ put food in my stomach."

I watched in hurt silence as she primped herself. My heart was aching. Everything about her made me catch my breath and, despite my better judgment, I couldn't help but love her.

"_Don't_," I whispered. She stopped and turned to me again.

"_I said stop_. This is _just_ as hard for you as it is for me! You're so different from the usual scumbags that usually come around to see me." She bit her lip and spun away. "I just _can't_ be with you, though. It wouldn't be right and I couldn't do it."

I stood and took her paw, turning her back around. She hung her head, hoping I wouldn't see the wetness around her eyes. I tilted her chin up and kissed her lips gently.

"We could, Griddlebone. I could take you away from here."

"To where? And how could you support us?" she demanded, but not looking very convincing. "I have _security_ here. I have a _job_."

"_I love you_," I replied. The words felt strange, but right. "We would have that and we could be together. Love is all we'd need." She shook her head.

"No. You don't really know what love is."

"I do know. And I know that I love you. Give me a chance. It's got to be better than living around here. _Please?_"

Her large eyes searched my face. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am. I love you more than any queen I've ever met and I know that I want to spend my life with you."

Suddenly, she flung herself into my arms, kissing me at the same time. I stumbled back against her force then returned her kiss. Her body was warm and reassuring against mine. I knew that I loved her. It wasn't wrong. And I knew that I would keep her afloat, no matter what it took.

"So, what do you say? Wanna go tell Grizabella that you quit?"

She kissed me again, the taste of her mouth lingering on my lips.

"Let's go."


	6. VI

**Chapter Six**

* * *

"I have to tell you something, Macavity."

I moaned softly. It was still early morning, with the thin, sickly rays of first sunlight just trickling into the room in which we slept. I could feel my mate's body close against mine and I could hear the tension in her voice. Deciding not to make a big deal out of the sheer taut tension I could feel in her body, I simply rolled over onto my back.

"What's wrong?" I murmured quietly.

She glanced away, then back at me. "I... I haven't been completely honest with you."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember Growltiger?"

I finally opened my eyes. I stared at the ceiling for a long time, recalling the pain that he had put me and poor Orion through. After a period of time, I looked over to her. She was now sitting up in bed, watching me in trepidation. "What about him?" I asked finally.

"He was my mate. Before you."

I reached over and brushed my paw down her cheek. "That's not news, love. You've already told me that."

"I _know_," she whispered. "I just... you know that he died only a couple of weeks before I met you, right?"

"What are you trying to tell me?"

She looked away again. My heart felt heavy. I wasn't sure that I wanted to wanted to hear what she had to say anymore. "You don't mean to tell me that you something to with his death, do you?"

"What? I... _no_. I wouldn't _kill_ anyone. I wouldn't do something like that, Macavity. It's something else. Something else entirely."

"Well, what is it? This is getting a little annoying, trying to guess what's wrong with you."

Her sapphire blue eyes stared into my own, searching desperately for something. I wish I knew what- I would simply hand it to her instead of having her digging through the muck to find the right words to best suit me. She buried her face in her paws. "_I'm pregnant_."

I smiled. "But, that's _great_ news!" She turned her tear stained face to me and shook her head. I felt my heart sink. "They're his, aren't they?"

"Yes," she replied, her body beginning to tremble. Out of fear, perhaps? "I can understand if you don't want to see me anymore. I mean... I'm carrying that son of a Pollicle's kittens." I put a paw to her lips, silencing her.

"Stop. You know that I love you and that I'm going to those any kittens that you give me."

"Even if they're Growltiger's?"

"Even then."

She wrapped her arms around me. "I knew there was a reason that I loved you."

Soon, Griddlebone gave birth to her kittens. Three of them. A gray, tiger-striped, tabby tom, an orange and cream tom, and a pure white queen. The little female looked like her mother in every way, save one. She had my eyes.

I spent hours those first few weeks just staring into my newborn, adopted daughter's eyes. Griddlebone was somewhat baffled by the strange coincidence, but didn't think that it was anything to worry or think about too much. Eventually, I was assured that with so many Jellicles in the world, there were bond to be more than just me who had eyes like mine.

I put her sweet little eyes, which looked so much more innocent and delicate on her face, out of my head for the time being. I was far too busy to worry much about my stepdaughter's eyes. I had found shelter in Growltiger's abandoned warehouse, bringing with me Griddlebone, her kittens, Orion, and Ira. Several strays had taken up with us, in desperate need of shelter. I let them stay one, but only so long as they were able to contribute to the food stocks and other things we needed to survive.

Grizabella came to visit every so often, insisting that she only wanted to see Griddlebone's kittens, but I knew the truth. She was worried for us. For the first time in my life, I worried about by my mother. The feeling was wonderful.

Eventually, her visits became so frequent and long that I just asked to move in with us. She refused at first, insisting that having her around wouldn't be much of a life for a young couple just starting out together. Griddlebone was a little unsure herself, at first, before I mentioned the fact that Grizabella would most likely love to take care of the kittens if we wanted a moment to ourselves. That quickly turned her over to my side and within a few days Grizabella moved in, leaving her bar and business to the waitress who had first served me several years before.

* * *

"Go on, Otto. I have things to do."

The little gray tom pouted. "More important than _me?_"

Grizabella laughed and drew him into her arms. "No. Not _more_ important. Don't be silly. But I do have things to do and I can't do them if you're scurrying around and making trouble and noise."

"Awww..."

"Listen to her," I said.

They both jumped, unaware that I was watching and listening in on their conversation. Otto wrinkled his nose.

"Macavity, why are you always sneaking around here?"

"Otto, why are you always annoying your grandmother?" I paused for a second then shook my head. "And, you know better than to call me by my first name, kit. You address me as Father, understand?"

He rolled his eyes skyward, reminding me of myself when I was his age. Yet, he was somehow different. Maybe it was who his father was. Even though I tried to ignore and forget this fact, it kept creeping up and my love for him was less than that of his siblings. He was so much more severe and serious than either of them. In fact he was more serious than any of the other kittens at the warehouse. Needless to say, he was picked on fairly regularly by those kittens who saw him as a threat.

"Fine, I'll go _play_." He trotted off, no doubt in search of his brother.

"I'm sorry he's such a bother," I told Grizabella. "You know who his father is. That probably explains everything."

She cringed back slightly, as though I had said something distasteful. "I wish you wouldn't do that."

I glanced at her, startled. "Do what?"

"Speak of him like you do simply because of who his father is. He's a sweet boy."

"It's _not_ a lie, mother. I know I shouldn't think any less of Otto, but... I just can't help but worry that he'll come to no good, just like Growltiger did."

She whipped around, her eyes flashing dangerously. "I told you to stop that!"

"Why does it bother you so much?"

She shook her head. "Just don't do it."

I took her paw. "Mother, _please_ tell me what's wrong." She jerked her paw away, looking angry and overwhelmed.

"You want to know, do you? _Fine_. I don't want you talking that way about Otto because his father is your father, too!"

I felt my knees buckle and I sunk to the ground. Instantly, Grizabella was at my side, drawing me close to her. I felt numb. I could hear her whispering comforting words into my ear, but they made no sense. She was stroking my face like I was a kitten.

"_God, no_," I heard myself whisper. She hugged me tighter.

"It's OK, Macavity. _It's all right_, honey. I didn't mean to tell you like that, but you didn't give much of a choice. I probably wouldn't have told, ever, but you had to know and I couldn't help it. Macavity? Are you OK?

"Oh, Macavity. We were young and foolish. _Please_ listen to me, dear. When I got pregnant with you, I left him right away. I knew you'd have a better life without him in it. I ran away before anyone could do anything about it.

"I met your brothers' father and we planned on raising the three of you when we learned that I was going to have more kittens." She stopped and looked away, her eyes distant. "I loved him so much, darling. He would've been such a wonderful father to you, I know he would've. But... he died. He died before he even got the chance to look at his children.

"I know this is hard for you, Macavity, but you have to look at me. Please?"

I raised my eyes slowly. She stroked my face and kissed my cheek, her eyes moist with tears.

"Are you OK?"

"_OK?_" I croaked. I pushed her away from me, ignoring the hurt look on her face. "How can you ask if I'm _OK?_ Everlasting Cat, you told me who my _real father_ is and that the brothers I know are really my _half brothers_ and..."

"I know," she said, her eyes pleading silently with me. "I just didn't want to lie to you anymore."

"Mom..."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

I stood shakily, my limbs feeling as they did in dreams. Only, this was a nightmare. "He tried to kill me when I was a kitten." Her mouth dropped open slightly. "He... he's the reason that Orion doesn't remember the Jellicles. And he's my father?"

I heard my voice shake as I neared to the end. She reached out to hold me, but I stumbled back, shaking my head. I couldn't hug her. She caused this. It was her fault. I knew it. _Why?_ Why would she do something like this to me? I thought that she had loved me enough to keep things like this from me. I had to get away.

Feeling my breath growing ragged, I spun and raced away.

* * *

I finally tumbled to the ground, not so far from the junkyard of my childhood. I rested my head against some of the heaped up garbage that hadn't made its way into the junkyard yet. A drizzling rain had begun and I could feel the rain and the mud plastering my fur to my sides. If only I could go back into the junkyard and live as though nothing in my adult life had ever happened… but, that wouldn't happen. I couldn't abandon those who needed me; my mother, my mate, the kittens. But, that meant facing them again and facing a past that was new to me. A past I hadn't even known existed.

"_Who's out there?_"

I tensed and pressed close against one of the cardboard boxes. I didn't recognize the voice at all and I wasn't stupid enough to go prancing around a place where I figured everyone thought I was long since dead. I watched carefully as a tiny kitten, no older than my stepchildren, poked his head out of the junkyard, eyes wide.

He looked around, then stepped out and stood as tall he could go. A moment later, a second kitten hurried up next to him and sat down. For a moment, I couldn't decide whether I seeing double or if there were twin kittens not so far off. I realized they were indeed twins when the second kitten leaned over and licked at the first one's cheek. He sniffed and stood up, mirrored exactly by his twin.

"Whaddya see?" the second asked, her voice a crystal soprano. The male kitten shrugged uneasily.

"I dunno, Tant. I think there's someone out, but..." He glanced at her and shrugged again. "You see anyone?"

"I _sense_ someone," she said then her head jerked towards my hiding place. Our eyes met for an instant and she took a few steps backwards. "I _don't_ want to be out here anymore."

He nuzzled his head against hers, concerned by her behavior. "_Why?_ What's wrong?"

She grabbed onto his arm, obviously nearing tears. "_Please, Cori_. It's scary out here. Let's go find Skimble or someone big. _Please_."

They both turned, as if on cue, as another tom appeared at the gate. He scowled playfully at them.

"What are you two doing out here? There might be Pollicles roaming around out here."

The female kitten whimpered softly, digging her claws into her brother's arm. He yelped and pulled away. The young tom's scowl turned into a serious frown as he looked down at her.

"What's wrong, Tantomile? You haven't _seen_ a Pollicle, have you?"

He stepped forward and I finally got a good look at his face. Three things happened at all once. I gasped and fell back against the boxes, the kittens ran away from the boxes in terror, and the tom leapt forward, ready to attack. The moment he laid eyes on me, he stumbled back.

"_Macavity!_ You're supposed to be _dead!_" he cried, herding the kittens behind him.

I stared at him in silence for a moment then stood. I had to admit, it was interesting to watch him shrink away from me in terror. I supposed he thought he was looking at a ghost. I felt my mouth tug upwards at the corners.

"Don't be _stupid_, Lonnie. If I were _dead_, how do you suppose I'm here talking to you?" He shook his head warily.

"_How?_ How can you not be dead?"

I jumped forward, intending to frighten him even further. He cringed back for a second then narrowed his steel colored eyes. He was waiting for my answer. I shrugged.

"I'm just not. And isn't _that_ a question to ask? Your best friend's brother _isn't_ dead and you can only wonder why _not?_" I glanced at the kittens, who, in typical kitten interest, had crept forward and were watching me with interest. "These your brats?"

Alonzo sniffed and shook his head. "No."

"Whose are they?"

"Orphans."

For a moment, he only watched me with narrowed eyes. I could feel him sizing me up right then and there. Then he looked down at the kittens.

"Go back into the junkyard."

"But, Alonzo, we-"

"Now!"

They jumped and scampered into the junkyard. I began to worry about what I had gotten myself into. Surely, though, he wasn't going to _do_ anything. He'd never been aggressive; a lover, not a fighter. However, the moment his eyes met mine, I realized that had changed.

"I don't know why you came back here, but I suggest that you leave."

I narrowed my eyes angrily. "This is just as much _my_ home as it yours, Alonzo. If not _more_ so. At least I have family here. You," I looked him over disdainfully, "really aren't much better than a stray."

I found myself pinned to the ground in a matter of seconds. My face was pressed into the mud and I could taste metallic blood in my mouth.

"_Damn it, Macavity_," I heard him growl. "You really _never_ learned when to _shut your stupid mouth_, did you? Even after all this time, you're _still_ an idiot. Well, here's an idea." I went rigid as I felt him press his claws to my neck. Everlasting Cat, did he intend on killing me? "You can leave _now_ and we can pretend that none of this ever happened, never even here, or you can go on being a cocky jerk and I can repay you for everything you ever did to me when we were little. Take your pick."

I didn't move and, after a moment, he loosened his grip and moved away. I pushed myself upwards to glare at him. He glanced down the alley.

"Go on, _get out of here_."

Without another word, he turned and went back into the junkyard. I wiped the blood from my chin, boiling inside. He would repay me? That was a _joke_. If he wanted to see revenge done properly, he'd only have to wait until _I_ was done with _him_.

* * *

I didn't go home that night.

Instead, I roamed the streets of the city, stewing over everything and becoming angrier with each passing step. I fairly stormed into the dimly lit pub, daring anyone to approach me. I supposed everyone was too terrified to. Not that I could blame any of them. I was full grown tom with a matted coat, dried blood on my chin, and a furious look_. Of course you're terrifying_, I told myself viciously. _You're Growltiger's son, after all._

One queen, however, did have the nerve to approach me.

* * *


	7. VII

**Chapter Seven**

I'm not exactly sure how old she was. She could've been an adult from the way she moved and was built or she could've been a kitten from the light of innocence in her eyes. Although I was almost positive that she was wise in the ways of the street, there was still a trace of innocence in her that had not yet been marred.

When she first approached me in the bar that night, I had to admit that I was more than a little surprised. I narrowed my eyes threateningly, clearly showing her I wanted absolutely no part of her. At first, her eyes widened nervously then she seemed to realize that I probably wouldn't dare to hurt her and became more confident. In a few minutes, she slipped into the chair next to mine, watching me with wide coffee brown eyes. Finally, I spun and glared directly at her.

"What the _hell_ do you want?"

She jumped a little, clearly not expecting to be yelled at. She toyed with a lock of her silky scarlet fur. Now, my own hair was about as red as they come, tending towards the orangey side. She, on the other hand, has thick, deep red fur with touches of wine colored splashes and black markings. All in all, she was a very unusual, but very attractive young queen.

"I was _just_ curious. We don't get many new faces in here and I wanted to see who you were before anyone else did." She rolled her eyes a little bit. "And wouldn't it be like Ionia to pounce on the first fresh face she saw in here. Little _tramp_."

I scowled. "I don't know what you're talking about and I find I don't very much care."

Her pretty face screwed up in a frown. "You don't have to be so mean about it. I just thought that you'd like some company." She watched me with wide eyes for a second then pushed a paw down into my lap. "Some _female_ company."

I jumped and gently pushed her paw away from me. The queen's face fell in disappointment. "No thanks."

I waited for her to leave, but she didn't. She continued to twist her wild, yet fascinating, red fur around into near knots. I stared back at her for a while, hoping she'd get the hint. She didn't.

"You can leave now."

"I'd much rather stay here," she replied, leaning in close enough so that I could smell the scent of lavender that she had undoubtedly splashed behind her ears and onto her throat. It was nice. "You're interesting."

I laughed. "I'm interesting? You don't know _one thing_ about me. Not _one_. How can that be interesting?"

"_That's_ why. 'cause I _don't_ know. _That's_ why it's so interesting."

"My dear girl, you need help if you think _I'm_ fascinating."

"I resent that," she replied with a smile. "And besides, why do you think that you're not interesting? It's not everyday that a strong, handsome tom such as you strolls into this bar. I think that's thrilling."

"You need to get out more."

"Not when toms like you come around here."

I sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"For starters, what's your name? I can't really talk to someone unless I know their name."

"Yes, but you'll put your paw on their-"

"_Mister!_ Language, please." She fluffed out the fur around her head. "There are _ladies_ present."

"_Ladies?_"

She frowned. "_Yes_. Now, what is your name?"

"Macavity."

She blinked then smiled. "Very nice." We sat in silence for a few minutes before she jutted her lip forward in a pout.

"What's wrong now?"

"You didn't even ask _my_ name," she pouted. She cast her eyes down at the floor. "You probably don't even care."

"Fine. What's your name?"

She smiled winningly. "Bombalurina."

I couldn't take this any more. I had a mate; I didn't to be messing around with this fluff headed queen. "If you'll excuse me-"

I cut myself off when her eyes widened further, this time in fright. She seemed to be silently pleading with me not to go away just yet. I hesitated then sat back down. She leaned in close. I could see the flecks of green in her eyes this close.

"_Please_ don't leave us here."

"_What?_" I glanced around, feeling that I had missed something. "_Us?_"

Bombalurina nodded, glancing around herself. "Yes, _us_. Please take us with you and don't leave us here if you have any sympathy."

"Hold on." I held up a paw. "Who makes up the other part of us?"

"My sister. Just, _please_." She started to twist her fur again, unaware that she was knotting it. "He'll hurt us if you don't."

I met her eyes. "Who? Who will hurt you?"

"The tom that owns this dump." She glanced around again, her eyes fixing on an overweight, greasy tom standing in the corner. He was laughing and joking with some younger looking queens. "He thinks I'm not doing my job right and..." She trailed off, biting her lip nervously.

"What's your job?" I heard my voice soften sympathetically.

"I... I'm one of the girls. You _know_..." She looked acutely uncomfortable.

"Why doesn't he think that you're not doing your job?"

"Because... my sister's _too young_ to work, and too little and scared anyway, for her meals and keep here, so I do her portion of the work. Now he wants her to start, too, because he thinks she's old enough to do things like... that. But, she's not! _Heavyside, she's still a kitten!_ So, I won't let him let her work. I'd rather _die_ than see her do that kind of work." Her eyes hardened, then quickly softened in defeat. "Then, he upped my work load and I... I can't handle it anymore."

I watched the overweight tom angrily. I hated toms like that. How _dare_ he take advantage of such a young queen? And how could the Everlasting Cat allow such scumbags to roam the earth? I turned back to her.

"What makes you think _I'll_ help you?"

She shrugged nervously, her eyes dropping to the floor. "Nothing. I just thought you might." She sighed and slid closer. "I could pay you if you did. Not with money or anything, _but I could_." Bombalurina's paw traced up her thigh. "I know ways to repay people for their help."

I pushed her away gently, noticing the look of relief in her eyes. Cursing myself inwardly, because I'd probably regret doing this at some point in my life, I nodded.

"I'll help you. Go find your sister and I'll help get you out of here."

She planted a quick kiss on my cheek and scurried away. I would've been happy to see her so relieved had I not noticed the tom in the corner stand and begin to approach.

* * *

The fight was over in a matter of minutes. As I had started to lead Bombalurina and an even younger queen, clearly still a kitten, out, the tom has jumped and attacked us.

I didn't even know what was happening until it was over. All at once, I was standing over his dead body, panting and bloody. The kitten was screaming hysterically behind me, but then again the ringing in my head was loud enough to rival it. The few patrons that had gotten to their feet to jump in and stop the fight had backed off and slunk back to their seats.

Ignoring the kitten's screams, I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and hurried them out the door. Bombalurina stumbled once, glancing back at the body with a look of terror and, oddly enough, happiness.

She was still screaming about a block away. Frustrated, I set her down on the ground and with a solid hit, sent her sprawling to the ground. She yelped in terror and covered her eyes.

"_Shut up already!_ You're safe! No one's going to hurt you!"

Her mouth clamped shut and I could see her body shaking from trying to hold back her terrified screams. Bombalurina stood.

"Don't hurt her! She terrified and _you're_ only scaring her worse!"

I shook my head- I'd actually struck a queen, a kitten nonetheless- and turned as Bombalurina ran to comfort the little kitten.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, not looking at either of them. "Could you just make her _stop?_ My nerves can't take it."

"Demi?" I heard her whisper. "It's all right. He didn't mean to hurt you, doll. No one's ever going to hurt you again. I promise. I'll die before I let _anyone_ touch you." She stroked the kitten's head. "OK?"

I finally turned around again to find that the kitten had crawled into Bombalurina's lap. She was watching me nervously, not quite daring to move as long as I was watching her. I approached them, much to the kitten's horror, and knelt down in front of them. Bombalurina's eyes softened and she offered me a slight smile.

"It's all right. Your sister's right. I won't hurt you." She didn't respond; only her eyes showed any sign of life. They burned with a hot fire of hate on the inside. "Why don't you tell me your name? Mine's Macavity."

She opened her mouth and closed it again, not quite sure if she wanted to even talk to me. After glancing down at the ground, she mumbled: "_Demeter_."

"That's a pretty name."

She stared at me for a moment, then wrenched free of Bombalurina with a cry.

"_You killed Daddy!_" she screamed and ran to hide behind rubbish in the alley. She stumbled and I saw Bombalurina wince out of the corner of my eye. I spun to face her. She cringed back.

"Her _father?_ _Your father?_"

Bombalurina began to sob. "I _know_ how it looks! But, don't hate me! He _wasn't_ my father or hers! He's our stepfather! My mother married him right before she died! He... he..." She fell forward, burying her face in her arms.

I touched her shoulder gently. "He _what?_"

Her faced turned upwards, lit with fury and hatred. "_He raped me!_" She jerked her face away from mine. "He said I wasn't _good enough_ for anyone unless he taught me and if I didn't want to... well, it didn't matter if I didn't want to. He'd force himself on me anyway. He'd hit me and force me to give in to him. I always took it, though, because he said that if I refused, he'd simply move onto Demeter. He said she needed an education, too." Her paws clenched. "I hated him and I'm glad he's dead!"

I hesitated before touching her cheek to wipe away her tears. I didn't honestly know how to react to this new information. I'd heard of things like this, but I'd never witnessed a victim of it.

And the worst part of everything was that I was attracted to her. But, I _couldn't_ be! I _loved_ my mate! I loved Griddlebone and I couldn't be attracted to another queen! I couldn't- _but I was_.

I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to stop her tears form falling. She seemed like a kitten and my fatherly instincts told me to embrace her and rid her of her pain and suffering. But, she'd take that the wrong way. She'd think that I wanted more than I really did. Or did I want that? Did I really want someone besides my loving, beautiful mate?

She didn't let me decide. I found her in my arms the moment I touched her, kissing me desperately and savagely. I wondered what Demeter would see if she dared to look out here. I wanted to tell Bombalurina to stop, to tell her about my mate, to warn her about Demeter, but I couldn't fight the embrace of her body.

She didn't care who saw; she probably never would. So, instead of fighting her off, I sunk back against the ground and returned her hungry kisses

* * *

Later that afternoon, we arrived back at my warehouse. It looked so good to me; my home. My life was here, not anywhere else. From the distance, I could see my stepchildren, my beautiful stepchildren, playing with some of the kittens that had come to the warehouse with their parents. My mother and Ira were out front, keeping an eye on the mischievous kittens. They were deep in conversation (_did my mother seem to be laughing and giggling like a teenager?_) when we arrived. When they noticed me, Grizabella got to her feet and hurried over.

"Macavity," she said, hugging me tightly. "Are you all right? I never meant for you to-"

I pushed her back gently. "I'm fine."

She studied me for a moment, as though she doubted me, then noticed Bombalurina and Demeter.

"Who are these?"

"This is Bombalurina and this is Demeter. They needed help and I brought them back here."

"I'm sure they did," my mother said coldly, eyeing the red furred queen with distrust. "Why you don't go and find them a place to sleep and I'll go and find Griddlebone for you. She'll be so happy that you're home and relieved that you're all right."

I nodded and started forward. Bombalurina grabbed hold of Demeter's paw and pulled her along after her. I caught the little gold and black queen eyeing the other kittens longingly. She seemed to want to stay and play with them, and I would've let her, only Bombalurina seemed desperate to get away from my mother.

I knew exactly which room to settle them into. A small stray family had stayed there about a month before moving on for something new. There were more than enough pillows and blankets for their family, so Bombalurina and Demeter would have a comfortable room in there. They'd be warm and comfortable.

As we approached the room, I felt Bombalurina grab onto my arm. I turned to face her.

"We need to talk after I put Demeter to sleep."

I nodded. Everlasting Cat, I was already regretting taking them in.

Once they were settled into the room, which wasn't hard considering they had no belongings with them, Bombalurina cuddled up against her sister on one of the cushions. Demeter purred softly when she did and rolled over to lick at her sister's cheek. Bombalurina batted at her ears lightly, making the little kitten giggle and thrash her own paws at the older queen. I sighed, thinking of Griddlebone and her kittens.

Demeter flopped back over, her face turning dark as she watched me. Tucking her legs up to her chest- in a fetal position- she watched me warily as her eye lids started to droop. Bombalurina draped an arm over her side and Demeter nestled close to her. After a few minutes, the gold and black kitten had slipped into a light sleep.

Bombalurina slipped away from the kitten as though she had done this hundreds or thousands of times before. She was careful not to bump or jostle the sleeping kitten. Her face and eyes were dead serious when she looked at me.

"Who is Griddlebone?"

Oh, _God_. Why did she have to ask? Why did she have to bring my mate up? I had felt content and happy watching Bombalurina and Demeter; I felt as though we were ourselves a family. With Bombalurina and I as the parents of the sleeping Demeter. I couldn't tell why, but the thought was comforting.

"She's my mate."

She rubbed her head. I could tell that while she was putting Demeter to sleep, she had been thinking the same thing as I had. The perfect little family.

"You mean to say that you're not available?"

"No," I swallowed. I felt like a jerk.

"Then why did you make love to me?"

I bit my lower lip. _Stop it_, I thought. _Stop doing this!_ "I don't know. I couldn't stop myself, I suppose. I..."

"When we were... you know... did you love me? You said that you did..."

I jumped. I couldn't love her at all. Yes, I had said that, but why? I loved Griddlebone.

But, I _did_ love her. I loved Bombalurina, too. Not in the same way as I loved Griddlebone- not by a long shot- but it still felt like love to me. I hung my head.

"I think I _do_, but... we could never do what we had done again. _Never_, Bomba. I love Griddlebone and she's pregnant with my kittens and I couldn't betray her like that."

"But you could lie to me and make me believe I stood a chance?"

"Don't say that."

Bombalurina nodded. "_I understand, Macavity_." I looked up sharply, expecting to see a sarcastic look on her face. Instead, she only looked saddened. "I feel the same way about you. Only there's no one else in my life. I want to be with you and... I think that if I can't have you, I don't want to be here. I couldn't stand it."

"You'd die if you left. The streets are no place for a young queen and a kitten."

"I know, but I'd die here, too. Looking at you everyday and knowing that I couldn't have you for my own. It would kill me, Macavity."

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you making me choose?"

"Yes, I guess I am."

"Don't make me do that."

She shook her head. "I know what we could do instead."

"What?"

"I'd be willing to stay here if you would just be with me when you could."

I swallowed. "You mean, on the side? Like my _mistress?_"

"That sounds _dirty_. _Don't_ say it like that. You could just '_visit'_ me whenever Griddlebone was asleep or wasn't around."

"But what if someone found out? What if Griddlebone learned about us?"

She nestled her head against my shoulder. "We can keep it a secret, love. Demeter probably knows, but she won't tell if I asked her not to. She's a good kid and she'd do whatever I asked her to."

I considered this. "Are you _sure?_ I couldn't love you the way you need to be loved and I wouldn't always be there for you. And you couldn't be seen in public. And if some other tom loved you, you'd feel tied to me."

She shrugged. "They can love me; doesn't mean I'll love them."

"So, you're sure you'd be willing to do that just to be with me?"

"Positive."

I leaned over and kissed her quickly. "I have to go now. My mate is probably worried and I don't want to arouse suspicions."

Bombalurina giggled. "You sound like a criminal."

"That's because _I am_."

* * *

Griddlebone snuggled against me, content. Her stomach was full and round with our kittens, so she couldn't do as much as I would like to do. But that was all right. Although I missed her- Heavyside, I missed her-, I had Bombalurina, so I was satisfied. And poor Griddlebone didn't know any better and thought I was suffering alone while she finished her pregnancy. If only she knew.

"I wonder how many we'll have."

"Huh?"

"_Kittens_, Macavity. I said I wondered _how many kittens_ we'll have together."

"Does it matter? As long as they're healthy?"

Her face fell. "No, I guess not. I was just wondering."

"Sorry."

She put her head back against my chest. I noticed the hurt look on her face and kicked myself for it. I should end it with Bombalurina and concentrate on my mate. I loved her and I was hurting her. _How_ did I get myself into these messes?

"I'm sure that they'll be beautiful anyway. How couldn't they be? Look at their mother," I murmured, stroking her cheek.

She watched me closely for a moment then rested her head back down. She breathed deeply. Contentedly.

"_I love you_," she murmured before drifting into sleep. I bit my lip.

"_I love you, too._"


	8. VIII

**Chapter Eight**

Things went slowly for the next year or so.

Griddlebone had given birth to our first litter, my first child. I felt so old. So much older than I had even weeks before the litter had been birthed. Before I'd know what was going on, I'd be a grandfather and then what? A great-grandfather?

Whenever I tried to mention this to Griddlebone, she merely smiled and shook her pretty head.

"You're not old, Mac. Not by a long shot. Do you think _I'm_ old?"

"No."

"Well, I'm _older_ than you are, so if you don't think I'm old, then you couldn't _possibly_ be. Understand?"

"I suppose."

Our first child was a small queen kitten. Almost too tiny, at least that was Griddlebone's constant concern, but she made up for her lack of size with barrels of affection and energy.

She didn't look much like her mother at all. In fact, most of the strays agreed that she looked like a female carbon copy of myself. Ginger and black from the tops of her ears to the tips of her tail. She did, however, keep her mother's eyes. They stood out shockingly with her fiery fur. Griddlebone insisted that she be named after her grandmother. So, my first child was named Vindonia at the first full moon after her birth.

Not six months later, Griddlebone gave birth to our second litter and her third. Twin tom kittens whom we named Pippen and Skeet. They, like their older sister, looked more like me than their mother. Only, instead of the striped pattern, their fur had a crazy, crisscrossed pattern to it that made them hard to watch when they were barreling about the warehouse. Few strays could claim to be able to watch them without feeling nauseous. The disorder of their fur only served to match their personalities. Wild and fun loving.

Our third litter, according to Griddlebone while in labor and busy trying to break my right paw in pain, was another one kitten litter. This time our daughter looked like her mother. Fluffy, white, and delicate. She was the shyest and most timid of all the kittens, much preferring to cuddle with her mother or her older half-brother Hyde to roughhousing with the other kittens. She was also easily frightened by any loud noises or sudden movements, which had Hyde at her side constantly. I had to admit that my half-brother (I had come to accept that Griddlebone's first litter were indeed my half-siblings, but we still insisted that they as though I were their father) was gentle and loving to his younger half-silbings in ways that his brother never could.

In fact, it had seemed as though all of our children had formed little alliances among themselves. There was Hyde and Giselle, our youngest, of course. Pippen and Skeet had latched onto their older half-sister, Torra, who would wrestle with them only until another tom her age looked her way. Although she loved them, it was amusing to see how quickly she'd drop them for a handsome tom kitten looking her way.

Lastly, Vindonia had paired off with Otto. That match bothered me somehow, although I could never put my paw on how it did. Something was wrong with the way Otto was constantly at his half-sister's side and would stand up for her regardless if she were clearly in the wrong. I suppose it could be worse, though. At least they didn't hate one another, right?

* * *

That afternoon, I was resting in the room of the warehouse where Griddlebone and I slept. I had just finished hiring some new strays for what Griddlebone knew only as my "employees". True, that's who they were, but she didn't really need to know the full and complete truth of their duties. All she needed to know was that there was food and shelter for her and the kittens. That provided, she seemed to understand that I did not want her to press about what I did to give her these things.

I felt myself begin to drift off into sleep when a faint knocking came at the door. I lay still for a moment, hoping that the visitor would leave me alone if I did. However, the knock came again. I cursed silently, then sat up, glaring at the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, sir."

I groaned softly. Just what I needed. "_Come in_."

The door creaked open slowly to reveal a young orange and black tom. He grinned sheepishly.

"I'm not disturbing your rest, am I?"

"No. Why would you think that?"

"I didn't think I was. That's really the last time I listen to Ira."

I gazed at him mildly for a moment. "What do you want, Jerrie? If you don't have anything urgent, I was going to rest."

He rubbed the back of his neck with a nervous laugh. "It's funny, really. I mean, what happened, ya know? Everything was going fine at first, right, but..." He trailed off, widening his eyes at me. I buried my own with my paws.

"Everlasting Cat! What the _heck_ did you and Teazer do this time?"

"Nothing, sir! Honest! We were only doing what you told us to do, but the humans came home too early!" He flopped down on the edge of my bed miserably, not seeming to notice my eyebrow hook upwards. "They got Teazer, sir! It was _horrible!_"

"Well, is she OK? Did they hurt her?"

He shrugged, hanging his head. "I dunno. They took her to the... to the..."

"The _pound?_" I asked softly.

He looked away, not answering, but his crumpled face confirmed it.

Well, this was _perfect_. My time to take a nice, peaceful, relaxing nap was interrupted by the infamous blunderings of Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer.

I patted his shoulder comfortingly and stood. He lifted his head.

"All right, come on, Jerrie. I want to get back before dinner."

* * *

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, struggling not to breathe through it. Mungojerrie was far less subtle. He had pinched either side of his nose with his forepaw and was breathing nosily through his mouth. I nudged him.

"_Shh_. You're going to give us away, _Darth_."

"Huh?"

"_Never mind_." I glanced around. "You're sure she's in there? I don't want to stroll into a Pollicle filled pound unless I _have_ to."

He nodded. "I'b sure. I can bell 'er."

"Jerrie? Your nose is plugged."

He released it, took a quick sniff, and replugged it. "Yup. She's in dere."

I shook my head and moved forward. The back door had been left open for a few minutes as the humans were moving things in and out. It was now or never. I grabbed Mungojerrie's arm. "Count of three."

"OK..."

"One... Two..."

"Macavity! The door!"

"Shit!"

I ran forward and darted through the closing door. I turned to see if Mungojerrie had followed me and watched as the door slammed shut inches in front of his face. I heard a solid thump as he crashed into it and winced.

"_Jerrie? Are you all right?_"

"Yes, sir," he mumble weakly. I could just see him rubbing his poor nose pitifully. "How am I going to get in?"

I looked around. "I don't think that you can. Why don't you wait out there?"

"I wanna see Teazer."

"I know you do, but there's not much you can do if I can't get you in here. Will you be OK if you stay out there alone?"

"I guess so. Find her soon?"

"_Promise_."

"All right," I heard him reluctantly agree. I felt bad for him, but what could I do?

Well, for one thing, I could get my tail moving. Was I really stupid enough to stand in the middle of a pound? Apparently. Well, that could be fixed. I ducked down into the shadows and crept along the empty cages to my right. It was creepy in here, even for me. I couldn't put my finger on it, but a growing feeling of dread was creeping into the pit of my stomach. Out of nowhere, something reached out and latched onto my arm. I spun, unable to release my arm, and gasped. I couldn't _move_. I couldn't _breathe_.

I was staring face to face with _my father_. I tried to pull away. I tried to free myself. I even tried to _scream_, but I was numb where I was standing. My knees buckled and sunk down to the floor.

"_How?_" I managed to croak. "_You're supposed to be dead!_"

He reached forward and I was certain that this was finally it. I was going to die. He was going to kill me because I was too terrified to do anything about it or to even try to stop it. I closed my eyes tightly, feeling myself begin to tremble at the thought of my imminent death.

"What are you _talking_ about, boy?"

I blinked my eyes open, startled. This... this _wasn't_ Growltiger. Just some old tom that looked similar to him. _I was so paranoid! _He stared at me with wide, worried eyes. I swallowed roughly and jerked myself away. Giving him a sharp look, I ran in the opposite direction. Once I was a safe distance away, I slowed down. These cages were better lit. It also seemed to me that the animals down here were the younger, better looking animals. The ones that the humans would want to take home, I imagined. I paused a moment, seeing a flash of orange-white. I walked forward a few steps.

"_Macavity!_"

"_Rumpelteazer!_ Are you all right?" I asked, wrapping my paws around the bars in front of me. She bounced forward.

"I'm fine! How did you know I was here?"

"Your brother helped me."

"Where is he?" she asked, looking around.

"He got trapped outside."

"_Trapped?_"

"No, no. I'm sure he's all right. He just wasn't able to move fast enough to get in the door. It shut in his face." She sighed.

"I'm glad he's OK. It's like him to mess something like _that_ up." She tapped the bars I was leaning against. "How are we going to get me out of here?"

"Stand back. I have a few tricks up my sleeve," I replied, studying the lock.

She nodded and moved to the back of the cage. I watched her kneel down as I bent to pick the lock. After a few minutes, I realized that she was talking softly to someone else. I looked up.

"Teazer?"

"Yes?"

"Who are you talking to?"

"My cell mate." She stood and motioned to what I realized was a small black cat. "Come on over here."

I stopped my work on the lock to watch the young tom creep forward. He didn't raise his eyes to mine. After a moment, I shrugged.

"Wonderful." I continued to pick the look.

"I can help," I heard a timid voice mumble. I looked up to see that the young tom was studying the lock as well.

"You? _How?_"

"Like _this_."

I hopped backwards with a yelp as bright blue sparks splashed over the lock. It crackled under the heat and the bottom half snapped off. I stared at the broken lock lying on the floor for a moment before raising my eyes to meet his. The young tom, who actually younger than I had first thought, swallowed and slunk back.

Rumpelteazer clapped her paws enthusiastically. "That was _awesome!_ Why didn't you do it before?"

He shrugged and looked down. "It doesn't always _work_," he replied softly. Rumpelteazer giggled.

"It was still pretty cool!" She glanced at me, then the bars. Everlasting Cat, this little queen certainly wasn't subtle.

I gave the door a firm jerk and it swung open. Rumpelteazer barreled out and wrapped me in a giddy hug, dangling from my neck. I couldn't resist a laugh when she kissed my cheek and hopped down. She twirled around, examining her whereabouts. How her sheer energy hadn't burst open the cage door was completely beyond me.

The younger tom eyed her warily. No wonder. He was probably worried by Rumpelteazer's abnormal amount of energy. I had to admit that she was making me dizzy. I finally reached out and grabbed onto her tiger striped tail as an orange blur darted past me.

Rumpelteazer tumbled to the ground, landing in a sitting position. Her mouth turned down in a pout as she crossed her arms over her skinny chest.

"Macavity! I _trying_ to find an escape route!"

"Well, _stop it_. You're going to make me throw up if you don't!"

That brought the faintest trace of smile to the black tom watching us. He noticed me watching him and looked back down again.

"What's your name?"

"_Mine?_"

"Who else?"

He fiddled with his tail for a moment. "Quaxo."

"Nice to meet you." I looked over to Rumpelteazer, who was actually starting to creep off. "Stay _put_. If you get lost on this rescue mission, I swear that I'm _not_ coming back to get you."

"_Fine_."

"_I mean it_."

She threw her arms in the air with a disgusted noise. "_I'm staying put! Yeesh!_"

All three of us jumped as the door at the far end of the hallway opened. Humans, most likely. I grabbed onto Rumpeltazer's arm and tugged her upright. Quaxo looked around nervously.

"Both of you follow me," I commanded, pulling Rumpelteazer fast behind me.

I jerked her arm forward and shoved her into a nook behind some unused cages. She let out a small squeak as her arm smacked against one of the crates. I paid her no attention; she wasn't really hurt. Without thinking, I grabbed Quaxo's tail; he had stopped and turned to watch the approaching humans. Once I had him back there, I backed in, wanting to be able to see what was going with the humans.

They were unlike any other humans that I had ever seen before. Instead of their multicolored fur, splashes of blue and green mixed with pinks and purples, they had long white coats. They were solid white. Even their hind paws (feet as I believe they were called) were white. I studied these strange, new humans with interest for a few moments before noticing one of them carrying a long, sharp-tipped, tube-shaped thing in his hand. From behind me, I heard Quaxo breath in sharply.

"Oh, _no_," he murmured. I started to turn to ask him what was wrong, but the humans moved towards a cage near us.

"What's happening?" Rumpelteazer whispered into my ear. She didn't seem to be frightened, but rather curious. I shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Just wait and be quiet."

"OK."

While I had been talking to her, the humans had removed a young queen from one of the cages. She looked about Rumpelteazer's age. A pretty creature, if a little young. The human holding her stroked her behind her black and white ears. The other human was scribbling something onto a clipboard.

"This isn't _right_," Quaxo murmured to himself. I considered asking him what he meant, but I supposed I'd find out soon enough. I could hear him sniffle back hot, angry tears, but again, said nothing.

The humans carried her out of the hallway into a small, adjoining room. Unexpectedly, Quaxo hissed and tried to shove past me. I fell back then quickly regained my footing. _Stupid kit was going to get us all killed!_

I grabbed him, trying to pull him back into the little nook. He hissed, this time at me, and slashed at me with his claws. Except, he wasn't quite looking at me and I had an eerie feeling that he wasn't really even seeing me. He flung his arms out again, trying to beat me back.

I would've let him go, but I was nervous that he'd give us away. Plus, he was only a kitten and why should I let him chase after the humans? I felt like a complete jerk, but I was not going to let this kitten get us all killed.

I swung a fist, connecting solidly with his jaw. Quaxo dropped heavily to the ground, not making a noise. His eyes were dazed, but the crazed look that had been in them before was gone. Before he could get back up and run away, I hauled him back into the nook. Rumpelteazer was kneading the ground with her forepaws, looking completely terrified.

I pressed a paw to Quaxo's mouth. "Whatever you're trying to do, _stop it!_" He looked away.

Suddenly, Quaxo's entire body tensed and tears welled in his eyes. I thought for a moment that I was seriously hurting him and relaxed my hold. When that didn't work, I dropped my paw, startled. He buried his face with his paws, crouching back from me. I could hear his breathing speed up. Then, as suddenly as it had started, he slumped down, looking at me with exhausted eyes.

"It's done," he murmured, dropping his chin down onto his chest.

I exchanged a glance with Rumpelteazer. "What is?"

He shrugged. "The humans did what they wanted to. It's not important anymore."

"Quaxo?" I heard Rumpelteazer ask softly.

"They put her to '_sleep_'," he said with a disgusted sniff. "A nice human way of saying _they killed her_."

Rumpelteazer gasped. "How do you _know?_ I mean, you were out here with us and..."

"Call it intuition," he sighed.

Quaxo slumped against the wall, refusing to say anything more about it. Silent tears ran down his face, but he didn't seem to notice or care. After staring at him for a few minutes, I felt Rumpelteazer press close against me. Her heart was pounding hard and I felt tears soaking onto my fur. I wrapped one arm around her.

"It's OK, Teazer."

"No, it's not. I wanna go home."

"I know. I do, too."

* * *

The four of us, Mungojerrie had joined us once we'd made it out of the pound, arrived at the warehouse sullen and in dark moods. Even Rumpelteazer was in a dark mood, her tail drooping pathetically.

When we got there, Grizabella and Ira were there to greet us, but none of us were much in the mood for a warm welcome. Grizabella realized that something was wrong and quickly led Quaxo away towards the warehouse. The other two, arms around each other's waist, walked away warily after her. Ira watched them go.

"I'm not going to ask you what happened, Macavity. I know that you won't tell me. All I wanted to tell you was that we caught a trespasser by the warehouse while you were gone."

I slumped my shoulders forward. "Who? A Jellicle from the junkyard?"

Ira nodded with a sympathetic smile. "I know how you feel. You'd think they would've learned by now that we don't want them sneaking around here."

"I never forbid them, but I am now. I am _sick_ of them creeping around my home."

"Of course."

I scratched my head, walking towards the warehouse. I was still upset from the pound. I stopped suddenly.

"That Jellicle." Ira nodded. "I want them to know that I mean business. Unless it's a kitten, rough it-"

"_Him_, Macavity."

"Rough _him_ up and bring _him_ to me tomorrow. I'll make sure that those stupid Jellicles stay away from us."

Ira nodded reluctantly and walked away.


	9. IX

**Chapter Nine**

Orion followed me in, looking worried. I could tell he was upset about something just by the way his eyes darted from the door to my face. He sat down opposite of me, saying nothing. After a few minutes, his moping began to irritate me and I sighed.

"_What?_" I finally asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing. I was just wondering exactly what you had intended on doing to that Jellicle."

I shrugged. "Me, personally? Nothing. I'm just going to tell him to stay away from us and to go back and tell the rest of the Tribe the same thing. And this time I'm serious."

He nodded. "Yes, I suppose you are." He stood. I noticed that his white coat looked somewhat dingy in this light and it looked rumpled, too. Perhaps he had finally taken it upon himself to find a queen. "I don't want to sit here and watch this."

"Watch what?" I asked, raising my eyes to his. He scowled.

"Whatever you're going to do to this Jellicle."

"I told you already, I'm not-"

"Macavity, you have to stop this!" he interrupted. "I've seen what you do to them, I've seen the way you get inside their heads and scare them half to death. It's not right." He swallowed and shook his head. "You become someone else _completely_ when you do this kind of crap."

I clenched my paws slightly. "Well, _Ry_, I'm sorry if you don't like it. In case you haven't noticed, what I do puts food in your mouth and keeps you in a warm bed at night. How else am I going to keep half of these strays working with us without resorting to a language that they know."

He shook his head again and lowered it. His ears drooped slightly and I could read the defeat radiating from his hunched shoulders. "I don't know."

"Orion, listen-"

"No, Macavity." His head jerked up, his eyes flashing a certain dark anger that I hadn't seen in him before. I pressed my back against the chair a little more as he climbed to his feet. "I really don't want to stick around. I can't look at you when you're like this… it's like watching a whole different person wearing your body and doing things I never thought you capable of."

"Now, wait a minute," I said, standing. Adults now, Orion was finally shorter than I was, like Jennyanydots had always predicted. We were standing close enough that he had to tilt his gaze up slightly to meet mine. "Why would you say something like that? I'm your best friend _and_ I haven't changed at all."

Orion looked me over for a moment then offered a small smile. "_I'm sorry_. I'll talk with you later, then."

I started to protest, but closed my mouth and sunk back down in my chair as he turned and left the room. I stared after him, feeling the gnawing of his words in my stomach. _Was I different?_

I was startled out of my thoughts when I heard several of the strays who also called the warehouse home scuffle and stomping in the hallway, coming close to the room. I rolled my eyes, rubbing my temple. I agreed with Orion's no violence policy, for the most part, but sometimes a point just has to be made. It really was too bad that I had to now deal with the end product of the violence that I had ordered.

I turned my chair so that the high back faced the doorway. I smiled a bit when I realized I was acting like one of those human mob bosses that I had seen on the television set during my stay with the human family. I stared down at my paws, flexing razor sharp claws in and out again.

"Sir?"

"Yes, come in," I said evenly.

"Get up, pretty boy," I heard a stray growl.

There was a faint rustling noise as the Jellicle from the junkyard struggled to his feet. I began to wonder if I would recognize the tom once I turned around and looked.

"Did you do as I asked?"

"Yes, sir. Pretty well, if I do say so myself."

I heard a low growl. "Oh, stop takin' all the credit, ya moron."

"I'll take all the damn credit I _want_ to, fleabag. _I_ was the one to find him, wasn't I?"

"That don't _mean_ anything and you know it!"

I rolled my eyes. Even though they were useful, the stray, street hardened toms that stayed in the warehouse now were less than eloquent. "_Enough_. Bring him to a little closer." I heard scuffling behind me. "Is he even conscious?"

"Yes, sir," the first stray replied. "No thanks to Marshal here. Stupid lout tried to beat the-"

"I asked a question. I don't really want a monologue response." I paused. "What has he told you so far?"

"He won't talk to us, sir. I guess he thinks that he's too _good_ for us, huh?"

I decided to ignore the stray. "_Well_, Jellicle? What do you have to say for yourself? Would you mind explaining why you've been sniffing around our territory?"

There was a long pause. "I wasn't aware that this area was forbidden."

I sniffed. "It is _now_. I've had quite enough of you meddling junkyard cats, always getting underfoot and poking around in places where you don't belong."

I heard a pained yelp as one of the strays kicked the Jellicle. I winced a little. _And this is why you never do your own dirty work_, I thought to myself.

"_Answer him!_"

"Boys, calm down. In fact, why don't you two take a break? Go out and find something productive to do for the rest of the day."

"Like what?" one of the strays asked and I could tell it was an honest inquiry. That was another thing to be said about the strays that I was now working with. They weren't terribly bright, for the most part.

I sighed softly. "Why don't you start by reinforcing all of the blocked off entries to this building. I don't want human, Pollicle, or unwanted Jellicles able to slip in and put us all in danger."

"Yes, sir." There was a pause and a sudden hushed whispering between the two strays.

"What about him?"

"I'll talk to the Jellicle on my own."

I heard them whisper to one another doubtfully for another moment before the Jellicle that had been brought in yelped again, no doubt kicked once more in the ribs or gut as a parting of ways. I stretched my arms up above my head, allowing my claws to flex outwards as well.

"You know, I am somewhat of peacemaker," I said softly as I stood. I was careful to keep myself in the shadows. I didn't want him to see me too soon. It added to the illusion of violence that I liked to set up, but rarely indulged in. I was beginning to find psychology far more useful that muscle and claw. "I really _don't_ enjoy this sort of thing, despite what you may think. I'd really actually prefer just to get along in harmony with your junkyard. I really would, only... that doesn't seem to be what _you_ want." I cleared my throat. "I hope I'm being clear here."

I moved around my chair so that I could see the Jellicle, unfortunately, I couldn't see him too well since he was huddled back in the shadows. I moved forward, into the light, so that he could see me. The moment I did, I heard a sharp intake of breath. I hesitated, not knowing what to make of that response.

"Well? You're not frightened of me, are you?"

I saw the tom's shape move forward, a noticeable limp in his step. "Everlasting Cat," he murmured. A chill seemed to run up his spine because he shivered and rubbed at his arms.

Now I was uncomfortable. What was _wrong_ with this Jellicle? Why didn't he at least come into the light? Maybe I frightened him, but he didn't need to hide from my sight. I knew where he was and we both knew he couldn't escape.

"Get out here," I snapped impatiently. "I'm tiring of this game. I want to see who you are."

"I can't believe this," I heard him whisper as he stepped into the light.

I took a step backwards, shocked.

It was my _brother_. They had captured and beaten up my own brother. Immediately, I felt rage surge through my veins, before the disquieting reminder in my head told me that he was beaten on my _orders_.

"Tugger?" I asked softly, not quite daring to move. It was as though the moment itself commanded each of us to simply drink in the sight of the other. It had been years since I had seen him last and my eyes tried to keep up with every detail of him that had changed.

He nodded, awestruck. His jaw was slightly agape. "Heavyside... Macavity, you're_ alive! _I thought you were dead. So did everyone else." He looked away abruptly, biting down on his lower lip. "Why didn't you ever come back? Why didn't you ever let us know you were alive?"

"I did. Once," I managed to whisper. He looked back at me, confused.

"_When?_ Why didn't you come and see me? Why didn't you see Grandfather or Aunt Jenny or-"

"Tugger, that's really not important. I... came back, but I couldn't stay." I shook my head at his pleading eyes. "I couldn't tell you about it."

"Why... _why not?_"

I only stared at him. My little brother, the baby brother who I had left behind, frightened and upset, so many years before, was an adult now and just about my height. I felt like laughing and hugging close to me, I was so glad to see his face again. Instead, I diverted his attention away from the sole visit that I had made to the junkyard by gently touching a paw to his shoulder.

"Heavyside, Tugger. Look at you. Why didn't you try to fight back?"

He shook his head sadly. His mane, the mane that he prided himself on having, was matted down with mud, blood, and undoubtedly other fluids that I didn't feel like analyzing. "There were too many of them, Mac. I was only just inside the gate and they jumped me." He shrugged. "I didn't dare fight back. They might've killed me if I did."

He was probably right. I took notice of a nasty wound on his shoulder and reached out to graze over it. Tugger winced and pulled back, his eyes widening slightly as my paw stretched to touch him. I pulled back. "Well, someone should take a look at you. I mean, you're still bleeding on your shoulder. You could be seriously hurt."

He glanced at the offending shoulder and looked back up at me. "Well, it's not _so_ bad, Macavity."

I felt my right paw flex involuntarily and knew that Tugger noticed it by the way he drew in a quiet breath. I stared down at my paw thoughtfully, practically hearing Orion's voice in my ears. This was a power trip, I realized suddenly and forced myself to ease my paw into limp looseness.

"Sorry," I murmured. "Reflex."

He only smiled hesitantly. I could tell by the worried, uneasy look on his face that he was beginning to feel precisely as Orion did. "I'll get it looked at," he agreed quietly, out of character. I nodded.

I felt bad about the cuts and bruises on his body. Despite the numerous scuffles and roughhousing that we had done as kittens, neither of us had ever really received more than a bloody nose or a split lip. I decided that the subject needed changing once more.

Was there _any_ part of my life here that I could comfortably share with him?

"Well, look around, little brother," I replied, gesturing. He glanced around the room then looked back at me, curiosity gleaming bright in his wide, light brown eyes. "This entire warehouse is _mine_. The humans no longer keep track of it and they really don't seem to care what happens to it. And all the strays you've seen around here work for me."

Tugger's jaw dropped, his eyes filling with amazement. I almost grinned with pleasure. It had been too long since I had been idolized by my little brother. It felt good. "You have people working for you, Macavity? _Everlasting Cat!_ That's amazing! I mean, not that people work for you, but..."

"I know what you're trying to say," I laughed. We were falling into a comfortable place again.

"Well, I have to admit," he continued with a grin, "this _does_ seem like something you would do. You were always the leader when we were kittens." He paused. "That was a long time ago, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

He rubbed at his eyes, suddenly seeming to lose all the energy he had had before. I noticed how red and bloodshot they were and frowned. I wondered if the stray I'd put in charge of him had even let him have any sleep at all. He noticed my expression and dropped his paws down into his lap. I smiled.

"Tired? I don't suppose you had very much sleep last night." He shrugged.

"No, not really. I tried, but it's pretty hard to sleep when every time you shut your eyes, someone kicks you in the ribs."

I groaned. "I'll talk to them about that."

He shrugged. "No need. It's nothing that they wouldn't have done to any other Jellicle in my position."

"But, you're my _brother!_"

"So what? You didn't know and neither did they. Let it go, Mac, or you'll give yourself an ulcer."

"Funny."

"I try."

I stood again, extending my paw to him. Tugger stared at it for one, uncomfortable moment before taking hold and allowing me to pull him to his feet. The moment he was up, he wavered, grabbing onto my shoulder for support. I stumbled a little- he was bigger than I was- and we nearly tumbled onto the floor. Regaining my balance, I hooked my arm around his waist, steadying him. He smiled, looking a little embarrassed to have to be helped and leaned against me.

"Let me get you out of here and to some place where you can sleep. We can finish catching up in the morning."

"All right. I suppose that's a good idea." He looked down at his body. My chest ached suddenly with guilt.

We had to walk slowly down the hall towards a room that I knew hadn't been "loaned" to a stray yet. Tugger's eyes became half-lidded as he allowed me to support him and lead him through the narrow hallways and gutted out rooms. As we were walking, Tugger's ear's perked forward and his eyes widened a little. I followed his gaze to see him staring at Bombalurina. She was sprawled out near a window, taking in the sun, her scarlet fur fiery in the sunlight.

I knew perfectly well why he was staring at her. The light was hitting her coat in such a way that it looked as though it were lit with embers. She was lying on her back in a somewhat suggestive position, although I'm certain it hadn't been intentional. I'd seen her fall asleep in plenty of strange positions before and this one had a certain charm about it. I could barely see the rich color of her eyes through her fur. Her lips parted a bit then she gave me a small smile.

"Hi, Macavity," she purred, drawing herself into a halfway sitting position.

"Bombalurina."

I could almost see the connection being made in his head and hauled Tugger hard into the hallway. He smiled at me, his face playful.

"Your _girlfriend?_" he asked softly.

I hissed angrily and shoved him away from me. Weak from the beating he had endured, he staggered a few steps before collapsing onto the ground. He let out a grunt of pain and rolled onto his side, his eyes staring up at me. Eyes bright with fresh terror.

"No, Tugger," I snarled. He struggled into a sitting position, visibly frightened. "She's not."

"Why are you so angry?" he asked fearfully. Even though he was bigger than I was now, I could tell that he suddenly saw me as his older, fiercer brother with a violent streak running thickly through him. I studied him for a long moment before slumping down beside him. Tugger stared at me, not saying a word. I touched his shoulder.

"Sorry."

* * *

I sat down in my chair, feeling refreshed. Griddlebone had been more than happy to learn of my daring rescue mission and had felt the need to reward me for every night since. Not that I objected. She was very persuasive.

When my brother walked in that morning, I noticed that he looked steadier on his feet. He smiled distractedly at me as the young queen I'd sent, a pretty little thing with black and brown stripes, showed him a chair to sit in. When she smiled at him and he returned it, she giggled and pranced away. I raised an eyebrow.

"My, _my_, Tugger. You do know that I only sent her in there to wake you up, don't you?"

He buffed his claws on his coat. "And wake me up, she did."

My jaw dropped. "My _God_, Tugger! Did you sleep with her?"

"No." He glanced at me and smiled. "_Maybe_. I guess you'll never know."

"Oh, bugger off."

"Ah, what pleasant talk," I heard Griddlebone say from behind me. "It's like living with a sailor. It really is."

"Oh, believe me, darling, we haven't even gotten _started_ yet." I turned my head to face her and smiled winningly. "We're just getting warmed up."

"Well, you'd better _not_ continue," she murmured, planting a light kiss on my lips. "Little ears are around."

"We are _not_ little!"

Pippen and Skeet, followed by a sleepy faced Giselle, skidded into the room. Pippen skidded to a halt, causing Skeet to crash into him. The latter punched the former and I'm sure there would've been an all out growling free-for-all had their mother not grabbed them by the scruffs of their necks and yanked them away from each other.

"Now, you two stop that! Can't you be civil for five minutes? We have company, you know."

Pippen shook himself free of Griddlebone and sat down in his chair. His twin gave their mother a bitter look before huffing towards his own chair. Griddlebone lightly slapped his bottom before he did. I could see Tugger trying to hold back a smile as Skeet's ears drooped and he plopped down with a resigned sigh.

"Reminds you of Aunt Jenny, doesn't it," I asked in a whisper. He nodded with a snicker. Griddlebone cast a playfully dirty look our way and set about trying to settle the twins down.

"Daddy! Aren't you going to say good morning to me?"

"Baby! Of course I am!"

I swung Giselle up onto my lap, much to the little kitten's delight. She planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek and wrapped her arms around my neck. Only then did she notice Tugger at the table and gave him a suspicious look, tightening her hug.

"Who's _he?_"

"Giselle, that's not polite," Griddlebone said half-heartedly. She snatched Skeet's paw away from Pippen. Pippen stuck out his tongue at his twin and returned his attention to Tugger.

"This is your uncle, Giselle." I ruffled the fur on the top of her head and she turned her face up to mine. "You don't need to look so scared of him."

"All right," she agreed reluctantly, still giving him a cautious look. "What's for breakfast, Momma?"

"Leftovers," Griddlebone replied. "I woke up _late_ this morning." A smile in my direction.

"Gross!" Pippen scowled, glaring at his brother. Skeet stuffed another piece of food into his mouth, chewed it then gleefully displayed the contents to Pippen. The other rust colored kitten hissed and covered his eyes.

"Skeet! Stop that _right now!_"

"But, Mom, he-"

"I told you to stop."

"Ha ha, Skeet. You got in trouble."

"You're next, young man."

"Ma-oooom!"

Breakfast continued on in this fashion for quite a period of time until Griddlebone finally grabbed the twins by their ears and practically dragged them from the room. I could hear them shrieking as their mother administering the daily spankings they almost always deserved.

After my brother and I finished our meals, I escorted him to an exit where he could safely leave.

"I'm sorry that my kittens are so... so..."

"Like you?"

I laughed. "Exactly." I hesitated, watching him carefully. "You know, as much as I enjoyed your visit, I'm going to have to ask you never to return."

Tugger shook his head. "But-"

"Just go now. And when you get back to the junkyard, tell Old Deuteronomy that I will not tolerate any more intrusions."

He nodded sadly. "I understand. If that's really what you want."

"It is. It has to be."

I didn't say anything more; I couldn't or else I'd take back my warning not to return. Tugger's tail drooped a bit, then he turned and walked away, the stray following close behind him.


	10. X

**Chapter Ten**

I stifled a yawn. It was only days following Tugger's uncomfortable appearance and departure, but I still felt uneasy. It was like tiny prickles running the wrong way up my spine. I caught myself glancing over my shoulder more often.

I had grown uncomfortable in my own bedroom and, groggy and half asleep, I was hunting for a new place to sleep. I figured I'd go to my mother's room and crash in her bed. After all, she was probably outside with the kittens anyways, and her bed was the nicest in the warehouse. I don't know where she found some of the decorations for it; I just knew that it was the softest place to sleep.

I didn't bother to know since I figured that she was probably out taking care of the kittens like she always did. I suppose that she was struggling to do right by her grandchildren, even if she hadn't done very well with her own offspring.

But, no. She was in her room all right.

"Heaviside! Mom!" I managed to choke out, my jaw swinging so low in shock that it could've been swinging on the ground.

Sheets drawn up to her chin, my mother was at huddled at one end of the bed and Ira at the other end. They stared at me with wide, embarrassed eyes. They were both breathless and their fur was mussed. Despite their ages, they both looked like a pair of guilty adolescents. Grizabella had one paw up against her mouth and was biting the nail with her eyes darting nervously between me and Ira.

"Were you...?" I closed my eyes briefly. "This was not something I needed to see!"

"We are adults," Ira replied indignantly. I watched him gather Grizabella into his arms and kiss her gently. "I should think that we would be allowed to do this type of thing without your permission."

"Yeah... but... she's my mom!" I shook my head. Grizabella giggled like a young queen and ducked her head down.

"Macavity, dear, how do you think that you came into the world?"

I slapped my paws over my ears this time. "I'm leaving now!" I spun on my heel and marched out of the room.

Moments later, I felt a soft paw on my shoulder and turned around reluctantly. Grizabella smiled sheepishly at me, her eyes turned upwards in a pleading way, yet she didn't look as though she was really going to ask of my approval.

"We were going to tell you, dear. Soon. But, I guess we should've told you sooner or else you wouldn't have seen us-"

"I don't care what you want to do," I groaned. "It's just... creepy to see your mom... and..." I shook my head helplessly.

She laughed, smoothing her paw down my cheek. "I know, sweetheart. I know I wouldn't have wanted to see my mom and dad doing that."

I shivered. "Let's talk about something else, hmmm?"

"All right," she agreed with a touch of laughter. She linked her arm through mine like she would a girlfriend's. "What did you have in mind, darling?"

"For one: how long have you and Ira been interested in one another. And no... personal details."

She laughed again, her eyes sparkling. This was the first time I'd seen her look so young and happy. "For some time now. I couldn't tell you an exact date, of course. I mean, that would be impossible. All I know is that every time he looks at me, he makes me feel like a girl. He's so charming and handsome. I only wish I'd met him sooner. And his eyes..." She sighed dreamily.

"It sounds like you really like him," I replied. She turned her face up to mine. For a moment, I felt as though I were the parent and her the inexperienced teenager.

"I love him, Macavity." She fingered a lock of her black fur, twirling it around her finger. "He wants to be my mate... and I want to be his."

"Your mate?" I thought for a moment. It was starting to make some sense of all of this. "Mother, I think I'm starting to feel that this is wonderful news."

She smiled, her face lighting up again. "I know it is. I told him yes. The only bad thing is that we're too old to make any more kittens. I think he'd be a wonderful father, don't you? I mean, look how he acts around the kittens and they're not even his."

I nodded. "Yes, I think he would. But, would that make him my stepfather. You know, you two becoming mates and all?"

Grizabella blushed. "Well, dear, he sort of already is my mate."

"What?" I asked with mild disbelief.

"Well, it's official, darling. We danced the traditional mating dance. It's just too bad that you caught us on our honeymoon, doing-"

"OK! You don't have to bring that back up again."

"Sorry, darling. I wanted you to understand the way I feel about Ira."

I kissed her on the forehead. "Of course, I do. And I'm glad. I'm glad that you found someone that you can love and that someone loves you. I mean, besides me. And the kittens and-"

"I think I get your point," she laughed. "I am, too."

"Well, I'm glad you approve, Macavity," Ira said good naturedly, coming up behind Grizabella. He put his paws on her hips. "As much as I hate to do this, I do think it's important that my beautiful queen's kitten approve of her finding a new mate." He wrinkled his nose, pretending to mock me. "Even if you are a bit foolish and full of yourself."

"Thanks," I said emotionlessly. He grinned and I couldn't resist returning it.

"Ira..." Grizabella mumbled, pressing herself close up against him. I cleared my throat loudly as his paws started to wander. They broke apart with guilty smiles.

"Sorry, Macavity. I hope you don't mind having a couple of frisky, old cat srunning around the warehouse," Ira said with a grin.

"Who are you calling old?" Grizabella growled, slapping his arm. Ira took a step back, holding his paws out in front of him protectively.

"Not you, my darling. You're the youngest and most beautiful queen I've ever laid eyes on. And you're the-"

"That's not going to work," she growled, jerking him forward for a kiss.

They embraced passionately and when it looked as though they weren't going to separate for a while, I slipped away silently.

I smiled as I turned the corner and saw that the door to the apartment where Bombalurina and Demeter stayed was open. I glanced around quickly and made sure that nobody would see me slipping to the scarlet queen's rooms. Entering without a sound, I managed to close the door behind me and slip into her bedroom. Bombalurina was facing away from the door and sitting on her bed. She was awfully still, so I figured that she had heard me. I hurried my pace, lest she whirl around and attack whomever dared to attack her in her own apartment.

I drew myself up behind her and curled my paws around her waist. I pulled her close as I sunk down onto the bed, onto my knees. Wrapped almost completely around her, I brushed my lips across her neck and she shivered. She smelled like lilacs and other flowers that I couldn't name. Bombalurina had taken to experimenting with different scents to see which ones attracted more tom cats.

"You smell so good," I murmured hoarsely. Bombalurina let out a horrified gasp suddenly and fairly ripped herself away from my body. She spun to face me, lips curled in defensive anger, her fur sponged out. I sank down to rest my bottom on my legs. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm down, but her fur remained sponged. We stared at one another in shocked silence. After a moment, Bombalurina's shoulders slumped forward and she sighed.

"You scared me."

I touched her face as gently as possible. She closed her eyes and leaned into the loving touch. "I'm so sorry." She nodded, but didn't open her eyes. "You ought to keep the door closed if you're in here along, darling. I'm sure that there are other toms looking to be involved with such a gorgeous queen."

Finally, she opened her eyes. "It's so hard to forget him," she confessed. She moved over to the bed, standing only inches in front of me. "Why does it have to be this way?"

I knew who she was talking about and somehow my lips found their way to hers. I kissed her passionately, wanting to draw out all of the hurt and pain that I knew she was masking inside of her. After a couple seconds, she began to kiss back instead of standing still and in shock. Her body melted against mine and I slid back on the bed, bringing her to straddle over my hips. Her paws remained on my shoulders, unlike the way they usually teased and roamed.

Abruptly, she pulled away, panting and gasping for air. She swallowed roughly and turned her head aside when leaned forward to continue to the kiss. When my mouth brushed her cheek, she let out a tiny whimper and I immediately stopped.

"What's wrong?"

She opened her eyes and looked at me pleadingly. "Nothing's wrong. I just don't feel like it right now."

I touched her gently on the cheek and was surprised to find her cheeks were wet. She had been crying and I never even noticed. I felt like the most insensitive tom in the world.

Bombalurina pulled away, stood, and walked to the other side of the room. She stared at Demeter's bed for a long while before baring her teeth angrily and turning away from it. She glared around at the contents of the room and slumped down on a pillow. I watched her curiously. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"What are you looking at?"

"You," I replied cautiously. "What's going on?"

Her fur sponged once more while her eyes betrayed her next statement. "I'm not upset."

"Let me in," I pleaded. "Honey, I can help you, whatever it is."

She stood up again, twisting her paws together nervously, her eyes practically burning a hole through me. She bowed her head and a tear dripped from her nose onto the cement floor. I climbed to my feet and embraced the scarlet queen.

She stood still for a long time before sighing and dropping her head onto my shoulder. "You want to know, Macavity?" she asked, her voice low and husky from tears. "I'm in a lot of trouble right now."

I held her tighter. "What kind of trouble, Bomba? I don't understand what's going on and I want to help you." I stroked the fur on top of her head. It was cotton soft and silky, all at once. "Please?"

Bombalurina moved away from me slightly and looked up into my eyes. "You wouldn't be able to understand this, Macavity. It's not something a tom has to worry about. Only us stupid, trapped queens who just keep screwing up again and again."

I kissed her gently, just above her right eye. "What is it?"

"I have something very important to tell you." I nodded, hoping that I would look helpful enough that she would divulge her secret. "I…" She hesitated and clutched tighter around my middle. "I'm pregnant!"

I felt my stomach plunge. If the kitten was mine, it might look just like me, since Bombalurina's markings were much more similar to mine compared to my all white mate. I swallowed and coughed, trying to find my voice again.

"You're what?" I asked helplessly.

She only nodded and let tears run down her cheeks. Her paw pressed to her mouth, as though she were about to be ill and her pallor was white from fear and tension. "How can we keep this a secret? People will notice me bulge out with kittens."

"Couldn't you say that this is another tom's kitten?"

The hurt on her face made me apologize quickly. She looked away from me. "Macavity, since I came her, I have only ever slept with you. Everyone thinks I'm a huge tease, but they all know that I've always gone back to my bed alone."

She stared down at her still flat, toned stomach and moaned. "I want them out!" she burst out suddenly, shoving herself away from me.

She raised her left paw, claws extended, to rake it across her stomach. We both stared at the first beginning of blood pool up from where her claws where attacking. I snapped out of the shock of seeing what she was doing and wrenched her arm away from her and pressing it to the ground. The scratches looked superficial, but I wasn't going to let her hurt herself or the kitten.

"You can't kill yourself over this," I told her. She shook her head.

"I don't want this baby. _You_ don't want this kitten. Isn't that enough?"

"No," I said firmly.

She stared at me dully for a moment, then, without warning, raked her claws across my face. I cried out and jerked back. She lashed out with everything she had, claws, teeth, muscle, and scrambled to her feet..

"I hate you!" she hissed angrily.

She practically flew from the room. I buried my face in my paws, cursing out loud.

* * *

One hour.

Somehow several hours passed and she never came back into the room, like I had expected her to. Even if she decided to leave forever, she would have to come back to her apartment to collect the things that she had managed to accumulate. Collars, an expensive brush that Griddlebone, of all queens, had give her as a welcoming present. I had no idea where she could've gone, but I wasn't upset. Instead, I felt unsettlingly empty. That's might have been why when Demeter pranced into the room I made no move to show her that I was there.

I could see that she was happy. For once, the tiny little black and golden kitten looked truly happy. The lines, line from carrying too much weight at such a young age, that had started to form on her fresh, kitten face melted down into her sheer happiness.

She twirled around twice, a golden flurry of light and innocence, before she paused on one back paw. Back arched, she extended her other back paw towards the ceiling, spreading her arms out to the side. When she had achieved a position of a vertical split with her back arched so that her head nearly touched the back of her bottom knee, she straightened and leaped forward, kicking into a split as she did so. She leapfrogged a stack of pillows, knocking them to the ground.

I swallowed as she sprawled onto the fallen pillows, clasping her paws over her chest. Her eyes were half closed and dreamy. Her tail was twitching happily and curling around her leg. She was tapping out a rhythm with the tips of her toes and was the perfect image of beautifully happy youth.

Watching her hop back up and prance giddily around the room was stirring up too many memories. I pressed my fingers to my temple as snap shot images of the other queens in my life began. Cassandra, her eyes so deep and soulful, smirking in the knowledge of her infidelity. Jennyanydots and Jellylorum constantly berating and scolding me for messing everything up, no matter how hard I tried to make right. Griddlebone at the docks, tossing her head in haughty indifference, as Growltiger plunged us into near death. Bombalurina, threatening to murder the creation of our love making, just to spite me.

I cleared my throat loudly, climbing to my feet and slipping out of the afternoon shadows. The little gold and black kitten gasped and stumbled, crashing into the wall by the door. She was panting from exertion and fright, but managed to swallow and push herself away from the wall.

"I had no idea you were in here," she nearly whispered. No matter of words could convince the kitten that she had no reason to fear me. She swallowed again and moved slightly towards the door, her tail dropping down to curl around her knee. "I can wait outside."

She started to leave, but I found myself stepping in front of her to block her exit. Her tiny, bubblegum pink tongue flicked out to lick her lips. She was beginning to breathe harder and I felt a strange kind of surge of power flow through me as I watched her fear grow.

"Please leave me alone," she whispered.

"Not yet, my dear," I replied. I turned around and closed the door softly. At the sound of the latch clicking into place, I heard her whimper. "We have some business to discuss before you can go anywhere."

"I didn't do anything," she whispered weakly.

I shrugged and turned back around, taking a wide step towards her. Demeter's knees bent slightly in fear, as though she was getting ready to flee. She let out a soft whimper. "You see, I did come to see Bombalurina. But you know what? She didn't want to see me."

I reached out and grabbed her chin tightly. Demeter was fairly trembling at my touch and let out a tiny yelp as I squeezed just a little harder than I knew needed to.

"Why are you frightened?" She didn't answer. Instead, her eyes grew wet with tears and I stared at her until she broke down and the tears streaked down her soft, delicate white furred face. Demeter whimpered, moving her head slightly, a weak effort to shake my paw off. "Why, little girl?"

"Please," she breathed. "I want to go."

Faster than I knew what I was doing, I let go of her chin only to haul my paw back and strike the kitten alongside her cheek. The force was enough to knock the tiny queen to her knees.

"Don't hurt me!" she whimpered. I squatted down in front of her, catching her chin again. She closed her eyes tightly, no doubt expecting another painful blow.

"After what your sister did to me?" I asked, using a terrifyingly friendly tone of voice. "My dear Demeter, I wish that I didn't have to do this." I leaned in closer. "You see, if I hurt you, I hurt her, too."

"No," she moaned as I eased her back up to her feet.

"Open your eyes, Demeter," I commanded and her eyes snapped open. The golden brown orbs were full of nothing but sheer terror. It made me sick to realize that I liked having her completely under my control.

I grabbed her upper arms and jerked her towards me. I studied her for a moment before crushing my mouth against hers. Demeter began to sob, allowing me to push my tongue into my mouth and block the noises she was making. Her tiny chest was pressed against me and I could feel her heart flying from the terror I was putting her through.

As though something were controlling my body, channeling through me and using me, I felt the urge to use her in a way that would send the best message to her haughty sister. I dragged Demeter down so that we were both on our knees. She managed to pull back and was gasping for air, straining against my paws.

"Let me up!" she hissed, flattening her tiny ears against her head.

"Shut up," I hissed, tightening my grip again. She cried out in pain. I grabbed hold of her thigh and hooked it around my hip before I knew she could register it. As expected, she was loathe to discover exactly what I intended for her.

I rocked my hips forward, _hard_, and Demeter screamed in pain and terror. Even though I was the one hurting her, she was forced to cling to my shoulders lest she crack her head down on the floor. Demeter began to sob, each movement of my hips another yelp or scream, depending on how hard I pressed.

The feeling of someone or something else having control over me was growing so strong that I was beginning to fade away from what I was doing. The pained noises Demeter was making as her innocence was being stripped from her, the blood that was now on my thighs, it was all the actions of someone else. I nearly cried out myself.

Before I could, something hard crashed up against the back of my head and the darkness following it was all consuming.

"Come on. Wake up."

I jerked my head away from the strong odor and my eyes flew open. I sat up quickly.

"Whoa, Macavity!" a familiar voice said in a strange way as I brushed frantically at my face, gasping for a clean breath of air. "Calm down!"

I sagged now that the odor was no longer filling my nose. I felt an arm support my back and help me lay back down again.

"Ry?"

Orion nodded a deep frown etched on his face. He gingerly touched the bump on my head, trying to figure out how badly I was hurt. I hissed softly and he narrowed his eyes.

"Hold still," he murmured, studying me for a long while before touching the edge of the wound on my head again. I smacked his paw away angrily.

"That hurts!"

"Sorry," he replied emotionlessly. I looked back up at his face. He still had a peculiar expression on his face..

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

I brought a paw up to cover my mouth, my eyes sliding shut in sudden shame. "How long were you there?"

"God, Macavity! What the hell is wrong with you?" he snapped. "Demeter is a kitten! She's hardly even ready to begin her first dance of experience! I heard her crying and screaming and when I came and say you… well… when I saw what you were doing to her, I just hit you with the first thing I could find to stop you."

"Am I really that much of a monster?" Orion shrugged, but didn't answer verbally.

I rolled over, burying my face in a pillow and curling into the fetal position. I heard myself whimper softly. This wasn't me, was it?

"You can leave now. Just gather their belongings and leave."

"Macavity..."

"Please. Leave." I could barely find the strength to whisper.

Suddenly, I felt Orion drag me upright. He grabbed my chin and forced my head up. The gesture was so familiar, something I had just done over and over again to that poor kitten, that it made fear rattle through me. I half-expected him to strike me as he dragged me into a sitting position across from him.

"Stop that. Every time you do something terrible, you always play the pity card to make yourself feel better. You can't do that anymore. It won't work this time. You have to admit what you've done. You have to admit to yourself."

I shook my head. Even after so many years of close friendship, Orion still didn't realize that I repressed my strongest emotions for fear that they would hurt those around me. They usually did anyways, but I preferred people to think I had a nasty temper instead of worrying that I would lash out at them for things that didn't really seem like a big deal only ten minutes later. "No, Orion. I can't! I can't-"

"Macavity!"

I slumped forward and felt Orion sturdy and strong arms catch me and ease me half way back into my sitting position. I moaned quietly and shook my head. "If that's what you want…"

"It is."

My mouth was dry. I kept licking at my lips and swallowing, even though the only person here was my best friend. "I raped her. I raped a kitten," I moaned.

He hugged me close as I shuddered and began to cry.

"Orion?"

"Yeah?"

"How can you even stand me?"

"It ain't easy," he replied. Then he offered me a small smile. "But, you're my best friend and I couldn't just walk out on you, could I?"

"No," I replied softly.

He nodded then turned to lay on one of the beds. He flopped down and stared back at me, head resting on his forearms. I nestled down besides, clinging to him as if we were children.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"No problem, man." He grinned. "If I didn't look after you, who knows what stupid stuff you'd do."

I smiled at that and closed my eyes.


	11. XI

**Chapter Eleven**

"Shhh! Hurry up now!"

I turned over, opening my eyes slightly. It was the wee hours of darkness, before the sun rises, where everything has a hazy gray light about it. I simply stared out the window for a moment before looking over at my mate.

The window to our room was open, allowing a slight breeze to rustle through Griddlebone's fur. She was curled on her side, her tail lying lightly over my legs. One of her slim paws was tucked under her head, as if being used for a pillow, and the other was draped lightly over my hip. I lifted her tail and arm gently so as not to wake her, I stood and moved towards the window.

Peering out, I could faintly see Rumpelteazer's slight form standing in the warehouse yard. A moment later, two new figures, one being Mungojerrie, I'm sure, and the other I had no idea. The blundering thieves huddled close to whisper something to one another, then drew apart for a moment, Mungojerrie pausing to scratch his head. The third cat stood on its tiptoes, struggling to listen in. Rumpelteazer shoved it back with an exasperated sigh.

"Stop it, Quaxo!" A small smile crept onto my face as I recognized the little tom for who he was. "We can't help you leave if you keep interrupting us."

"_Shhh_, Teazer! You're making me forget what I had to say!"

Quaxo perked his ears forward impatiently then flattened them back. "Can't we just leave? This place gives me the creeps."

"The warehouse?" Rumpelteazer asked with a squeak of disbelief. Quaxo nodded.

"And the strays. No offense."

"None taken, kid," Mungojerrie snickered, glancing at his sister. Rumpelteazer punched him on the arm.

"You noisy lout! Shut up!"

"Me?" he growled, advancing towards her playfully.

Rumpelteazer hissed back, lowering her body closer to the ground. She looked as though she were going to attack him, only her tail was twitching above her playfully. I sighed as Mungojerrie swatted at her and got batted back. The tiny queen pounced forward and grabbed Mungojerrie around the waist, hiding behind him. He let out a snort of laughter as her fingers danced up his ribs.

"No, Teazer! _No tickling!_ That's not fair!" he squeaked, struggling to get away from her and not be too loud about it.

"Everything's fair in love and war, right Quaxo?"

Quaxo sighed loudly, snapping the tiger cats' attention to him. He shifted his weight from either back paw to show that he was impatient with their antics. Rumpelteazer emerged from behind her brother, grinning sheepishly.

"Let's go, then," she said, grabbing Quaxo's paw.

He turned his face up to hers in a look of pure admiration. She didn't seem to take any notice of his gaze, only glanced at Mungojerrie as if to tell him to get moving, too. She was treating Quaxo as she would a younger brother. I think I was the only one to notice the fact that the little tuxedo tom seemed to have a crush on the tiny tiger queen. Unless I was completely clueless and everyone already knew.

I watched them with interest as they headed towards the main gate. I had figured that Quaxo wouldn't stay too long at the warehouse- he was too jittery around the strays. Only a week or so ago, he had actually almost gotten himself beaten up by a group of them because he could do magic. From what I had heard, it wasn't that they were frightened because he had the ability; they were just angry because he didn't know how to control it. As I understand it, he had apparently just missed frying some large tom's tail. Only Mungojerrie's fast talking had spared the little tuxedo from a good beating.

Well, that was all well and good. He was more of a junkyard Jellicle, anyway. Not pampered, by any means, but too gentle to lead a "life of crime." That is, if you consider living at the warehouse and not actually being assigned to any jobs a life of crime.

"Macavity?" Griddlebone murmured. "Come back to bed. It's warmer when you're here with me."

I smiled. "Just give a moment?"

What bothered me most of all were Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer. They had been loyal to me ever since I got them both out of the bar my mother used to own and, especially, for risking my life to save Rumpelteazer. I had practically helped to raise the two of them and the way the little tiger queen was scratching her nails into the dirt that she was impatient to leave. Sweet as she was, it wouldn't be too much of a loss to lose a hyperactive queen who always somehow managed to botch every assignment I gave her.

Losing Mungojerrie, on the other paw, was an entirely different story. Despite the fact that he always wanted to be assigned with Rumpelteazer, he did actually make a fairly good thief. When he was alone or with a different partner, the tom had potential.

I slunk back to my bed, nuzzling close to my mate. She purred deeply in her sleep and her tail wrapped around my middle. Before falling back asleep, I vowed to figure out what was going on.

* * *

"Up kinda late last night, huh?"

Mungojerrie's fur sponged and his claws came out as he swung around to see the owner of the voice. I simply smiled at him and gestured that he could to sit down.

"A bit, sir." He looked me over for a moment. "Sorry, I didn't see you there."

I nodded. "That's completely understandable, Jerrie." I sat down on broken jewelry case, still staring at him in a calm, placid way. That usually did the trick. "Were you out by the gate last night?"

"I… no, I just need some fresh air…," he stammered, paling. He realized I'd seen him last night.

I waved a paw impatiently. "All right. Enough small talk, Jerrie. I _know_ you and Teazer were sneaking that kitten around last night. Tell me where you went."

"The junkyard," he whispered.

I shook my head. "Now, Jerrie, you know that I don't care if anyone stays or leaves. Pay your dues and you're free to leave in peace, right?" He nodded. "Then _why_ all the sneaking around?"

"Because... because Teazer and I were considering staying there, too."

"What?"

He cowered back, his fur, which had finally fallen back into its original places, sponged again and his eyes grow large and bright with fear. "Sir, Teazer wants to live with the Jellicles. She likes their gatherings, the... the, uh..."

"Jellicle Balls."

"Yes, sir. Those. And she likes how they let anyone in that wants to be one of them." Blushing, he bowed his head a little. "I also think that she likes a couple of the toms, too."

I tented my paws. "Let me get this straight. Just because your little sister has a crush, you're willing to leave all of this behind? This safety and security? After I've looked after the two of you since you came running here for help? Since you had no where else to go?"

"It's more than that..." He shook his head weakly. "It's more than that..."

I sighed. "Fine."

He looked up at me hesitantly, as though he hadn't quite heard me correctly. "What, sir?"

"I said _fine_. Go. You'll realize what a mistake you're making by doing this. Just don't expect to be taken back in here."

He held out his paws, almost pleading. "Don't be angry, Macavity. I only want to make Teazer happy. That's all I've ever wanted to do. I'm her brother and I have to look out for her."

"At least you're good to her," I mumbled. His face tilted, confused. I shook my head. "Go on, now. Before I change my mind about this."

Mungojerrie nodded seriously. Giving me a quick grin, which I much preferred to him trying to look serious, he twirled and ran back down the corridor.

I shook my head as my mouth twitched into the involuntary smile that it always did whenever I was around the tiger striped tom and turned back around. I drew in a quick breath to find Otto standing not too far off, in the shadows. His sharp gray eyes narrowed hostilely and he took a single step forward.

"Otto? What are you doing here?" I asked, studying his eyes quickly and sharply. He shrugged.

"Nothing. I live here. Don't I have the right to go where I please?" His eyebrow rose in defiance.

I nodded slowly. "I was just curious as to why you're skulking in the shadows behind me."

"I'm _not_," he replied shortly. His lip curled with disgust. "I just don't thunder here like a herd of elephants."

I felt myself tense with the outrage, hearing him speak to me like that when he had no right to after all the years I had taken care of him. However, I forced myself to swallow down my fury for two reasons. The first being that Griddlebone would be furious if she knew I had fought with her child. True, he was technically an adult now, having danced his first mating dance several moons back, but I knew that meant nothing at all to Griddlebone.

Secondly, Otto was certainly large enough to win any physical fight I started. He took after his father and was built sturdy and muscular. He had also reached a lofty height and was known to fight in the club that the young toms of the warehouse had begun, even though I tried to discourage it and shut it down every time I caught it happening. Otto had won every single fight he had ever been in, so it was no wonder why I wasn't eager to start anything with him.

Instead, I straightened my back and narrowed my eyes.

"Well, I guess that's better than following behind me in the shadows like some sort of petty thief."

He bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes blazing with fury. He preferred to think much more highly of himself. "Yes, well, I suppose I ought to go do something more constructive with my time. If you'll excuse me."

He spun abruptly and strode away. I could see that he was struggling to keep his temper in check. His tail was twitching angrily as he stalked past one of the young queens. She paused to watch him pass, her eyes wide with fear, admiration, and, if I guessed right, desire. Her eyes followed him for a ways before she glanced around to see if anyone noticed what she was doing. Catching me watching her examine Otto's body, the queen flushed and bowed her head. She hurried forward and ducked into her room.

I frowned at Otto's diminishing shape before heading back into the main hall.

* * *

**"**Watch me!"

"No, Daddy! Watch _me!_"

Pippen shoved Skeet, who was trying to stand on his head. Skeet tumbled backwards, rocking onto his heels as a landing. He hissed at his brother then lunged. Hyde, who was watching the kittens with a half-smile, jumped in before they actually hurt themselves or each other, and yanked them apart by their tails. Pippen smacked at Skeet, accidentally hitting his nose. Skeet let out a shriek of pain.

"Pippen!" I called, leaning forward with a look of disproval.

Skeet darted to me, wrenching himself free of Hyde. Hyde backed up a bit, still holding onto Pippen. Once on my lap, he buried his face against my chest.

"Daddy!" he howled. He had a flare for being the cut-up and outrageously dramatic kitten of the family. He always tried to pull one over on anyone gullible enough to fall for his stories. "My nose! Pippen tried to kill me, Daddy!"

"I did _not!_" Pippen cried indignantly. "You're such a liar!"

"Am not!" Skeet shouted back, spinning to face his twin.

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"_ARE TOO!_"

"_AM NOT!_"

"_SHUT UP!_"

Both male kittens jumped about half a mile. My eldest daughter, Vindonia, glared at her brothers savagely. I could see that she was trying to do something over where she was sitting in the main warehouse room, not too very fair from us, but definitely removed, and her brothers' shouting certainly wasn't good for her concentration. Even though that's what I'm sure she wanted her mother and I to believe, we all knew that she was over there so that she could look at the young tom cats without being directly associated with her family. I exchanged a glance with Griddlebone, who was looking towards her daughter with a knowing smirk playing on her lips.

"You're both stupid and noisy! So, shut up, already!"

Pippen glared back at her, standing with his legs far apart and his small paws on his hips. Skeet hopped out of my lap and skidded over to his brother to join in the staring contest. Vindonia hissed, got up, and stalked out of the room, presumably going back to our apartment suite. Griddlebone rolled her eyes.

"Why are your children _so_ hard to control?"

"My children? They're yours as well, darling."

She nodded sadly. "I know, but the insanity comes from your side of the family."

"You're sweet to say that."

She leaned over for a kiss. "Yeah, I know."

Pippen started to open his mouth to protest out public display of affection, but was cut off by a scream. His ears fell back against his skull and his fur sponged out. Skeet crouched down as his twin hissed at the frightening noise.

I jumped to my feet as a queen stumbled into the room. Her eyes were wild and terrified. She looked around before locking eyes with me.

"What happened?" I demanded immediately, not waiting for her to get up the nerve to speak.

She fell to her knees, her eyes wide as saucers and her body visibly shaking. "A car," she moaned and looked down at the ground, her shaking becoming worse. "There was so much _blood_…"

"Who was hit?" I demanded, my voice strained.

She shook her head, tears running down her face. I felt my heart jump. Not waiting for her to calm down enough to say, I bounded up from my seat and raced through the warehouse and out into the adjacent alleyway. Once I was outside of the warehouse, I saw a crowd of cats standing a ways off, in a tight cluster. They were whispering and, from somewhere in the middle, I could hear the sounds hysterical sobbing. I clenched my teeth and ran forward.

"_Move!_" I growled, shoving my way through the crowd. I suddenly stopped short.

"_Macavity!_"

I staggered back as the weight of Grizabella crashed into me. She was the one sobbing. Clutching at me desperately, she burst into a fresh round of sobs, burying her face against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her reassuringly. I felt my heart skip a beat as I gazed down at the ground.

Laying broken on the ground was Ira.

His scraggly coat was torn and bloody. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. His hind legs were twisted all the wrong the ways. I felt my stomach lurch and bit my lip. Ira groaned in what I imagined was agonizing pain and my mother spun to face him. She dropped to her knees and I knelt, too.

"Ira! You're going to be all right," she sobbed, stroking his face. He smiled, a trickle of blood running out the corner of his mouth.

"You were so _good_ to me," he wheezed. I shook my head.

"God, Ira, don't talk. She's right. We'll get you fixed up right away," I said, not feeling very confident about what I was saying. Ira moved only his eyes when he focused his attention on me.

"Macavity, my boy, watch your mother for me, would you?"

Grizabella laughed. "Stop that! You're going to be _fine!_ Don't say your goodbyes now! Don't! I won't let you!"

He reached out to touch her then his paw fell back with a cringe of pain. My mother fell forward, pressing herself against his chest.

"Please. Don't die," she whispered. He rested his paw on her head.

"Don't worry, darling. Soon I'll see you again."

She wept softly for long time. I'm sure I was crying as well, but I didn't feel anything. All I could do was stare at her, lying on his chest, grief stricken.

Finally, I gently pulled her up and against me instead. She was so weak and crushed that she didn't even object as I put my arms around her and lifted her off the ground. In fact, she nestled her head against me. Numbly, I turned to the nearest stray.

"Clean him up and get him out of here. And make sure the kittens don't see anything."

Carrying Grizabella back to the warehouse, I made sure to use a different entrance.

* * *

"Mother? Can I come in?"

When she didn't answer, I opened the door softly and peered inside. She was huddled on her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. I don't even think she knew I had entered the room. I sat down on the bed.

"_Mom?_ Are you OK?"

Her eyes turned to me, empty. I felt my heart break for her all over again.

"What do you think?"

I hung my head. "I'm so sorry. He was my best friend... besides Orion. I would've helped him if I could. I would've..."

She sighed heavily. "You know, I don't even know how I've made it this far in life. I shouldn't have."

"Mom, don't-"

"Listen! This is important! You have to understand how good your life is. You have the mate you love at your side and probably will for years to come. My first mate was the one who lead me from the junkyard to begin with." She let out a snort of disgusted laughter. "The scumbag left me after a month, to chase some new, little thing that he thought was prettier. My second mate... well, you know him. Growltiger. God, he was awful to me.

"The two good mates that I have had in my life were snatched away from me too soon, too fast. I had thought that Ira would be the mate that I would spend the rest of my life with."

I touched her arm. "Oh, Mom, I-"

"Appreciate Griddlebone. She _loves_ you. She looks to you so adoringly."

I nodded. Grizabella sat up and hugged me close. She was trembling slightly and I cradled her to my chest like I would have cradled one of my kittens.

"Macavity, I'm going to go back," she whispered after a long time of her crying softly on the white fur on my chest. She pulled away from me and wiped at her face. "I'm going to make them realize that I'm still a Jellicle and, if I'm lucky, I'll get chosen to go to the Heavyside Layer. I'll see Ira again."

I shook my head slowly. "But, Mom, you _won't_. You'll be reborn into a new life. That's the way things happen."

"But, I will," she replied earnestly. "Love will find a way and we'll be together again."

I sneered, hardly able to keep my disdain hidden. "How can you believe that?"

She frowned. "I'm going, Macavity. I'll go without your approval if I have to, but I'd rather leave knowing that there is peace between us."

I stared at her for a long moment then flung my arms around her body. She was caught by surprise and rocked back a little bit. Then her paws found their way to my back and began stroking me as though she would a kitten.

"But, _why_ do you have to go, too?"

"I'll watch over you. I'll keep an eye out for you, darling," she promised, moving her paw to stroke the back of my head. I nodded and pulled back to look at her.

"Mom?"

"Yes."

"This is what you really want." It felt more like a question than a statement.

"It is."

"Then I'll make sure you get there safely."


	12. XII

**Chapter Twelve**

Grizabella straightened, watching the Ball beside me silently. I could see many familiar faces; all looked much older. Not that it was a surprise, but I had to admit that it was little strange to see Munkustrap looking like an adult instead of my skinny little brother. It was even stranger to see Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer blending in almost perfectly with the other Jellicles.

I felt Grizabella grab onto my paw as Tugger sauntered out into the middle of the junkyard. I had told her all that I knew of my brothers and since I had seen Tugger grown up (versus only seeing Munkustrap as a kitten until today), I had been able to give my mother a much more complete description of what her youngest kitten now looked like. I glanced over at her and my heart sank at the way her tail drooped when she saw Tugger. From all of the discussions we had held on this topic, I knew that she was riding a high wave of guilt at the moment, soon to come crashing down into humiliated depression over the fact that she had left us behind to chase her own, fanciful dreams. I squeezed her paws lightly and softened my eyes, trying to comfort her silently. I turned my attention back to my youngest brother.

The kittens, and most of the females, dropped what they were doing to drool over Tugger. I blinked in an amazed kind of shock as he strutted this way and that, preening and letting all of the queens fall all over themselves, trying to get his attention. I didn't glance over at Grizabella, afraid I might start to laugh, my brother was behaving so ridiculously.

When I saw Bombalurina, looking as well fed, curvy, and sexy as ever, I struggled to control myself as she rubbed against my brother, singing lustily. Tugger's eyes widened with obvious interest and I know that he was thinking just what I was thinking: _don't mess around with Macavity's girlfriend_. He pulled her close against his body, much to the dismay of the kittens, sniffed her then dropped her to the ground with a disgusted "no!" However, I noticed that he was still eyeing her despite the killer looks she was shooting his way.

They continued to dance, Tugger bumping his hip against hers every now and then, throwing her off beat and sometimes making her stumble a bit, and Bombalurina shot him a dirty look whenever he did. The kittens danced giddily with them, clearly pleased by any little bit of attention my brother showed them. Wrapping up his song, my brother strutted to the middle of the junkyard. The kittens rushed to circle him, eyes wide with admiration. Suddenly, a tiny, tiger striped kitten burst into excited screams, waving her arms in the air. The other three kittens surrounding my brother stared at her with what could only be described as morbid fascination. Finally, Tugger slapped a paw over her mouth. The silence was deafening, but much better than the little kitten's shrieks.

I turned to Grizabella. She smiled at me.

"I'm ready."

I watched as she walked into the junkyard. I noticed the slightest limp as she walked. Perhaps she too had been injured in the car accident about a month or so ago and I had just never noticed. I crossed my arms over my chest and felt my mouth turn down into a worried frown. I started to pace angrily as first Quaxo then one of the junkyard kittens, who I did not recognize, were pushed away and hidden from my mother's touch.

Grizabella tried to cover up her obvious hurt by singing scornfully to Munkustrap, then to Cassandra. The brown queen sneered at her and slunk away towards Alonzo. I noticed Demeter watching her sympathetically and fought the urge to hiss.

"She haunted many a low resort..."

I could barely concentrate as Bombalurina, fiery and beautiful as ever, slid up next to her sister and draped an arm around her. Demeter welcomed the embrace and took up singing along with her sister. I nearly snarled with rage. Were they acting so miserably simply because she was my mother? She had always been good to them, especially little Demeter, who was now an adult queen, though a very young one.

"_And who would ever suppose that that was Grizabella the Glamour Cat?_"

Throwing her head back proudly, Grizabella strode back out of the junkyard. The kittens stared after her with curiosity and wonder. A couple even looked saddened. I wanted to run out and comfort my mother, but didn't quite dare. Luckily, my anger was cooled as portly Bustopher Jones waddled into the junkyard, immediately attracting my Aunt Jenny's attention. I turned to see Grizabella approach me, crestfallen. She turned her face away from me so that I couldn't see the tears welling in her eyes. Without a word, I quickly embraced her and held her close against my body.

We both jumped as a clap of thunder boomed and a flash of lightening lit the sky. For the briefest moment, my eyes met Demeter's and I knew she had seen me. Her eyes widened in terror and she stumbled backwards, earning herself worried glances from those near her.

"_Macavity!_" she screamed, the word seeming to rip from her throat.

The other Jellicles glanced around nervously for a minute before scattering to the depths of the junkyard. I hugged Grizabella closer and led her somewhere to sit.

* * *

I leaned forward anxiously. The kittens were dancing around playfully with Skimbleshanks and everyone seemed to have completely forgotten about me. Twice more had my mother entered the junkyard and twice more had she been shunned. Put simply, I was fed up. I had gathered several rats (which weren't too bright and terrified of me) and already had a plan.

Thunder crashed overhead again. This time I barely flinched as the kittens ran in terror towards the older cats. Demeter screamed again and even Bombalurina looked a little frightened for a moment.

"_Now_," I growled.

I jumped out into the open, the rats scrambling over one another to obey me. The Jellicles stared at me in stunned horror and I could see Old Deuteronomy trying to comfort them. He looked just as surprised as they did when the rats dropped the net over him.

I paused only briefly to stare back at Demeter. Her jaw dropped and she cowered back in horror. I didn't like the way I looked, reflected back in her large, scared eyes. I turned and hurried after the rats.

"Be careful, damn it!" I hissed, raising a paw. The rats dropped back, frightened.

"Sorry, sir. We was just doin' what ya told us ta do," one replied.

I glared at him. "Get lost. I'll call for you when I want you back."

"Yes sir!"

As they scurried away, I turned back to Old Deuteronomy. He only stared at me for a moment before speaking.

"Macavity, how you've grown! I haven't seen you for years! But why do you have to do this? Kidnap me and frighten the Tribe? This doesn't seem at all like you."

I laughed softly. "It seem as though you know me very well anymore, does it?"

"No, I don't suppose so," he sighed. "Why did you come back?"

"Grizabella. She wants to be accepted by your Tribe again."

"It's your Tribe, too," he replied softly.

"No, it's not. I'm not a junkyard cat anymore. If I ever really was, that is. Sorry to disappoint you."

He looked me over with a sad frown. I felt like I was a kitten again and in trouble. I squared my shoulders and narrowed my eyes. Finally, he folded his paws in front of him.

"Are the things that Demeter told us true?"

I cringed then regained composure. "Depends on what she's told you."

"I think you know." He shook his head sadly. "Why, Macavity?"

"Damn it, I didn't come here to get grilled by you! I came here to see that you accept my mother back into your Tribe. Everlasting Cat knows _why_ she would want that, but she does and I'm only here to help her!"

Old Deuteronomy sighed. "So, you know, then?"

"Of course I know that she's my mother. Do Munk and Tugger know?"

"No. If they knew, do you think they would act the way they do towards her?"

"Yes, I do," I said glumly. He shrugged.

"Perhaps, but that doesn't answer my first question. Why are you so intent on frightening the Jellicles?"

"I'm..." I set my jaw angrily. "I suppose you're right. If you'll excuse me."

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Don't worry. I'll have you back with your precious Tribe in no time, Grandfather."

* * *

Munkustrap hissed, his blue eyes betraying the fear that I was certain he was trying hard to hide. He probably never expected to see me again, especially after hearing little Demeter's story and knowing my strict policy about entrance into my warehouse. Amongst other things, of course. I would've liked to sit down and explain things to him calmly, but the entire junkyard was up in arms against me, so there wasn't much else that I could do, especially after hearing Bombalurina and Demeter sing of me like I was some ruthless, heartless crime boss without a kind bone anywhere in my body. I found it a little disturbing, however, the way Demeter seemed so caught up in the song and the way she was singing as though part of her had found me deeply sensual, despite the fact that I was the one to capture and forever mar her innocence.

I struck him hard across the head before he could get the first punch in, making him stumble backwards several feet. He looked a little dazed, but unsheathed his claws nonetheless. "What's your problem?" I hissed, trying to keep my voice as low as possible so that only the two of us would hear the exchange of words.

He shook his head and gave me the most exasperated look I'm sure he could muster.

"_You!_" he hissed back, his voice low and murderous.

He lunged at me, aiming low so as to hit my center of gravity and send me crashing to the ground. It was his signature move whenever we fought as kittens, so I was very comfortable sidestepping at the same time that I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and swung him down onto the ground. I could hear the air whoosh out of his lungs and listened as carefully as I could to hear him draw his first, shaking breath afterwards. As angry as I was, there was still a part of me that wanted very badly to protect my younger brother and to keep him safe, the way I should've done, had I stayed in the junkyard instead of running out to the docks with Orion on that cold, unforgettable, unforgivable night.

Somehow, Munkustrap managed to climb to his feet. He looked completely furious now, though the terror of what violence I could easily cause him had him crouched low, circling me, hunting for a weak spot. This time, when he once more threw himself at me (like he had done just before) I lifted him up off of his feet and spun, using his momentum to carry us both. This time, when I flung him to the ground, he struck his head hard and his eyes fluttered shut. I swallowed and look on in regret as several of the other junkyard Jellicles surrounded him, glaring black daggers up at me.

I wanted to leave then, having proved my stained reputation true, but let out a gasp as I felt something claw against my stomach. Alonzo, who was a much better fighter than my brother and who had much more of a reason to take me down than Munkustrap did was facing me, standing entirely too close. I snarled in rage, knowing that this one expression hid any traces of fear or hesitancy from my attacker. Alonzo lunged then, claws out, and even though he managed to cut me good, I managed to throw him, hard, away from me.

The other Jellicles were becoming braver and stepping up to fight as first Munkustrap then Alonzo hit the ground. I slashed at them, beginning to wish that I had brought some of my own toms with me tonight. I hurried to the top of the hood of the old car. I saw a pair of jumper cables nearby and grabbed them. Demeter's eyes widened and she was the only one to back off a few steps, her body trembling with memory and fear. Bombalurina was instantly holding her tight; her teeth bore at me savagely. Demeter looked close to tears.

I hesitated only a moment before touching the two cables together.

The sparks flew around my head and paws and I was lifted off of my feet. I had the sensation of flying before I crashed into something and collapsed into darkness.

* * *

Thankfully, I awoke only moments later. The upper half of my body felt like it had been fried inside out and the rips and tears to the fur and flesh on my abdomen were only superficial. I sighed in relief when I realized that and got to my feet slowly and painfully. Movement would probably do the best good for me now.

I snapped my ears forward in surprise as I heard my mother's voice start to sing. I leaned forward to see her glare around her at the other Jellicles then focus on Old Deuteronomy. How had he got back to the Jellicles? I couldn't think straight enough to reason it out, so I settled on watching my mother. I slumped painfully against a rusty old water heater.

I knew what she was singing about. I had heard her hum the melody to it before, but hadn't known that there were any words to it. Now that I heard them, I realized how much she truly missed Ira. Before this moment, I had supposed that she was simply growing too tired to continue on and wanted to feel the relief of death in the Heavyside Layer. Now I could see and feel, just as plainly as if I were her, that she was begging for the chance to leave this world and not return to a new Jellicle life until she was properly reunited with her soul mate.

I struggled to straighten up and away from the water heater as she collapsed to the ground, breathless and in painful, obvious anguish. "_Mom!_" I managed to whisper. "_Don't give up now! You're so close!_"

My ears perked forward at the sound of a young soprano voice. I turned to see a kitten that looked a little younger than my Giselle standing on top of the car hood.

"_Sunlight through the trees in summer..._"

I closed my eyes, taking in the words to the song of the kitten, letting them slip around me like a blanket. My heart lifted as I heard my mother's voice join hers. She was near tears, but at the same time her voice held the same determination that I had heard when I first met her. She sounded as I imagined she had when she was a young queen. Her voice had lost some of its dry, huskiness and was purer than I had ever dreamed it would or even could be.

I opened my eyes to see her cover her own eyes with one paw and extend the other behind her back. A tense moment followed as a slight, delicate, white kitten crept forward. She glanced back at Old Deuteronomy before finally slipping her paw into my mother's.

I couldn't help but grinning like an idiot as the other Jellicles hurried to surround her. They extended their paws and smiled gently at her. For once, even Bombalurina smiled at her and had the gesture returned. I felt like clapping, jumping, _shouting_. However, I held perfectly still, in awe, as Old Deuteronomy bowed to her.

_She'd been chosen!_

I let out a shaky sigh. Then I realized what this would mean for me. For the two of us.

I'd never see her again. I began to pace as she stepped onto the tire. She was _really_ leaving me. I had to fight to not run out there and stop her.

As she climbed higher, I let out a soft whimper. Her head turned and I knew that she could see me. Most of the Jellicles had lost sight of her, but I hadn't. I saw her gray fur lighten and I could see the lines on her face fade. She was becoming young again.

"_Mom_," I whispered, extending my paw. My voice cracked with emotion. She outstretched her own paw to me and wrapped her now smooth and delicate fingers around mine.

"Don't worry, my little one," I heard her say, even though I shouldn't have been able to. She was too far away. She smiled gently as the golden light began to surround her. "I will always be with you."

"I don't think I can let you go just yet," I confessed. My face was wet and it took me a few moments to realize that tears were pouring down from my eyes. "I need you."

"Go to your mate," she said, squeezing my paw softly. "Lean on each other now, not me."

I kissed her paw then leapt into the staircase, wrapping her in my arms.

"I'm going to miss you," I wept. "I only just find you and now you have to leave me?"

She kissed my cheek. "Everything is going to be all right, my love."

To my surprise and shock, a second figure suddenly shimmered near us and the outline of a tom cat joined us on the staircase. Grizabella breathed a sigh of relief and wrapped her arms around him as I simply stared at him. Ira smiled at me, stroking the fur on the back of my mother's head.

"Thanks, Macavity. Thanks for getting my best girl back at my side safely," I heard. I could only nod, dumbstruck. Ira turned his attention back to a young Grizabella. "Come on, my dear. We have so much to catch up on."

Ira lead me, dumbstruck, back onto the high perch I climbed up to in order to try and stop her. He patted my shoulder and it felt as real and as solid as though he were still alive. I sat down heavily once Ira was back on the staircase and watched as they climbed higher and higher into the sky. After a long time, their bodies merged in a warm golden glow with the stars themselves. The night sky seemed to shimmer before it was lit as normal again and as the staircase vanished.

I buried my face in my paws and grieved silently.

* * *

I returned to the warehouse alone. My shoulder, having struck the metal chain link fence of the junkyard after I touched the cables together was nearly numb from pain. I knew I would have to get it looked at soon or I would probably risk some irreparable damage. I didn't fancy the idea of losing range of motion or muscle tone.

I finally found my way up to the bedroom that I shared with Griddlebone. It was the largest bedroom in the warehouse, though not the largest room by far (the largest room was perhaps the main commons area when most of the stray spent their time in to socialize, play games, and watch over playing kittens, especially during rainy weather). Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had helped us to decorate the room into a comfortable, cozy bedroom, but one which had enough formality to keep it impressive.

I sunk down onto the bed, which was covered in its entirety by a thick, patchwork quilt that Grizabella and Ira had made and completed for us only months before Ira had died. I curled up on top of the bed and shut my eyes, needing the chance to sleep before hunting down a healer to help with my sore shoulder and the other injuries I had sustained at the Ball.

I was jostled out of my sleep by a scream nearly an hour later and the lights in my room flickered on. I sat up, fear and protective fatherly love sharing each weight on my heart. Griddlebone was standing in the doorway, staring at me with a look I could not define. I opened my mouth to ask her what was going on, but she slammed into me, knocking the breath from my body before I could speak.

"_You're home!_" she nearly screamed. I wiggled loose enough from her arms to answer.

"What's wrong?"

She pulled back, her eyes wild. "_The kittens_. I've been looking _everywhere_ for them!"

"What?" I stood up, holding her tightly, the hurt and pain in my body forgotten. "What do you mean that you can't find them?"

She shook her head fearfully. "Everywhere, Macavity, I've been all over this warehouse, trying to find them. Only…" She paused, staring at me for a long moment. "There's only one place I haven't checked."

She wrenched free and turned to run out of the room. I followed her through the hallway until I saw that we were heading towards Hyde's room. The moment I saw the way the door was ajar, I knew something was horribly wrong. Griddlebone screamed as soon as she was inside and when I entered I knew why.

Laying in a pool of his own blood, Hyde was half-conscious and badly beaten. He struggled to sit up as he heard his mother's scream. Too weak, he slumped back down. I ran to his side and gently lifted him into my arms. He groaned in pain.

"Hyde, _what happened?_" I asked, trying to wipe blood from his face with my paws. He whimpered in pain again and opened his swollen eyes. I could see terror in his eyes.

"He... he... I..."

I held him tighter. "It's OK, Hyde. I'm here and your mother's here, too. You _have_ to tell us what happened to you. _Please, Hyde._"

His eyes widened and became filled with tears. He let out a choked sob before answering.

"_Otto._"


	13. XIII

**Chapter Thirteen**

"_What?_" Griddlebone shrieked. "He's your _brother!_ Why would he do something like this?"

Hyde whimpered, not at all looking like the full grown tom that he was. He shook his head helplessly. "I don't know _why_, Mom. I was in here with... with..." He burst into tears.

"With who?" I asked gently. He shook his head in despair. I could see the pain in his eyes eating him alive and immediately felt bad that it was going to be me who was going to be grilling him. His mother, my beautiful mate, was pacing the floor and chewing on her clews nervously. Maybe it would be easier for him to have his mother ask him what I needed to know, but I had to do the job right.

"The kittens. Pippen, Skeet, and... and Giselle. I was playing with them and then... he just burst in here and started shoving me around." He tried to cover his eyes, but his paws fell back. "I tried to stop him, but then some of his friends came in and grabbed the twins since Otto was already carrying Giselle. I really tried to stop them, but there were too many of them and Otto's friends without the kittens beat up." Hyde looked away. "I played possum finally so that they would leave. God, I feel so miserable. What the _hell_ did I let happen?"

Griddlebone burst into sobs and cradled her son in her arms. I released him and sat back silently, my paws clenched. Hyde glanced at me as Griddlebone licked his face gently, trying to sooth the physical hurt.

"Dad? What are you going to do?" he asked fearfully when he noticed the expression on my face and the way my paws were clenched in fury.

That was the difference between him and his brother. Although they both knew I was their stepfather and half-brother, Hyde still insisted on calling me father. Maybe that was because we hadn't told them until they until were older. By that point, they should've accepted the fact that I was their father, no questions asked. But, Otto was disgusted and it seemed an effort to even call me by my name.

Griddlebone cradled her son closer. "Macavity? _Please_ answer him."

I shook my head. "The _bastard!_" I hissed. "I don't know what I'm going to _do_ to him, but I'm going to find my kittens, damn it!"

"_Don't hurt him!_" Griddlebone gasped.

"He almost killed Hyde!" I shouted, feeling my patience with her suddenly snap. She cringed back, huddling close to her bloodied son. "_His brother and your son!_ How can you _defend_ him?"

"_Because_ he's my son," she sobbed. "Call me an idiot if you want to, but I can't stand the thought of one of my beautiful children hurt. Especially if I knew that the one person I loved most in the world was the one who had hurt them."

I put a paw on her cheek. "Right now, _all_ I want to do is find the kittens. I'll deal with Otto later."

She hesitated then nodded. "Just don't hurt him if you can help it."

"I'll try."

She buried her face against Hyde's chest and began to sob again. Poor Hyde struggled to comfort her, although it was plain to see that he was the one that needed the most comfort.

I ran out of the room, rage surging through every vein in my body.

* * *

"I can't _believe_ this," Orion growled through his teeth. He was stalking next to me down a dark alley. Even though it was midday, the buildings and trees on either side kept the alley fairly dark. It was good. I felt more in my element at night instead of during the day. I rested most of the day and came alive at night.

"You think this is any easier for me," I snapped in return. "That little bastard has my children and I have no idea where he is!"

Orion glanced at me. "He's not exactly _little_, Macavity. You have to remember that if we find him."

"Yeah, but there's _two_ of us and _one_ of him!"

"And how many on his side, besides him," he demanded. He grabbed me by my shoulders and spun me to face him. "You heard Hyde say that Otto's friends helped him kidnap the kittens. We _have_ to be careful."

I jerked free of his grasp, breathless with rage. "_Damn it, Ry!_ I just want my children back!"

Orion didn't say anything, but allowed me to back away from him. I strode forward, clenching my paws tightly. If I did find him, I'd kill him for this.

I couldn't stop my mind from running over and caressing all of the "what if's" possible. What if he had already killed the kittens and had no intention whatsoever for ransoming my children? What if he had done worse to them? What if we never found them again? The questions that drove me the closest to screaming with rage were the why's: why had he kidnapped innocent children and beaten his own brother nearly to his death? Why did he hate me so much as to make this foolish move?

"We should rest," Orion said. I stared at him.

"What? We _can't._"

"We have to. We've been walking for hours and I know that you were up the whole night last night. _You'll collapse_," he predicted. I sighed.

"Fine," I mumbled, not wanting to fight.

I curled against a box, watching Orion try to find a place to sleep. I shut my eyes. Sleep came quickly.

* * *

_"Stop it! Get away from me!"_

_Giselle screamed helplessly as Otto grabbed her tiny wrists, lifted her up by then, and flung her across the room. She slammed against the wall and bit her tongue. Blood trickled down her chin as she slumped down to the ground and stared up at in horror at her older half-brother._

"_Otto! Why are you doing this?" she asked, honestly confused. She was too young to understand that, often times, violence occurred with little or no provocation. _

_Another brutal strike, this one across her face. She screamed again as he jerked her to her feet by her head fur. Her tail tucked between her legs as she struggled to make herself seem smaller than she was. She wanted nothing more than to disappear forever from this dirty place which stunk of urine and rotten meats. Her fur was puffed out in fear._

"_What's the matter, Gissy? Daddy not here to save you?"_

_He pressed her roughly against the wall that he had just throw her against and forced his mouth against hers. The kitten gagged and struggled to shove him away from her. Her eyes were wide with horror and disgust. Finally, Otto pulled away, glaring at her with disdain._

"_You little tramp! Don't you know any better? I'm your brother."_

_Giselle shook in her head in horrified disbelief. She would never kiss one of her brothers. Just the thought of kissing any tom put her off very much at this stage in her life. She started to sob weakly. "Otto, __**you**__ kissed me! I didn't want you to kiss me, so just leave me alone already. Please?"_

"_Sorry, Gissy. I'll have to teach you a lesson on good manners." He smirked at the way the kitten was breathing quickly and harshly, biting her lip in order to hold back her tears. She wasn't doing a very good job of it, but it was an admirable effort. Once again, Otto pressed his mouth to hers. This time, he let one of his paws wander down her the side of her body. She tried to squirm away from her brother's unwanted touches, but he pressed one of his paws against her throat. Suddenly, he slammed her head back against the wall again. She screamed aloud and Otto took a special delight in cutting the scream abruptly short by cutting off the supply of air to her lungs._

"_Shut __**up**__, Gissy!" he panted. His eyes scanned hers quickly Already her pretty eyes were starting to fade from the lack of air.. "__**Just shut up!**__"_

_Kicking her legs out from under her, Otto watched as his younger half-sister sprawled to her side on the ground. She was choking and gasping in air at once while once more trying to make herself as tiny as possible. Maybe if Otto thought she was too small to be bothered with anymore, he'd let her go home to her mother and father._

_Otto squatted down next to her and shoved her shoulder hard so that she was forced to slam flat onto her back. She was now crying in earnest and looked pathetically hurt and confused. Otto hated her for one very violent second and seriously considered just slitting her pretty little throat instead of trying to deal with her and use her to hurt Macavity. He just could not stand to listen to her snivel and whine for their mother and her father. It would be so much easier if she were dead._

_Instead, Otto had a better idea of what to do to this kitten. One that would be a lot more pleasurable for him and would mean that he could have her in the palm of his hand for all eternity. He had enough practice at the warehouse that he was pretty sure what the kitten's reaction was going to be. He sat down flat and forcibly drew Giselle into his lap, a crooked smile on his lips._

"_What are you going to do to me?" she asked, trembling as she asked him. He didn't answer right away, rocking his hips and adjust Giselle painfully onto just the right spot on his lap. He smiled at the kitten generously._

"_Nothing you probably haven't already done before, my dear little sister," he answered, thrusting his hips suddenly forward._

_The tiny kitten, too small both physically and emotionally to withstand this kind of penetration, screamed in agony. Her tiny, needle fine claws scrambled at his muscular arms as she struggled to pull herself from this all-encompassing hurt. She struggled the entire time and Otto enjoyed it all the more for the struggle._

_Gizelle screamed as loud in her head as she could manage, too locked up in fear to make another verbal noise. _

* * *

I screamed.

"_Giselle!_"

Abruptly, I was sitting upright. Orion was watching me from his resting place, his breath quick from panic. He stared at me with obvious confusion and worry. I covered my eyes with my paws.

"He _raped_ her! _He raped my baby!_"

Orion stood, approaching me and setting on hand on my shoulder. "You don't know that for sure-"

"_I do!_" I growled. Orion hesitated. "I saw _everything_! I saw what she saw, I _know_ that I did!" Then a chill ran down my spine. "There's something very wrong with him, Ry. He's always hated me, I know that much, but this was so much different. The way he was staring at me..."

"At _you?_" Orion asked, tilting his head to one side.

"_At her_," I snapped. "I saw everything she saw and it was like it was me. God, Ry, I'm scared."

Orion sighed, shaking his head. He lowered his eyes to the ground then raised them again. "Of a dream? You've never been superstitious before."

"It wasn't _just_ a dream!" I insisted angrily. "He _raped_ my daughter _and I saw everything!_"

"Maybe you really saw that, but how can we do anything about it just now? We should get moving. The sooner we'll find them if we do."

I startled myself with a crisp laugh. "That's exactly what I'm afraid of."

* * *

Night was nearing. With each passing moment, my chest tightened with fear. I could feel Giselle's terror and shame as Otto forced himself onto her. I could only imagine what he was doing now. I also felt terror inside of me for my sons. What in the name of Heavyside had he done to them? Were they OK, were they _alive?_ Had he hurt them in any way? If he had, I'd kill him twice over!

Try as I might, I couldn't get his eyes out of my mind. They terrified me. Even if it had been a dream, like Orion tried to soothe me with, I could see insanity lurking deep in his eyes. Even what he'd done had confirmed it. Orion had to believe me. I watched him walk ahead of me and cleared my throat. Orion turned.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know where we are?"

He glanced around and sniffed the air. "I think we've circled back around to the junkyard. A block or two and we could rest there."

"No. We can't."

He shrugged. "Fine. Do you want to rest here for a moment? I'm tired. Macavity? What are you looking at?"

I stared at the building in front of me with dread. Drops of blood were splattered on the front steps. I turned to Orion, my face paling.

"I think we found them."

* * *

"It's creepy in here," Orion whispered. "All I can smell is fear. I hate this."

"Not scared, are you?" I asked.

He whipped around, confused. Seeing the look on my face, his own face broke into a large grin. He shook his head.

"You're an _idiot_, Macavity. Of course I'm not _scared_. Did you think I was you or something?"

I made a stabbing motion at my chest. "_Ouch!_ That hurt! How long did you stay up last night thinking that one up?"

"You only wish you could look and be as brilliant and wonderful as me."

I held up my paws. "Whoa. Since when did your looks come into the picture?"

Orion preened. "My looks are always in the picture." He smiled indulgently. "Besides, you know you're only friends with me because I'm so damn sexy. Admit it."

"You're onto my plan!" I howled. I grabbed his shoulders and rested my face against his chest. Orion laughed. "I love you, Orion, 'cuz you're so purty."

"I know," he replied, buffing his claws on his chest fur. I laughed.

"That's disgusting."

Orion hissed, spinning around and away from me, so that we were back to back. I craned my head back, trying to see who had spoken. There was no one else in the room, not even a mouse or a rat. I drew my lips back in a growl.

"_Otto?_ Where are you?"

"Right here, _brother_."

I spun around in time to see a board swing out from the darkness. I tried to cry out, but it was too late. The board smashed into the side of Orion's head. His arms flailing, he fell to his knees. The board crashed down again and Orion fell flat onto his face, out cold.

I hissed, rage filling every last cell in my body. "_Show yourself, you coward!_"

The instant I said him, I regretted it. Otto stepped from the shadows, his huge body even more imposing in the darkness. I swallowed as my heart thundered in my chest. I could see why Otto was different.

_He was rabid_.

I took a step backwards. There was nowhere to go. Otto knew it as well as I did and smiled. My blood turned to ice and I felt a shiver run up my spine.

"Can't always be the hero, can you?" he whispered. His bloodshot eyes were locked on me. "Nor the villain, apparently. Too bad that you aren't even going to win your last battle."

I pressed myself against the wall. "What are you intending on doing? Soon the other strays will be here and you'll be outnumbered."

He smiled coldly and leaned forward. "But not before I finish with you Macavity." He grabbed my throat and lifted me a bit above the ground. "The only problem I can see is this: what should I do with you _before_ I kill you?"

"What the _hell_ are you talking about?" I gasped.

He sneered at me. "You're an idiot, you know that don't you? Perhaps I need to explain. All I have to do..." He dug his claws deeper into my neck and I cried out in pain. "... is to infect you with this disease that I have. Then you'll know what it's like to have to fight to have a coherent thought."

I struggled against his paws. "You wouldn't!"

"You underestimate me," he growled.

Then, to my shock and horror, he pressed me closer against the wall, allowing me to slide back down. He pressed his body up against mine. For a moment, all I could see was my Giselle screaming as he thrust into her tiny body over and over again. I felt myself start to tremble and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. He stayed there for a minute, placing his paw my waist and gently playing with the fur at my hip. I fought the urge to vomit.

"Poor Macavity! Scared to death, aren't you?" I remained still, fighting the new urge to scream. You know, if Gissy was any indication, then being a good lay is a family trait." His fingers crawled over each other and brushed against my most private of places. "Maybe I ought to see if it comes from mother or father?"

"Get off of me," I struggled to growl and Otto laughed. He bent down and swept his tongue inside my mouth before I could quite register what was happening. His paw squeezed hard and I cried out against his mouth. Otto's tongue left my mouth and I could feel the smile on his lips against my own.

I opened my eyes slowly after Otto pulled back and away from me. I gasped as his paw reached out and seized my wrist. I turned my face up to his in confusion. With a sharp yank upwards, I heard a nasty cracking noise. Pain shot up my arm like a fire. I started to sink down to the ground in dizzy pain, but Otto caught my shoulders and pressed me up against the wall again. I could feel my eyes filling with tears from pain.

He glared at me. "I won't hurt you _too_ much right now. At least not for a little while. I can't say anything about later. Who's to say what's going to happen once this-" he tapped his head "-progresses. Until then, I'll have to content myself with Gissy."

"_Don't you touch her again!_" I growled, sinking to the ground. He smiled then kicked me the ribs. I cried out and rolled over.

"Don't think you're in any position to be telling me what I should do, huh?"

He knelt and grabbed my chin, jerking my face up to his. "Just remember this the next time you want to try and play the role of the brave and dashing hero. If I decide to let you live long enough to have that chance."

I started to weep as Otto stood and walked away. I knew that there was no way out. My wrist was fiery with pain and I wasn't even sure if Orion was alive. I couldn't think straight with all the pain in my body. And the horrible images that kept racing thru my mind.

Crawling over, I knelt beside Orion. Suddenly, my head was light and I felt myself collapse down next to him. I wiped my face free of tears and nuzzled my head against his.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Ry. I've made such a mess of _everything_."


	14. XIV

**Chapter Fourteen**

I hugged my knees close to my chest, forcing my eyes to stay open; forcing myself to stay awake. My eyelids were drooping, though, and my body was shivering from all of the fresh wounds that I had sustained. It wasn't easy to stay awake, especially with Orion lying unconscious beside me, my paw stroking his head like I would a kitten's. It was my fault that he was laying there, too, so I had to stay awake and protect him from Otto, when my rabid stepson came back.

I glanced down as Orion stirred slightly. He moaned and rolled his head to the other side. I swallowed roughly and looked away, taking my paw from his body as I did. I couldn't bear to let myself think about what was going to happen if Otto back too soon. Heavyside knew I was hardly even capable of moving. There was no way to stop him from hurting Orion or me again.

I must've slipped into a light, semiconscious sleep because the next thing I knew, the door was opening. I forced my eyes open and stared numbly at Otto's hulking form. He looked around the room with disgust then strode over to my side. He knelt, his face close to mine. I looked down at the ground, my body starting to shiver anew. Or was I trembling?

"Well, Macavity, how's it going?" he asked, the words soft and friendly. I glanced up at his eyes and was surprised to see some genuine concern, alongside the madness of the rabies. I swallowed.

"Just let me get my children and leave us alone," I muttered quietly.

"If only..."

Without warning, he struck his paw across my face, sending my flat on my side. I rolled onto my stomach instinctually and gasped in pain as my injured paw landed under me. Turning my eyes up to him, I refused to give him the satisfaction of showing him how badly I was injured.

"This was all _your_ fault."

"What was?" I managed to ask in a level, even tone. My head was spinning and I felt sick to my stomach. I closed my eyes briefly to steady myself as I struggled back into a sitting position. I was not going to lay prone, waiting for Otto to slice his claws into me.

"Her leaving," he growled and looked away for a moment. I could see the hurt on his face as he did.

"Who?" I asked, searching his face desperately for some kind of hint of clue. "Otto, I don't even know who you're-"

I stopped as he pressed his paw against my throat. I could hear his breath noisy in my ear and shuddered. He growled wordlessly then spoke.

"I _loved_ her, Macavity. I loved her and you ruined _everything_ we could've had." He struck me again with the paw not holding onto my throat and I cried out as best I could with the little air I could suck into my burning lungs. "You _selfish_-"

He paused, trying to regain his temper and composure. I could see what an effort it was for him. I struggled against his paw, trying to pull it away for more air, and he simply hissed and tightened his grip a little bit more.

"Demeter," he continued softly. Dangerously. "You _made_ her leave. We could've had a future together, but _you_..." He shook his head sadly. For a moment, I could remorse on his features. "You had to go and mess everything up, _didn't you?_"

I drew in a gasp of air as black blurriness crept into the edges of my vision. He glanced mildly at his paw, but didn't loosen it. I was now trying to claw myself free. Otto decided to deter me from that kind of bid for freedom by punching me in the gut. I gagged in pain and found myself slumped against his paw, suddenly feeling too sick for air to fight anything that Otto would want to do. I figured that I would be dead soon enough anyways, especially if he held on any longer.

"I don't feel bad for you _at all_, Macavity. The sooner you're _dead_, the better off everyone else will be." A very small smile crept over his lips and I shivered in horror. "You do realize that, don't you?"

I nodded slightly, too weak to protest. He seemed satisfied that I had agreed with him and loosened his grip at last. I sucked in a bit of breath, wincing at how it burned going down. Otto rolled his eyes and released me completely, leaving me to sag down next to Orion, gasping and choking on the air I had been craving, tears running down from my eyes.

I groaned as rough paws grabbed onto my shoulders. I wanted to shove him away, but allowed myself to be hauled onto my feet. I swayed unsteadily, thrusting my arms out, hoping to steady myself. Otto grabbed one of my arms and steadied me by slinging my arm up and over the back of his neck and circling my waist with his other arm. I had seen this position before, but usually only on drunken Jellicles being lead home or wounded ones seeking medical help. I fought with myself to resist the urge to squirm away from him. Thankfully, I won.

"Come with me, Macavity."

"Where are we going?" I closed my eyes again, fighting back the urge to attack him. It would be so _easy_ to twist his neck down into a headlock and beat his face until he fell into unconsciousness.

"Does it _really_ matter? Just follow me."

I stumbled forward as he picked up the pace. After everything, it was too painful to keep up with Otto.

"Please, Otto," I gasped. "Slow down. It hurts."

"What does?" he asked, not looking at me.

"My arm," I gasped. It felt like he was trying to pull it out of the socket as he dragged me along. "It hurts, Otto!"

"Let me _help_," he replied, releasing his hold on me.

I was left standing still and alone, staring at my and rubbing my sore shoulder. I stared dumbly as he crashed his fist into my nose. I nearly flew backwards and crashed up against a wooden wall. My paws flew to cover my face, which I was sure was broken, feeling the blood ooze down through my fingers. I squeezed my eyes shut in pain as he began to smile.

"Concentrate on _that_ instead," he laughed.

I struggled away from the wall, letting out a cry of pain as he grasped my broken wrist and tugged me forward.

"_Stop_," I heard myself whisper weakly. He didn't seem to hear me or notice and kept pulling me forward.

Abruptly, he stopped and I nearly crashed into him. He turned and grabbed me by the shoulders, forcing me to look at him. He smiled slowly and I shivered violently.

"Here you go, Macavity. Have a nice last night with your _brats_."

He shoved me backwards into a dimly lit room. I tripped over my own feet and fell flat onto my back. My head hit heavily on the ground and I slipped back into the semiconscious state I was in before.

* * *

"_Daddy?_ Daddy, please wake up!"

I moaned and rolled over slightly. I covered my eyes with my arm, trying to ignore the voice. It was probably another hallucination. I wasn't going to bother giving this one any notice.

"_Daddy! Please!_"

Small paws suddenly rested on my chest and I felt a tiny, rough tongue touch my cheek. I pulled my arm away as fast as I could, trying to ignore the creaks and rips of pain each movement of my body made. I opened my eyes and found myself staring up at Pippen. He let out a happy whimper and laid his head on my chest.

I wrapped one arm around his tiny body and used the other to push myself upright. The kitten wrapped his arms around my waist and began to cry miserably. His was dirty and needed a cleaning badly. That was the last straw. I felt myself choke up at the sight of my son, covered in dirt and whatever else was in this place, and found tears wet the fur around my eyes again.

"Oh, Pippen," I murmured, stroking his fur. "Everything will be all right. _Daddy's here now_."

"I'm scared, Dad," he whimpered. "Otto's gone crazy. He hurt..." Pippen began to cry heavier, so much so that he was unable to speak for nearly a minute. "He _hurt_ Gissy _and_ Skeet!"

I tightened my hug around his body and he sunk into it comfortably. I had the feeling that Otto hadn't been gentle at all with any of the kittens and knew that I had to do my best to make up for it right now. "Where's your brother? _Where's Gissy?_"

"I dunno where Gissy is," he moaned. He leaned back to look up at me. He examined my face carefully. "Skeet's in the corner. He won't even talk to _me_." His bottom lip trembled. "I want Mama!"

"I know, kiddo." I rubbed the fur between his ears and he released a purr that I knew was a comfort to him. "Sit here a moment, OK? I want to see how your brother's doing. Will you do that for me?"

He nodded sadly. "All right."

I released the shivering kitten and he huddled up on the floor. It hurt terribly to move, my muscles were growing stiff from being beaten then left to unconscious, but I forced myself to my feet and glanced around the room. Sure enough, a second red-furred kitten was huddled in one of the corners. I swallowed roughly and walked forward.

"_Skeet?_" I whispered.

He tensed visibly, but didn't look up. I could see the gashes on his legs and arms from where I was standing. I could also see the patches of fur missing from his coat. His eyes were swollen from crying and one was discolored, no doubt from Otto's fist. This kitten had obviously earned more of Otto's rage that his twin brother. I wonder what Skeet had done that Otto beat him so viciously, but decided to not thinking about it very much, lest it drive me crazy. I got down on all fours and peered silently at him.

"Skeet?" I finally said softly. "Come here, kit. It's me. _It's Daddy._"

He shook his head frantically. "_No!_" he cried. Then he began rocking back and forth nervously, not lifting his gaze from the ground.

"Yes, Skeet. It's only Daddy. I'm _not_ going to hurt you."

"_Liar!_" he suddenly screamed, jerking his head up. I heard Pippen gasp and move a little further away from us. "_That's what Otto said, too!_"

I reached out and touched his leg. Skeet's mouth dropped open in horror and his eyes widened. He slammed back against the wall, a scream escaping from his lips. I leaned back quickly, showing him my paws.

"It's _OK_, Skeet! I won't touch you if you don't want me to."

His mouth suddenly snapped shut and he stared at me with wide, worried eyes. Suddenly, a light seemed to brighten in his head.

"_Daddy?_" he whispered.

"Yeah, kid. It's me."

He suddenly threw himself forward into my arms. I bit back a cry of pain as he hit my broken wrist. Using my good paw, I stroked his back. He flinched the first time, obviously terrified, and then buried his face against my shoulder.

"_He hurt me_," he managed to sob.

"_How?_ What did he do, Skeet?"

He shook his head. "_Please_, Daddy. _No_. Don't make me talk about it. _Please_. I don't... _I can't_..."

"Skeet, are you all right? You have to tell me what he did to you. I need to know how badly you've been hurt." I couldn't do anything until I knew for certain and, even then, the small amount of healing powers that had been passed on to me through Deuteronomy's line weren't strong enough to heal massive injuries; only enough to heal minor scrapes and bruising. I would need to get the children, all of them, back to Jenny and Jelly in order to be examined and healed of their physical wounds.

He moved back and pointed to his legs, wordlessly informing me of the painful looking gashes on them. He met my eyes.

"He said that if I could beat him at a wrestling match, that he'd let Gissy go and leave her alone. Only... he didn't fight _fair_, Daddy. He used his claws and kicked. And he pinned me. Only..." He shook his head, eyes filling with tears. "Only, when he pinned me, his… his…" Skeet blushed so deeply I could see it through his light facial fur. The kitten swallowed. "He pushed it inside of me. Dad?" I nodded. "It hurt so badly. He said that you would love me less because I let him hurt me like that. Do you, Daddy? Was he right?"

"That bastard," I growled under my breath. I looked straight into Skeet's eyes. "Not a word of what he told you is true. I will _always_ love you."

I scooped Skeet into my arms. The tiny kitten cringed at the physical contact, burying his face against my chest with a shudder. I paid no heed to his obvious terror and carried him over to his twin. Pippen looked up at his brother expectantly.

"Skeet? You OK?"

Skeet shook his head, peering down at Pippen with wide eyes. I set my son down on the ground and he didn't try to escape as Pippen crept over to him and nuzzled his head against his twin's. Skeet let out a low moan at the physical contact, as though it was making him itch to run away from Pippen, but I was proud of him when he didn't try to escape his twin. Instead, after a few minutes, he wrapped his arms around Pippen's neck and began to sob once more into his brother's shoulder.

I watched them for a moment then stalked over to the door. While the kittens comforted each other, I felt my fury rise. Frustrated and angry, I slammed my fist against the door, struggling to hold back any cursing. To my surprise and horror, the knob turned and the door swung open. Skeet let out a breathless scream, covering his face with his paws. I saw Pippen wrap an arm around his twin protectively, his tiny teeth bared and ready to fight.

I took a step back as Otto practically dragged a half-conscious Orion into the room. My friend could barely hold his eyes open. Otto tossed him forward, ignoring the fact that Orion landed less than gracefully onto his stomach on the ground.

"I thought Orion would make a nice addition to this little family scene," Otto chuckled. He glanced over at the kittens. "How are you holding up, Skeet?" he asked.

Pippen hissed angrily, extending his claws. He moved away from Skeet, fur sponging about his body. "Get out of here, _you jerk!_"

Otto narrowed his eyes dangerously. "What did you say, little brother?"

He took two, quick strides forward and struck Pippen in the face. The kitten stumbled backwards from the blow, but Otto grabbed him and pulled him forward again. Skeet screamed, scrambling back to his corner as Pippen's tiny body lurched backwards again as Otto swung a fist at him.

I lunged forward. No _way_ was this monster going to hurt my children anymore.

Otto must've anticipated my move because he turned slightly to strike me as I hurtled forward, driven by rage and adrenaline. I was sent fast and hard against one of the walls, stunned. I slumped down to the ground, too dazed to get back up again. I watched dully as he flung Pippen against the opposite wall.

As he began to approach the trembling kitten, Pippen jutted his bloody chin (the aftermath of a split lip) forward in a gesture of defiance, I caught a blur of movement off to one side. Before either of us knew what was happening, Orion slammed his fist against Otto's jaw. The larger tom staggered backwards and tried to retaliate, but Orion was quicker and punched him again. He glanced at me.

"_Get the hell out of here, Macavity!_" he cried out desperately.

I nodded, struggling to my feet. I ran towards Skeet and, despite his shriek of panic, I lifted him into my arms. Pippen saw us and scrambled to his feet.

"_Uncle Orion!_" he shrieked, turning to me for help.

"_C'mon_, Pippen! Orion can take care of himself!"

"But-"

The kitten glanced helplessly between me and Orion then finally ran forward at me. He cast another terrified glance at Orion and Otto, then grabbed onto my paw firmly. I tightened my grip on him and practically dragged him after me.

Pippen cried out in shock as I ran forward and kicked the door open. He looked up at me with wide, awed eyes.

"_Wow, Dad..._"

We ran down the corridor, Skeet's sobs echoing in the dimly lit hallway dreadfully. Pippen had to run at his full speed to keep up with me and kept stumbling and nearly fell over twice. When we finally reached the door at the end of the hall, I kicked it open, receiving another admiring look from Pippen.

The instant we were out the door, we were soaked with rain. Pippen let out a disgusted exclamation. I smiled a little. We were outside and away from Otto's chamber of fun. I didn't mind the rain soaking my coat and pressing it down onto me like a limp, wet blanket. I didn't mind it at all.

I almost slipped and fell in the mud twice, nearly taking Pippen down with me. I would've laughed aloud if I did, I was so happy to be free of Otto's brutal fists and sexual innuendos and the sexual abuse on account of my poor kittens. The happiness dissolved the moment I remembered that Giselle and some of the kittens most also be inside that place. I skidded to a halt upon seeing a tom standing at the end of the alleyway.

He turned his head to face me and his jaw dropped.

"Macavity?"

"Oh, _thank Heavyside_," I whispered. I stepped forward. "You _have_ to help me, Jerrie."

"What's going on?" he asked then seemed to notice the twins. "What _happened_ to them?"

"_Not now, Jerrie_," I replied. I set Skeet down, noticing him wrap his arms across his tiny chest and begin to shiver. "Please, just help me. Find my brother."

Mungojerrie stared at me for a moment then nodded.

"Yes, sir," he replied, seeming to forget that he was no longer under my employ. He darted back into the junkyard.

* * *

"Let me get this straight: _you_ need _my_ help?"

I nodded dully as Munkustrap narrowed his eyes. I reached out and touched the wall, giving myself more support. "Yeah..."

"But you won't say why, right?"

My chin dropped to my chest and for a moment, I was certain that I'd pass out. I nodded once more.

"_Please_, Munkustrap," I replied, hating to sound so pathetic; hating to feel like I was groveling. "Can't you just _please_ forget everything that went on between us and everyone else for now? It's your niece we're talking about here. It's an innocent kitten, for crying out loud!" I swallowed and opened my eyes. "And Orion. You never had anything against him, did you? Orion was never the problem, was he?"

Munkustrap shook his head slowly, looking at me cautiously. "No, I don't have anything against him. Never did, I guess." He looked down at the ground, then back up at me. "Fine, but understand that I am only helping on account of the innocent Jellicles involved in this case. Not you. It's only right that I help for them."

"I don't care _why_," I said softly.

I swayed unsteadily, very aware of how much sleep I had lost the past few days. Munkustrap grabbed onto my arm and I glanced at him quickly. He offered a small smile and he helped me to steady myself.

"You know, I've kind of missed you. _This_ you. The one that actually cares about people other than himself."

I returned the smile weakly. "Thanks, I think."

Munkustrap shrugged. "We'd better hurry if all you're telling me is true."

"Thank you."

* * *

Tugger smiled at me, trying to cheer me up. I stared at him blankly for a moment before sighing and turning to look someplace else. Someplace with no other faces of compassion or concern. Right now I was soaking myself in a bath of self-pity, shame and guilt, and the humiliation of the entire situation.

"Macavity, it will be all right," Tugger said, trying to reassure me. I set my gaze to the ground, drawing in shaky breaths as all of the worst case scenarios blasted through my head.

Munkustrap seemed to notice the expression on my face because he gently called Tugger's name and I could see him shake his head gently at our younger brother. Tugger's face fell and he looked down at the ground, crestfallen. Mungojerrie paused outside the building and looked at me.

"I'll find Gissy you for, sir," he said quickly, darting inside before anyone else could say anything.

I turned to face the building. I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I stared up at it, unable to move. I jumped as a paw touched my uninjured shoulder. For a moment, I had to fight with myself in order to not reel around and attack, I felt so paranoid and worried about going back inside Otto's little torture chamber.

"Come on, Mac," Munkustrap said softly. I looked down at his paw on my shoulder and thought for a moment. We were so different in every single way and yet he was willing to help me, even after everything I had done to him and everything that he had heard about me. I glanced into his eyes and he pressed his mouth into a thin line of a smile. "Come on."

As we walked inside, each of us had to cover our noses in disgust. I hadn't remembered it smelling this badly before, but perhaps the things I was dreading, the deaths of Orion and the children who had still not yet surfaced, had happened. I looked around and the only other Jellicle to catch my eye was Alonzo. I was surprised that he had agreed to come along, but grateful none the less.

He started to say something, but was stopped as I hesitated outside of the room that Otto had tried to trap us in. Orion would be in there, but what if his death was making the horrible smell? I swallowed several times as the other toms surrounded me. Tugger patted me on the back and made a little show of sliding his claws out and baring his teeth. Munkustrap, on the other side of Tugger, had already done the same thing, but wasn't nearly so much of a ham as our little brother was.

"You guys ready?" Alonzo asked quietly. His claws were out and his words came through bared, savage looking teeth.

Tugger nodded grimly. I looked up at him wearily and decided to unsheathe my own claws.

"Hell, _I'm_ ready," Tugger said and smiled. "It's not _every_ day that you get to kick your brother's stepkid's tail."

I shook my head at his analysis of the situation, a small smile twitching the corners of my mouth.

"Then let's do this," Munkustrap growled, leading the way back into that room again.


	15. XV

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Orion?"

I half-staggered, half-ran into the little room then halted. My eyes took a second or two to readjust to the dim light, but I couldn't see him anywhere. Nor did I see Otto. The sudden realization that I could be in the same room as him dawned on me and I glanced around quickly. A soft groan turned my head to the right. I let out a cry of surprise and horror as I saw Orion. He was huddled into one of the corners of the room, his body curled in on itself. I took a hesitant step forward, not daring to speak. He raised his head warily.

"_Macavity?_ Is that you?"

I swallowed roughly and nodded, but still didn't say anything.

"I thought I told you to get out of here." He coughed violently. Munkustrap moved into the room so that he could squat down beside Orion. His healing powers were slightly stronger than mine were, even as a young kitten, and I knew that he was releasing endorphins to relax Orion and help manage his pain a little better until we could bring him to a real healer.

I rushed forward, forgetting all of my fears and worries, and dropped to my knees by his side. "I know you did, Ry, I know. But, I _had_ to come back to help you. You know that I wouldn't just _leave_ you here, right?"

He stared at me in mild disbelief. "Yeah, of course. But, I was kind of hoping you would. For your own good."

I held out my paw to him, forcing a smile. "Well, when have I ever done what has been good for me, Ry? Now, come on."

He started to reach for my paw, then dropped back against the wall, shivering. "_I can't._"

"Why?" I asked. I shook my head. "Nothing's wrong with you. Come on. We have to go now. Please, Ry. Try and get up."

Orion stared at my paw for a moment more then nodded miserably. "_All right_." He grasped my paw with his own, forcing himself into a sitting position. He gritted his teeth as he looked up at me. The focused look suddenly vanished and was replaced by a look of surprised fear.

"_Macavity! Look out!_"

I started to turn around, but something caught me around the waist and snapped me back. I let out a cry of pain as my good arm was wrenched up behind my back. Black swirls passed into my vision for only the briefest moment, then were gone. For a moment, I expected to feel the bones in my arm break and gritted my teeth against whatever pain was coming, but none did. The paw holding onto my arm released it and clamped itself around my throat instead. I was spun around again, this time facing my brothers and Alonzo. Munkustrap hissed.

"Let him go, Otto!"

I felt my knees weaken as the paw tightened on my throat. I couldn't breathe. _Not this again. How could he be so strong?_ I struggled against him, trying to throw him off, but to no avail. Otto responded to Munkustrap's command with a booming laugh.

"Ain't that _sweet?_" he asked, swinging me forward a bit. "You've come here to help out your big brother, huh? The one who's _hated_ you for years and whom you probably hate just as much. If not more, if I'm correct."

"_That's not true_," Tugger growled angrily. He glanced at Munkustrap as if to confirm his statement, but Munkustrap only stared coldly at Otto.

"It _is_ so," Otto taunted. I felt a knee ram into the small of my back and jerked forward, pressing my throat even harder against Otto's strong paws. I gagged and saw the black begin to creep into my vision. Tugger cringed, but, still, Munkustrap remained emotionless. Otto's brow lifted. "You didn't even flinch when I did that."

"Stop pretending that you can understand even the slightest bit about me," Munkustrap replied, his voice icy and dangerously low. "Stop pretending that you're going to remain safe if you continue to hurt my brother and insult our family."

"You're an _idiot_," Otto growled. "If you were half as smart as everyone makes you out to be, you'd know better than to help him. He's _worthless_."

He suddenly pitched me forward onto the ground. I hit hard and began choking air back into my burning lungs like before. I saw Orion start to reach out to me, to protect me, but Otto kicked at my ribs savagely and Orion's paw limply fell back to his side.

"You _want_ to help him? Doesn't look like you're doing a very good job of it." He kicked me again. "You pathetic junkyard Jellicles can't even defend the people they care about."

"You son of a-"

"_Watch your language_," Otto snapped, punctuating each word with a sharp kick. I bit my lip to hold back any cries of pain. Otto stopped and smiled down at me. "I do so detest obscene language."

Tugger suddenly lunged forward, taking Otto and everyone else by surprise. He managed to get in a solid punch to the jaw before Otto reacted. When he did, he simply backhanded my brother hard enough to send him to the ground, dazed. Munkustrap and Alonzo tensed. Otto noticed and smiled.

"Go on. I dare either of you to try it."

"We didn't come here to fight. We only want Orion and Macavity's daughter back," Munkustrap said softly.

"Not want a fight?" Otto shook his head in mock confusion. "Then why ever did you come?"

He lashed out, intending on slashing Munkustrap across the face. My brother jumped back with a warning hiss, his body tense with anger. Alonzo extended his claws and narrowed his eyes, not otherwise moving. I struggled to sit up, but Otto pushed me back down with his hind paw.

"Well, Macavity, at least on of your brothers is quick." He glanced down at me. "Such a shame I'll have to kill him, too. I could've used another tom to help out after you're dead."

"What are you _talking_ about?" I gasped, pushing upwards again.

"Oh, Mac, that's easy." He knelt and grasped a clump of the fur on my head with his huge paws. I yelped in started pain as he wrenched my head back to look at him. My throat was exposed to him and I squirmed in alarm to get away from him. "_I'm_ taking over the warehouse."

"Wha-"

"Silence!" he roared suddenly, slamming a fist into my jaw. Dazed, I slumped forward and he dropped my head, allowing me to rest my face in the dirt. I closed my eyes shut tightly, trying not to cry from the brutal handlings.

"You idiot, don't you _understand?_ With you dead and all of your precious kittens dead, too, I'll be made the leader."

I gasped. "No. Vindonia…"

"I've already taken her into consideration, my dear Macavity. Don't think I was so unprepared as to not think about your darling, pure Vinny."

I lifted my head slightly, feeling a dull anger raise inside me. "What do you do to her?"

He smiled a knowing smile that made my blood run cold. "Quite a few things, but I do believe she enjoyed them."

My fists clenched. "You bastard!"

He kicked me and I saw Munkustrap take a step forward. Alonzo was helping Tugger to his feet, although I don't believe my younger brother really needed the aid. All of this went unnoticed by Otto. He sneered down at me.

"Calm yourself, Macavity. She's a grown girl, after all. Besides, I'll do the decent thing by making her my queen."

"_She's your sister_," I protested, feeling sick to my stomach.

"Honestly, don't be so old-fashioned, Mac. Things like this happen _all_ the time."

"No…"

"Yes, Macavity." He smiled then, looking almost kind. "I know. Would you like to see your little girl before I kill you?"

"Vinny?" I narrowed my eyes angrily. "Where is she?"

He nodded then snapped his fingers. "Vin! Get in here!"

Munkustrap turned towards the door as a tall, striking queen appeared. She glanced at him with more than a trace of nervous distrust then noticed the other toms. Her gingery fur glowed in the dim light as she took them in silently. I could tell that her coat had been cleaned, seemingly professionally. Had Otto enough follows to include a groomer as well?

"_Now!_" Otto growled.

Vindonia walked forward, licking her lip nervously as she did. I could see her twist a small bit of fur between her fingers, a habit acquired years ago. Tugger bared his teeth angrily at her and I wanted to yell at him. She turned her steel blue eyes away from him quickly and focused on Otto. Her head lowered ever so slightly.

"Yes, Otto?"

"Come here, _lover_. I have someone I want to show to you."

She nodded, slipping wordlessly into his arms. Her eyes were wary, as though she were terrified of him, and yet attracted to the huge tom. He claimed a savage kiss from her lips, more for my benefit than anyone else's. My stomach turned over in disgust and outrage. Then he pointed down at me.

"_Macavity._"

She whirled away from him with a gasp of shock and horror. "_Daddy!_"

"_Vinny?_ What…"

She knelt down, wrapping her arms around me. I closed my eyes a moment, feeling comforted by her touch. She was still my daughter, my own flesh and blood and someone who I cared about deeply. She nuzzled her head against my neck.

"What _happened_ to you? What did you _do_ to him?" she demanded suddenly and I opened my eyes. Her own had turned icy and were glaring angrily up to her older half-brother.

He grabbed her wrist and jerked her to her feet. Vindonia uttered a cry of pain that made my heart break. It was so filled with panic and shame. I could tell that he had abused her to the point that she was so confused about the hurt and pain he caused her that was now reasoning that it was all, somehow, her fault. His eyes burned into hers and she looked away.

"Shut up! Don't you realize that this is for _your own good_, as well as mine?" he demanded, hooking an arm around her waist. His voice dropped lower. "Your father doesn't _approve_ of us and this is the only way for us to be together."

"But, Otto…" Her voice was weakened and shamed.

"Darling, listen to me. It's for the best," he replied, pressing his mouth against hers again.

"_Stop manipulating her,_" I heard a growl respond. I turned my head to see Orion was on his feet and looking furious. The pain he had been in seemed to have vanished.

Otto stared at him for a moment in disbelief. "_Fine_," he growled and shoved Vindonia aside with great force. Luckily, Alonzo caught her as she stumbled and lost her balance.

I straightened upright as Orion advanced, dread filling my body.

* * *

The fight between Orion and Otto was hopelessly short.

Orion lunged at Otto suddenly, his eyes filled with an almost murderous rage. I had never seen him so angry and bent on hurting someone before in my life. I cringed back as he slammed a fist into the younger tom's jaw.

Otto stumbled back a step, drawing a confused and frightened gasp from Vindonia. She looked around her in panic, as though concerned what might happen if Orion managed to hurt Otto. I wanted to kill Otto for what he had done to my family.

However, Otto quickly regained his balance and retaliated with a solid punch of his own. Orion was flung away like some sort of rag doll, gasping for air. I realized that he had been hit in the stomach and was struggling to regain his breath.

Otto realized this, too, and smiled. He knew that he had every advantage he could want at the moment. And, we could do what he damn well pleased. Orion's eyes flashed up to meet his and he paled as he saw the look on Otto's face. It was a look that let me know that he had suddenly given up all hope.

Orion was slammed back into the wall. He struggled to throw Otto off him, but was too weak. Otto had an advantage over him. Orion was injured badly and was suddenly rendered completely helpless.

Otto smiled at him then trust his paws forward, claws out. Orion let out a gasp of shock as the younger tom's clawed slashed into his stomach. Otto held him against the wall for a moment then took a step back. I watched in stunned horror as Orion stood there, his paws hanging limply at his sides.

Then, he looked down. His face seemed confused, as though he couldn't believe that he had actually been injured. Then, he moaned softly and sunk down to the ground. His features, normally so in control, contracted in pain as he squeezed his eyes closed.

I somehow found strength to get to my feet and run to his side. I sunk down beside him, taking his trembling body in my arms.

"_Orion!_ Oh, God! Orion, _look at me!_"

Orion's eyes turned up to meet mine. "Macavity, I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't know that… _I wanted to help_… I…"

I shook my head violently. "Shut up. Stop talking. _It's not your fault!_ I'll get you out of here, trust me. You'll be _fine_, Ry."

Orion shivered and licked his lips. "_Macavity?_ Why…"

"Just stop," I moaned as blood leaked onto my own fur. "Please. You'll be fine, Ry, I promise. Just stop talking and…" I couldn't bring myself to finish as he moaned again, closing his eyes, but not passing out.

I heard Otto laugh behind me. "Well, you can't really blame me, can you? After all, he was being such a pain and I just wanted to kill you and have it done with, Macavity. He would've interfered with that."

Suddenly, something inside of me snapped. I saw blackblue creep into the edges of my vision and was on my feet. All pain and sorrow forgotten, I lunged forward. Now I knew how Orion could forget all of his pain- he did it for someone he loved. Now? So was I.

Otto was thrown off his feet and onto the floor. I pounded my fists onto his head and shoulders in rage. I could hear myself yelling something, but didn't know what. I could hear Vindonia's screams as well, but they didn't matter to me. _Nothing_ did anymore.

_Nothing_ except killing this evil, _evil_ tom cat.

Suddenly, Otto hooked a fist up and sent me sprawling. I rolled over, surprisingly not hurt, and hissed.

"You _bastard_! _You killed my best friend!_"

His lips turned up in a smile. "And raped your daughter, don't forget."

"_I'm going to kill you!_" I nearly roared in fury.

"You're welcome to try."

Before I knew what was happening, I was pitched backwards. I hit my head hard on the ground. The world spun around me in meaningless blurs of color. It focused suddenly and I could see Otto advancing towards me. Only, it seemed to be in slow motion.

Glancing at Orion's limp form, I jutted my paws forward, claws out. Otto landed on me with a growl, then gasped in pain and surprise. His eyes widened in pain and surprise.

Humorlessly, I curled my lips into a smile. "Told you so."

* * *

I only vaguely recall what happened next.

Munkustrap dove forward the instant I almost passed out from pain and hauled Otto off me. He was still alive, gasping and clutching his chest as if he could somehow heal himself by doing this. His eyes met mine for a moment and I nearly felt sorry for him. He suddenly looked very much like the little tom kitten I had tried to love and raise. I looked away.

I felt Munkustrap's arms slid underneath my body. I grabbed onto him desperately, unaware that he was watching the others. He grunted as he lifted me from the ground.

"C'mon," he barked at Tugger and Alonzo. "Don't just _stand_ there staring at me! Grab the girl and Orion!"

"But, Orion's-"

"Just do it!"

Dizzy with pain and half awake, I groaned, tightening my hold on his arm. Munkustrap didn't cringe. "Orion? Is that… where…"

"Just me," I heard Munkustrap reply softly. His voice sounded dull and saddened. "Sorry."

I shook my head weakly. I couldn't remember where Orion had gone. Startled, I realized that I found the same thing true for myself.

"Where am I?" I demanded, feeling panic rise within me. The world was once again a colorful blur.

"Going back to the junkyard," he answered.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard Vindonia sobbing.

"Oh, my _God!_ _Daddy!_ Why did he kill him? _Why_ did this _happen?_"

She sounded hysterical with grief, but it was hard to tell for whom she was more sorry. Me, for having been abused and seeing my best friend die in front of me. Or for Otto, who had led her to believe… well, I can never be sure what he led her to believe. I heard Alonzo's voice lower to comfort her.

I turned my face to see Tugger lift Orion's limp form off the ground. He seemed oblivious to the blood that was staining his own fur. In fact, he was staring at Orion in a strange way that I didn't understand and hurt my heart to see. Tugger turned his face to Munkustrap, his eyes betraying something to him, but I couldn't tell what.

"Oh, my God! What happened?"

The accent was familiar and even though I couldn't see him, I knew that Mungojerrie had returned. I saw Munkustrap frown.

"Get the kitten out of here, Jerrie! Don't you think that she's seen enough horror as it is?"

"Of course," Mungojerrie replied, sounding forlorn and frightened. "Come on, Gissy."

"Where's my daddy? You _promised_ I could see him! _I want my father!_"

"Ah, Gissy, not now," Mungojerrie replied, his voice pleading. "Come on."

"_Daddy!_"

"I'm right here, baby," I found myself able to moan. I cleared my throat and said it again, louder this time.

Giselle started to protest at Mungojerrie's paw trying to pull her gently from the room. She frowned up at him angrily then her eyes dropped to the room around her. I groaned as her tiny, delicate face dropped in horror and sadness as she beheld the sight of the room. I tightened my paws on Munkustrap's arm, feeling strength rush through me for an instant.

"_Get her out of here._"

"Go, Jerrie!"

Giselle burst into sobs as I saw Mungojerrie lift her into his arms and carry her out of the room. I breathed in deeply, struggling for breath, and coughed. To my horror and surprise, there was the tiniest bit of blood on my paw when I removed it. Munkustrap's face fell, but he tried to force a smile.

"Don't worry, Mac. We'll get you fixed right up. It's only a little blood."

I closed my eyes in misery as he walked from the tiny room. The movement was beginning to make me sick to my stomach. I clapped a paw over my eyes, trying to sooth myself. I could hear the others' voices ahead of me, growing closer then farther apart with every step.

"Munkustrap?" I asked in a voice barely above a whisper. I opened my eyes, taking my paw away from them for a minute.

He looked down at me. For a moment, I thought that he looked almost ashamed that all this had happened then he smiled warmly.

"Yes? Are you all right?"

I could see the hallway begin to lighten. We were walking toward the exit. The cool spring breeze felt pleasant on my face. I shut my eyes.

"I'm _really_ glad that you believed me."


	16. XVI

**Chapter Sixteen**

I paced back and forth, cradling Giselle against my chest. She had the tip of her paw in her mouth and was sound asleep. I didn't know where Pippen had run off to, but I wasn't too concerned. He had already managed to make friends with some of the other Jellicle kittens. He was probably playing with them.

Skeet, I knew, was sleeping at Munkustrap's with Demeter watching over him. Once Demeter had learned what Otto had done to my son, she was instantly attached to him and insisted on being the one to watch over him and give him anything he needed, at least until my mate showed up and could take her place. I knew why Demeter was so quick to help Skeet, a rape victim, out and it made me sad that I had given her more insight than she ever needed to know. Yet, despite how much she hated me, and rightfully so, she still insisted on taking care of my child. I was amazed at how big her heart was, especially to the suffering.

Vindonia was being kept busy by a reluctant Bombalurina. I knew that she did not want this job, especially when it came to spending time with _my_ kittens. She seemed to act like Vindonia was just like me, in every way, and out to plot some horrible take over of the junkyard instead of just being a heart-broken young queen who had been abused badly in her relationship.

"Macavity?"

I turned to face Jennyanydots. She smiled softly and reached out to touch Giselle. The tiny kitten moaned in her sleep and nestled closer against my shoulder. Jennyanydots looked up at me.

"Poor dear. Give her to me, Macavity. I'll watch her for a moment."

Somewhat reluctantly, I handed the slight kitten over to my aunt. Giselle opened her eyes and let out a soft whimper. Her eyes focused on me nervously, then calmed when she saw that I didn't look worried in the least. Jennyanydots smiled at me again and cuddled the kitten to her chest. Her eyes traveled back to a small car she had just walked out of.

"You might want to go see Orion now." She rocked my kitten and began to coo at her. Giselle's smile lit up the room we were in and I knew that she was lapping up the kitten-talk, especially since we had never spoken that way with any of our kittens, preferring to speak to them in adult voices the whole time they were growing up. That's why Hyde and Vindonia were so well-read and well-versed.

I swallowed. "He's going to die, isn't he? You couldn't save him."

She shook her head quickly. "No, I don't think so."

"What? _How?_ He was…"

"He was hurt pretty badly, _that's true_, but I think he'll pull through. Otto missed any organs that would've done him permanent damage. It's a good thing that your brother decided to bring him back with you, or else he would've bled to death. I'm sure of that." She paused. "I think he'll be fine, Macavity."

"Thank Heavyside," I breathed as my gaze fell to the ground.

She patted my arm and I looked back up at her. "Go on now. I'll keep an eye on Giselle for you."

"Thanks."

I hesitated outside of the car then climbed inside. The car smelled of medicines and natural remedies. I wrinkled my nose in slight disgust at the smell; the smell of sickness. I looked around the car's interior and noticed my Aunt Jellylorum standing over one of the back seats. She was talking softly.

"Aunt Jelly?"

She spun around, startled. "Oh! My goodness, Macavity! You startled me."

"I'm sorry."

"Macavity? That you?"

I swallowed. "Yeah, Ry. It's me."

Jellylorum moved aside so that I could approach Orion. He was propped up against a pile of pillows, a blanket drawn high up onto his chest. He looked as though Jennyanydots had scrubbed him clean. All traces of blood and dirt were, his coat a shiney white again. He grinned weakly.

"Hey! You've finally decided to come in and see me, huh?" he asked, his voice weak and soft.

"Well, of _course_ I did. I would've come sooner, but they-" I pointed at Jellylorum with a smile "- wouldn't let me. Plus, I had to wait for Gissy to drift off."

He laughed then coughed painfully. Jellylorum tensed. "No, Mac," he said once he could speak again. "Don't apologize. I was just playing with you. You need to lighten up some and have fun once in a while."

"You scared me pretty badly," I replied, my face falling. Orion's eyes stayed on my face and he tilted his head ever so slightly.

"_Why?_"

"Because I thought you were going to die."

He raised an eyebrow. "That's very doubtful. I couldn't die before you did."

Sensing that he was beginning to mock me, I crossed my arms over my chest. "And why not?"

"Cuz you're too _freakin' dumb_ to last long without me," he answered. He pointed at my battered face. "Just _look_ at you."

"Thanks, Ry," I replied sarcastically. Orion smirked, slumping back against the pillows, looking exhausted, but still wanting to talk. "So, how are you doing?"

With a frown, he shrugged. "All right, I guess. I'm just glad that Otto didn't puncture anything."

"I am, too."

"If he had, I would've been dead," Orion said, his voice turning wary and cold. "He didn't really seem to notice that he didn't kill me right away. So, I guess he didn't finish me off like he would've otherwise."

"Yeah," I said grimly. "He was too busy trying to kill me than to worry about you."

"He was?" I glanced at my friend quickly to see that this new news was a shock to him. He had probably realized that Otto was out to hurt me, but he might not have realized that he was trying to murder me. After all, he had been torturing everyone, not trying to kill anyone. Orion shook his head. "How are the kids?"

I shook my head, suddenly depressed. "I don't know. Skeet's still basically hysterical and screams and panics anytime someone tries to touch him. He also refuses to talk about anything that Otto did to him and last night he was screaming in his sleep. Every time I managed to get him to settle down and fall back asleep again, he'd start screaming again. I had to sleep with him in my arms most of the night."

"Poor guy," Orion murmured, looking away.

"I really hope Griddlebone gets here soon. He needs his mother. I mean, he'll let me hold him and comfort him, but it's not the same. Besides, he shivers whenever I hold him and I think he's too scared to be held by anyone but her."

Orion's jaw set angrily. "Heavyside, what I wouldn't give to have seen you kill that bastard."

"Please, Ry," I said softly. "_Don't_. I just want to forget about him and everything he's done to us. _Please._"

Orion nodded. "Yes, of course you do. Doesn't mean it will work, but I'll try my best to not bring it up unless you want me to." He paused for a moment. "I'll talk to Skeet if he wants me to."

"_If._ Thanks for the offer, but I don't think he will. If he does, I'll send him in." I hesitated. "Are you going to be all right? I mean, are you going to have to stay in bed for very long?"

"I don't know," Orion replied. "Not too long, I don't think. I'll be able to walk and run and be my old self again in a few months, if that's what you're asking. I told you, it's a good thing Otto wasn't all that seriously about trying to kill me. I think it was more of a show for you what he did."

"Maybe…"

Orion suddenly smiled. "C'mon, Mac, be happy. Everything worked out all right, in the end, don't you think."

I smiled weakly. "Yeah, you're right. I guess it did."

Jennyanydots appeared at the door, rocking a sleeping Giselle gently.

"Griddlebone's here," she said quietly. "Teazer's bringing her down here right now."

I grinned at Orion, unable to help myself, and took Giselle back in my arms. Walking swiftly, I left the car to go and find my mate.

* * *

"Macavity!"

Griddlebone raced towards me and into my arms, nearly crushing Giselle between us. Jostled rudely out of sleep, the tiny kitten opened her sleepy eyes and yawned, stretching out her body and poking me in the gut with one of her feet. I smiled as she noticed Griddlebone.

"Mama?"

"Yes, baby, it's me," she replied, her voice cracking with emotion. She stroked the kitten's face then turned her eyes up to mine. "Heavyside, Macavity, I'm so glad you're safe!"

"I'm just glad to see your beautiful face again," I murmured, nuzzling my face against her head fur. She let out a shaky laugh and I moved back a little bit. I caught her chin in my paw and tilted her head up.

"What's wrong?" I asked, staring into her beautiful eyes. Tears were glistening down her cheeks. She made a half hearted attempt to brush them away.

"I was so _scared_," she managed to whisper. Giselle cocked her head.

"But, why, Mama?" the kitten asked.

"Because I didn't have _you_, sweetheart," she answered, smiling a little. She kissed the kitten's head affectionately then tapped her on the nose. Giselle giggled, nestling back against my chest. "Why don't you go and play with some of the other kittens, darling, so that Daddy and I can talk?"

Giselle considered this for a moment, then nodded, as though giving us her supreme approval. "All right, Mama."

I set our kitten down on the ground and she scampered off to find someone to play with. I turned back to Griddlebone and embraced her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned her forehead against my chest.

"Was there another reason why you were so scared?" I asked quietly. She nodded.

"I thought you were _dead_," she whispered.

"But, why?"

"Because…" she sniffed. "I… I've always noticed that Otto _didn't_ like you… I tried to make him change his mind, but… but he _wouldn't_. When I saw Hyde, I… I knew he was out to get you. I should've known all along… but, I didn't." She wiped her eyes with a paw. "He's so much bigger than you and I was terrified he'd kill you."

"Can't say he didn't try," I murmured.

She shuddered at the thought. "I know he did. God, Macavity, I know he did." She looked up at my face. "How badly did he hurt you?"

"This-" I pointed to my nose, "-and this-" I pointed to my arm and broken wrist. Luckily, it was bandaged so that neither of us had to look at the scrapes and bruises I knew were forming on it. Griddleboen shook her head.

"I'm _so_ sorry. We'll have to discipline him." She looked up at me. "If you can ever let him near the warehouse again."

I bit my lip. "No. We can't."

"I understand," she said softly, hanging her head in defeat. "He's my son, but… so are Pippen and Skeet. And my little Gissy. I can't ever let him hurt them again."

"Griddlebone, he won't _ever_ be able to hurt our kittens again."

She looked up again, disbelief dawning in her eyes. "Why not?"

"He… he died."

She stood motionless for a moment then collapsed against me, sobs shaking her body. I hugged her closely to me, sinking down to the ground. She crawled into my lap like a small kitten, unable to do anything but sob for a few minutes. After a while, she gained enough control to speak.

"_Why?_" she sobbed. "Why did this have to happen? Was I a _bad_ mother? Is that it? Did I not pay enough attention to him? _Did I miss some sign?_"

I shook my head, kissing her forehead gently. "No, darling. It wasn't _you_. It wasn't anything any of us could've stopped. Or controlled. If it had been, do think any of this would've happened?"

"No," she wept softly.

"No, because I love you too much to let you be hurt like that," I whispered.

She turned her face up to mine and sought a kiss. "I know you do, you crazy idiot. I love you, too."

I shifted her out of my lap and stood. Bending, I helped her to her feet. I wrapped an arm around her waist and smiled down at her.

"C'mon, Griddlebone. We should go see how Skeet's doing."

* * *

Old Deuteronomy greeted me with a smile and gestured for me to sit down. Too tired and drained to disagree, I sank down onto the ground across from where he was sitting.

"Well, Macavity, this certainly reminds of another time when you had gotten yourself into trouble, doesn't it?"

"Please, grandfather. Don't bring up old stories. I was such an _idiot_ when I was a kitten."

"I would beg to differ, but you wouldn't hear me out."

I laughed. "No, I probably _wouldn't_."

Suddenly serious, he touched my arm. "I don't want you to be such a stranger anymore. I don't want to wake up again to hear that you had been murdered."

"But, I wasn't murd-"

"That was the rumor going around the junkyard." He offered me a smile. "Thankfully, it was untrue."

"Yes." I looked down at the ground.

"Go on, Macavity, get out of here."

I looked back up, startled. "What?"

"I don't want to take up any more of your time, my boy. Your mate and kittens need you much more than I do at the moment."

"Yes, they do, don't they?" I stood and started to leave.

"Macavity?"

I turned back to him. "Yes?"

"Despite what you want everyone to believe, you're still a Jellicle cat who belongs to this junkyard."

* * *

For once, I saw a Jellicle Gathering the whole way through. I'd never seen one before as a kitten: the adults had always shipped us off to bed after the Naming Dance, having more dancing and singing afterwards. But now, with Giselle in my lap, sleeping, Pippen off playing with some of the Jellicle kittens, Skeet asleep in his mother's lap, and Vindonia chatting lazily with some of the older queens, I realized that this wasn't as corny and dull as I thought it would be. It wasn't as grand as a Ball, but it did hold more than enough charm for anyone to appreciate.

I could see Hyde and Torra as well, sitting a ways off from the rest of the crowd. They had been relieved to learn that we were all right and had joined Griddlebone on her trip to the junkyard. Old Deuteronomy had allowed them inside and invited them to join in the festivities if they so desired. I knew Hyde wouldn't, but I wasn't entirely sure about Torra.

After a few strenuous dances, the Jellicles seemed to separate from one another and moved off towards the sides to rest. I closed my eyes, feeling sleepy, but content. Griddlebone leaned her head against my shoulder and sighed.

"Isn't this _beautiful?_" she whispered. "I had no idea these people were your family."

I smiled and kissed the top of her head, not saying anything. Words didn't seem to have any purpose right now.

I started to drift off to sleep when a single voice began singing. I opened my eyes to see a smaller kitten standing in the clearing the Jellicles had made. I didn't recall her name and only vaguely remembered seeing her before. Perhaps, she was one of Pippen's new playmates.

"I'm so proud of my little girl," Jennyanydots murmured. "Who would've thought that my little Electra would go up there and sing like that. She usually never sings in front of the Tribe."

The rusty kitten glanced upwards, but not at the moon, like the one at the Ball had. Her clear, bright eyes were trained on a shooting star falling across the sky. The other Jellicles noticed and turned their heads up towards the sky. Griddlebone nudged me.

"Quick, Macavity! Make a wish!"

I looked around then.

I saw my four, beautiful kittens. Each so unique and wonderful in their own special ways. Each a funny combination of myself and Griddlebone. Running through their blood our strengths and weaknesses.

I saw my step-children and half-siblings. Both were so strong and independent, so like their mother, but still very much individuals. Yet, I knew, no matter how different they were, they couldn't bear to allowed themselves to be separated from their mother.

I saw my brothers. I saw how much they had grown since we were kittens, but, in some ways, they were they same as they had been years ago. Munkustrap so serious and thoughtful, Tugger still playful and mischevious.

I saw Bombalurina, strong and beautiful as ever. Yet, I knew her weaknesses, perhaps even better than she did. And, I could only wonder what had become of our kitten together. I knew by the way she was still able to hold her head up high that the kitten was alive and well. Maybe our kitten didn't know who her parents were, but Bombalurina hadn't done what she had threatened and had decided to give it a chance.

Then, all at once, I saw everyone else's faces spin past me. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer making jokes and pulling pranks, Quaxo experimenting with his magic, Demeter dancing, Cassandra watching with her knowing eyes. Aunt Jenny and Aunt Jelly. Uncle Skimble. Alonzo, who had snuggled up to the kitten who had sang at the Ball this year.

I looked at Orion, propped off to the side. He was watching the shooting star just as intently as anyone else. I noticed that he seemed relaxed and happy. Back to his old self again. I smiled slightly. I knew I owed him everything here tonight.

And, as I looked up to the sky again, I saw a twin pair of stars twinkle softly against the black velvet of the sky. Ira and Grizabella, I knew. They had promised to watch over me and it looked as though they were keeping just that promise.

_Be good to Griddlebone. She loves you more than you know._

I smiled at the thought of Grizabella's words. Everlasting Cat knew I would try. Harder than ever now.

Griddlebone noticed my smile and smiled back.

"Did you make a wish?"

"Nope."

"Why not?" she asked.

I wrapped an arm around her, kissing her lips gently. She put her free arm around me, her face smiling up at me.

"Because," I said softly. "I don't need to make a wish. Wishes are for people who want something they don't have. And, I have everything I could possibly want here tonight."


End file.
